


To Build A Home

by saintamaris



Series: All For Us [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bloodbending (Avatar), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Giving the gals and the gays what they want, Hakoda is immaculate, I see no god up here but me baby, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, Sibling Bonding, Sokka and Katara?, You mean Prince and Princess of the Southern Water Tribe?, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, ozai is a bitch, ozai is gonna catch a fade
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:35:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 67,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26503753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintamaris/pseuds/saintamaris
Summary: Katara’s eyes remind him of the sea he had made his home and he thinks that maybe it is the reason why he felt so drawn to her. She is a lighthouse in the middle of a raging storm; she is the sun and he is the Earth in her orbit.She softly reaches for his hand and pulls him out of the house towards the road leading to the market and he is content in her presence. He feels safe with her and knows that when the war ends that is what he wants his home to be - somewhere he feels safe.
Relationships: Aang/Toph Beifong (Avatar), Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Jet/Mai (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Series: All For Us [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926889
Comments: 92
Kudos: 125





	1. Brokering New Deals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after the failed invasion plan on the Day of Black Sun, however, Zuko finds Iroh after he confronts his father and they both follow the Gaang to the Western Air Temple so that the Avatar can learn firebending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip to Bryke but I’m different and Jet does not die in the Dai Li headquarters because my boy deserves some redemption. Azula is also getting her redemption because she is a victim of child abuse and I want her to get better. All rights to the show Avatar: The Last Airbender belongs to Nickelodeon, but this is my story and I'm giving the gals and the gays what they deserve.

Katara wanted to choke Zuko, desperately.

She knew that for sure, but another part of her was still that young girl reaching out to a young boy in a cave of glowing green crystals.

“Hello, Zuko here.”

She felt a cold shiver run through her body. The audacity of this man to show up after all he’s done!

She promptly stopped paying attention to what he was saying and continued to glare at him. She’s sure if she had the ability to earthbend he would be several feet underground.

“Yeah, I’m going to stop you right there buddy.” Jet admonished.

“What makes you think that we can trust you after all you’ve done?” He continued.

Jet was another addition to Katara’s little group that she had yet to decide if she was happy about or aggravated. After his heroics in the Dai Li headquarters to rescue Appa, he along with Smellerbee and Longshot decided they could better contribute to the war effort alongside the Avatar. So long as they had asked for forgiveness and had a chance to prove that they had changed - especially to Katara.

Katara continued to forgo paying attention to the conversation at hand and was ruminating in her thoughts when she heard Aang individually ask her friends if they would be okay with Zuko joining their ragtag group if it meant he learned firebending.

A part of her wanted to seeth. No, no it wouldn’t be okay, she wanted to say. The last time I thought it was okay to trust him Aang had ended up dying in her arms. She refused to go through that feeling of terror again, not if she could help it.

When Aang finally turned to ask her for her opinion, Katara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She unconsciously reached out to all the heartbeats in the bodies around her and felt how erratic Zuko’s heartbeat was. As if Katara’s say in this matter was of utmost importance to him. She straightened her back and faced him head-on.

“After your little stunt with your sister in the catacombs Aang died. “ She began.

“And it was my fault for trusting you, for believing that you had actually changed. Aang needs a firebending teacher, that’s true, and I accept your role in helping him defeat the Fire Lord.”

“But let me make something abundantly clear to you, if you slip up or make one wrong move to hurt my family, you won’t have to worry about your destiny anymore. Because I’ll make sure your destiny ends, right then and there, permanently.” She tilted her head and met his eyes as if to beg him to step out of line so that she could show him what she meant.

Iroh who had remained silent during the whole endeavor nodded in her direction.

“It would be wise for my nephew to heed your words. So that he knows he will be held accountable for his decisions.” He shot his nephew a side-ways glance.

Katara softened a bit, “I’m glad that you are alright General Iroh, I felt guilty leaving you behind.”

“There is no need for guilt, however, I would rather enjoy a hot cup of tea with some lovely company.” He smiled gently.

“And maybe we can have a friendly game of Pai Sho. I have taken a liking to the game since Master Pakku introduced it to me.” She replied.

-

Zuko watched as his uncle and the waterbender - no, her name is Katara - left in search of a place to play a friendly game of pai sho and enjoy some tea.

He wasn’t going to lie to himself, the ride to the Western Air Temple had been an emotional rollercoaster, and he was surprised that his Uncle had been so forgiving of his mistakes.

“I’m so sorry Uncle, I don’t know how you could ever forgive me,” he remembered crying out only for his Uncle to snatch him into an embrace and cradle his head.

“I am not angry with you my nephew, I was just afraid that you had lost your way and that the weight of your travels did not give you a change of heart.” Iroh had replied.

Standing before the Avatar and his friends, Zuko knew deep down that his travels had affected him in more ways than one. And his mistake to side with Azula had been one of the worst decisions he has ever made. But he remembers the desperation and longing of wanting his father to love him and have his approval. Of wanting to be able to return home and eat his favorite foods in any quantity he wanted. To visit his mother’s favorite garden and sit with the turtle ducks.

But even when he finally had all of the things he thought he wanted, there was this hollow feeling in his chest. And a voice telling him he didn’t belong in the palace and enjoying all of those delicacies when people of all nations were starving because of the war. That his Uncle was rotting in a jail cell and being treated like scum for doing what was right.

But most importantly he thought of pretty pure blue eyes staring into his golden ones and offering him a chance to be free of one of his greatest insecurities. Blue eyes that he saw in his dreams telling him he made the wrong choice and begging him to join her. Ones he found that he longed and looked for after returning home.

He shook these thoughts from his head, he could deal with those later.

He was walking side by side with the Water Tribe boy to his new accommodations and felt like he should break the silence. And he would have if Jet wasn’t walking on the other side of the Water Tribe boy.

“Make yourself at home, your Uncle is most likely going to be in the rooms right next to yours. I tried to be considerate and put you in rooms where when the sun rises you would be able to see it first thing when you wake up. And you know, do your meditations.” The Water Tribe boy said.

“Oh, and in case you don’t remember my name it’s Sokka, with an okka. And that’s Jet.” Sokka nodded in Jet’s direction.

Jet stared him down, “Yeah, he knows who I am, but reintroductions are always something to look forward to. Isn’t that right Zuko?” Jet tilted his head and arched his brow.

“It’s always nice to see a familiar face, even if that face, the last time I saw it, tried to get my Uncle and I potentially killed.” Zuko shot him a pained smile.

Sokka looked back and forth between the two men and rolled his eyes. “Well I’ll leave you two to get acquainted but please don’t break anything. Katara will most definitely kill you and me being her steadfast and loyal brother and Toph with her penchant for murder will not hesitate to cover it up.” Sokka then walked out of the room mumbling something about stomach pains and a desire for a meaty lunch.

“I just wanted to let you know I saw the way you were looking at Katara.” Zuko blanched at those words, but Jet wasn’t finished.  
“And I’m going to tell you this once. It will never work between you two. So you can dream all you want but at the end of the day only I will know how sweet her lips taste and you can sit in here and know that she will never want you.” Jet said as he began to make his way out of Zuko’s room.

“And trust me, she sure is sweet.” Jet let out a little chuckle and all but disappeared down the hallway.

Zuko let out a huff. 

He knew he had no chance with Katara, but he wouldn’t stop until he earned her trust. Even if it was the last thing he would do.

-

Toph had about had it with all of the testosterone clogging up her air, along with all of the heartbeats that seemed to beat irregularly every time Sugar Queen moved or spoke.

She had grown used to feeling the vibrations of Aang’s heartbeat whenever Katara gave him praise. 

She had gotten used to Jet’s outward suave behavior when Katara came around, even though she could tell his heart was beating out of his ribcage every time Katara acknowledged him.

In the short amount of time, Toph had come to know Haru she could tell from the way his heartbeat sped up that Katara was coming near.

She assumed that Sugar Queen must have been really pretty to garner so much male attention. And she commended her for it. Nothing better than using all of your abilities to get what you want.

What Toph did not understand was Zuko.

Zuko’s heartbeat had stayed perfectly even when he was apologizing and trying to explain his presence at the Western Air Temple. It had stayed even when Aang was asking his friends about their opinions on letting Zuko stay. But the moment Aang had called out Katara’s name, Zuko’s heartbeat all but tripled.

Even after Katara had walked away after promptly threatening to kill him, Zuko’s heartbeat stayed at its accelerated rate. And Toph just knew he was still staring after Sugar Queen longingly.

Toph let out a chuckle to herself and made her way to follow Katara and Iroh. 

When she finally got the old man alone and explained the situation, they made their wagers. Things just got a little more interesting and a lot more entertaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The update schedule is still being determined, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Leave a kudos and a comment and let me know your thoughts.


	2. The Tale of Two T's

Jet couldn’t tell if he was amused or irritated. Since Zuko and Iroh had come to join the group they had made their presence known and felt. Zuko could be found doing everything simultaneously while at other times nobody was able to find him at all. With the exception of Katara, who when she begrudgingly called for him he came running to help her. So far Zuko had gone on two “life-altering field-trips,” one with Aang and the other with Sokka. Jet wouldn’t lie, the story about passing Ran and Shaw’s test sounded every bit as terrifying as it did thrilling. Just as much as breaking Chief Hakoda and Suki out of the Fire Nation’s most renowned prison. Okay, maybe Jet was a little jealous that he didn’t get to help on that particular endeavor if only to stick it to the Fire Nation that they were not invulnerable. 

Jet wasn’t afraid to admit he was going through a bit of an internal crisis. So long as he didn’t have to admit the problem out loud. Ever since he had joined Team Avatar as Sokka had dubbed them he was having an issue dealing with his animosity towards the Fire Nation and his newfound identity. He wanted to be better and there were some days where he felt better. Where he could acknowledge that there were some people in the Fire Nation that had been hurt just like he had. He remembers the small fishing village and a particular little boy with a burn scar on his shoulder. A little boy that reminded Jet of himself, one who reminded him of all the Freedom Fighters he had taken under his wing in that forest all that time ago.

Jet had already begun to make amends to the Freedom Fighters that had found their own way and later joined the Avatar on his journey. But he felt that his efforts so far hadn’t been enough. Because in the dark hours of the night Jet felt awful about what he did, truly. But then the darker part of him, the one who starkly appears to be a little boy with fire dancing in his eyes calls him a traitor for giving up his cause. Jet shook his head. He was done acting out his younger self’s ideology - it was time to grow. Time to recognize that holding on to all of that hatred had done him little good.

As Jet walked aimlessly through the Western Air Temple he realized that he hadn’t even apologized for antagonizing the old man and his nephew. Sure they were firebenders - royal firebenders for that matter, but they were hiding and he had made life difficult for them. Even if he didn’t particularly feel like apologizing to Zuko, General Iroh, or as he had insisted everyone call him Uncle, deserved one. So Jet set his course to go find Iroh and was trying to find the words to say. For some reason, he didn’t think saying a simple “I’m sorry” was going to be good enough.

Jet was grateful though, that even if his apology to Iroh wasn’t accepted, the forgiveness he had been given by some of the former Freedom Fighters was good enough for him. He wondered if this is the path destiny wanted for him to partake. 

Jet shivered, he knew he deserved that cold look Katara had given him once she had found out what he had planned for that Fire Nation village. He knew he even deserved being frozen to that tree. But what stuck with him the most was Sokka’s words and branding him a traitor for mixing up what he stood for. The Water Tribe siblings seemed to have the ability to change the minds and hearts of everyone around them Jet thought to himself. As he continued to go down his mental spiral he bumped into the man he was just looking for.

“Iroh! Just the man I was coming to see.”

“Hello Jet, may I interest you in some ginseng tea?” Iroh replied kindly.

From his brief interactions with the man, Jet knew that Iroh’s love of tea was something he certainly had not had to fake and nodded in reply to Iroh’s question.

“What seems to be troubling you?” Iroh looked at him expectantly.

Jet began to sputter, “Trouble? There’s no trouble. Why would you think there is any trouble?” He felt cold sweat beginning to collect in his palms.

Iroh chuckled. “I have found that many of you come to seek my wisdom when something is troubling you, and I am always here to listen and impart some of that wisdom onto others.”

Jet took a deep breath. He couldn’t really put into words why Iroh’s kindness made his chest feel like it was being stomped on by a herd of komodo-rhinos, or why it made his heart-ache for the warmth of the two faceless people he knew were his parents. But he needed to do this.

“I wanted to apologize. I realized that while I had been going to Ba Sing Se to start over there was still a part of me that was clinging to my identity as a Freedom Fighter. And that part of me irrationally lashed out, in the same manner, I had hoped to change. If it weren’t for Zuko stepping in and the Dai Li carting me away I could have seriously gotten the both of you hurt or even killed. I know that I still have a lot of work to do and that I am likely to fail but I have to try. I hope that one day you can find it in yourself to forgive me.” Jet exhaled.

He felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. As if to tell him that some of the baggage he lugged around with him everywhere he went had been left behind. He didn’t know if he missed the weight or if he was relieved but that was a reflection for another time.

“The road to redemption is often a hard path to take because we must find it within ourselves to make changes and stick to them. But it is worth all the while when we gain friends along the way.” Iroh said and offered him a cup of tea.

Jet took the tea gratefully. He could tell that the old man was wise and he wondered if he could confide in him with other troubles he was having. But for right now he was determined to learn about the old firebender who he almost got locked up, and that would have to be enough.

-

Night had come and Katara sighed while glancing up at the moon. She felt restless as she peered up at the fullness of the moon's glow. She shook out her hands and was ticking off the boxes on her checklist.

She had already finished cleaning up the remains of dinner and completed her chores for the day. All that was left for her to do was find it in herself to go to sleep. Katara knew that everyone would be asleep by now. Some of the occupants would be in their designated rooms while others were sleeping around the makeshift fire that Iroh had set up for dinner.

Katara looked around at the faces of her friends and family. Sokka and Suki were close in proximity a few feet away from her. She smiled softly at them. Sokka had one of the kindest hearts of the group and she knew that there was still a part of him that mourned Yue, even when they both had known there was no chance that they could be together. She hoped that he would allow himself some happiness because it was well deserved. Aang was asleep on top of one of Appa’s furry legs. He had grown quite a bit in the past few months and she felt the distinct feeling of pride with a twinge of guilt. Katara knew that Aang had feelings for her but with the looming comet she did not want him to lose focus believing he could gain her favor. Toph was on the opposite side of the fire only a few feet away from Zuko. They had quickly developed a bond that resembled that of two siblings who playfully fought but loved each other all the same. Katara did not yet understand her feelings towards Zuko. She was still seldom to trust him after the events of Ba Sing Se but she wouldn't hesitate to say that his help around camp was appreciated. He would do small things here and there when he thought she wouldn't notice and in turn Katara learned a few things about him as well.

Katara had found that Zuko slept on his scar, most likely so that if someone were to try to sneak up on him in the middle of the night he would hear them. Giving Katara the impression that the damage to the left side of his face resulted in partial loss of his eye sight and hearing. She found that Zuko had a pallet that liked all types of foods from the spiciest to mildly salty, but that he especially liked sweet fruits. She kept that in mind most days when she would cook meals.

As Katara was looking around at the faces of her companions she slowly drifted off to sleep, unaware of the problems that would be arising in a few short hours.

Katara had never been one for nightmares, and even when she did get them it was the same one being replayed over and over again. One with a woman with eyes so much like her own but dimming as the life was drained out of her as quickly as the pool of blood under her became noticeable. One where a little girl no more than 7 or 8 had stripped the woman of her necklace that was also covered in blood. Where the little girl comforted a crying older woman, a father, and a son. Where the little girl spent a year scrubbing the bloodstains out of the woman’s necklace.

No. This nightmare was much worse. One where the little girl was no longer little and powerless but rather a woman who was too powerful for comprehension. One who had become misguided and took life with no remorse. She slowly saw that woman transform into another - one with stark white hair with a chilling laugh and a spider-like posture.

Trapped in her nightmare Katara didn’t realize what she was doing to her friends and the rest of the occupants of the Western Air Temple in her sleep. As she shook her head back and forth trying to release herself from the dream she took hold of something else. Something with a metallic taste and in large supply.

-

Toph didn’t quite understand what was going on. One moment all she remembered was being in a dreamless sleep and in the next, feeling her heart seize. She kept telling herself that panicking wouldn’t help the situation, but that didn’t make it any easier. So she did the only thing she could think of - she tried to reach out with her bending. Only this time Toph couldn’t feel her bending and she couldn’t see. This is what caused the young girl to panic. So she did the only other logical thing to do. She called out for Zuko and she called out for Katara.

“Zuko! Zuko! I can’t see anything! I can’t see!” She screamed as she felt something cold drip onto her cheeks. Toph seldom cared if she couldn’t breathe, but if she couldn’t see she was vulnerable. And Toph Bei Fong does not like feeling vulnerable.

"Katara! Katara, help me! It hurts!" 

All across the temple, the occupants felt their bodies seize up and when the benders reached out for their abilities found that they couldn’t grasp their chi. They all felt the temperature drop even more than it did this high in the air and wondered what could be going on. Was the air doing this to them? None of them knew. But all of them began screaming for help. They began screaming for Katara.

-

Hakoda had seen and felt a great deal in his life. Friendship and loss were the two main themes in most of those instances. But nothing in his life could have prepared him for this feeling or for what he was seeing. Across the campfire where he had decided to stay to watch over his children and their friends, he saw his daughter’s body shake. He had only ever seen this once before. The night two weeks after Kya had died, and Katara finally understood that death was a permanent thing and that her mother wasn’t coming back. 

He felt a pang in his chest as he remembered his wife’s eyes, and an even more painful pang as he felt his heart seize as he saw Katara shake her head and roll around her makeshift bed.

“Stop. Please.” He heard her beg.

Hakoda didn’t have an explanation for what was going on but he was going to get to his daughter. It was his responsibility to comfort her. A responsibility that he hasn’t done well in the recent few years. But as he tried to get up he found that he couldn’t move. He saw the telltale signs of his son waking up along with the rest of the group members who had been sleeping in the courtyard.

Then he heard the yells. The screams of adults and children alike calling out for help. One that reminded him of the way Katara had yelled for him to come help her mother when the strange man was in their home. Then he heard them scream for help again, but not for the Avatar’s help, no, they screamed for his daughter. They screamed for her aid as if she was the only one who could provide it.

-

Sokka woke with a jolt. Even in his sleep, Sokka had prioritized being as alert as possible in case of an emergency. And this current situation was most definitely an emergency.

As he tried to move his arm to rub the sleep out of his eyes he felt his arm act against his wishes. Then he felt his blood and his heart seizing. But Sokka didn’t panic. No. Sokka doesn’t panic because Sokka is the dumbest genius there is, but also because he knew panicking wouldn’t do anything. Or at least this is what he told himself.

“Stop. Please.” He heard someone say in a childlike voice.

One he hadn’t heard used since that voice told him to look away and to stay out of the family’s hut all of those years ago. Katara. He hadn’t heard Katara use that voice since their mother died in their homeland of ice and snow and if his heart could have seized anymore than it did it would have.

He moved his eyes to his sister, then to his father and the rest of the people in the courtyard, then back to his sister. Then he heard them.

He heard the screams. The ones that sounded so familiar to Katara’s scream when she had found their mother's body, but with so much more fear. He heard them all calling out for help, and he felt the need to go help. To do something about this situation. But he was just the man with the plan, boomerang man. He couldn’t fix this situation. Then he heard it - he heard people calling out for his sister. 

“Katara!” they screamed.

“Katara! Help me, please! It hurts!” He heard them proclaim.

He found tears began to pool in his eyes and the distinct feeling of anger that he quickly pushed down. They were screaming for his sister’s help when she was the one suffering. When she was the one trapped in her head. The one who was going to look at all of them with such remorse and plead for their forgiveness.

And that’s when it came to him. Sokka realized that he could fix this situation. Because the person Katara had trained herself to wake up for when they called for her help was him. When they were still children. When he would thrash and call out for their mother but instead was woken up by his sister’s blue eyes and her warmth. Along with her whispering that he was okay and that she was there.

When Sokka would wake with a start, Katara would soon wake up after him to usher in feelings of peace and comfort. Sokka knew what he had to do.

He cleared his throat.

“Katara.” He let out hoarsely.

He felt Suki awake next to him and knew that she couldn’t move much like the rest of his friends and family throughout the Western Air Temple. He could hear Toph screaming for Zuko and then screaming for Katara over and over again.

“KATARA!” The voices got louder and he heard his sister let out a telltale whimper as more tears fell from her face.

He would have to be louder.

“KATARA!” He screamed and all of a sudden everything stopped as his sister shot up. Wild blue eyes met his, causing him to tremble. How hadn’t he realized that his sister - his little sister wasn’t okay?

Katara looked around and the group and heard the faint cries of her name and began to hyperventilate. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She repeated over and over again.

Before he could even tell her that it was okay, Katara got up and swiftly ran away.

Sokka sighed and slowly allowed the feeling to come back to his body. Closing his eyes he made a checklist of the things he had to do, it would be a long while before he was able to get back to sleep.

But first things first. 

“Toph. Can you see now?” He questioned.

“Yeah Prince Snoozles, I can see. Her heart rate is accelerated. She’s probably headed to the waterfall.” Toph replied.

Aang, who Sokka knew was harboring deep feelings for his sister, jumped off of Appa’s leg, and made an effort to go after Katara.

“Aang,” Sokka started quietly, “leave her be. She needs some time alone right now. You going to interrogate her will only make her feel worse.” Sokka made eye contact with his father. Then he diverted his eyes to a particular firebender who he knew also had feelings for his sister.

“Zuko. How long do we have until daybreak?”

“Two hours at most. Why? What do you have in mind?” Zuko questioned Sokka.

“Send Uncle after her will you? I have a feeling Katara is going to need a therapy session with the wisest old man I know, along with a nice cup of jasmine tea.” Sokka’s statement left no room for argument and no one tried to either.

Sokka may be their friend, but he would always be Katara’s brother first and his loyalty lies with her before anything else.

Sokka shared a look with Suki and let out a deep breath. “Do you mind taking control of organizing chores? I don’t want Katara to have to worry when she gets back.” Suki cupped Sokka’s cheek and nodded.

Yes. A long day was certainly ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was chapter 2, we love a supportive older brother folks. I feel like nobody would question Sokka's decision in this matter because Sokka has been by Katara's side for years and knows her far better than anyone else. That includes DILF daddy Hakoda. But family times are coming. Leave a kudos if you dare, and by all means, comment like a drunk person in a club I want to know your thoughts.
> 
> xoxo


	3. Shadow Self

Hakoda had wanted to feel hurt. But deep down he knew that there would be ample opportunities to talk to his daughter. A conversation that would likely have to include Sokka as well. He wanted to know what Katara was going through but he had an inkling that she didn’t quite understand the circumstances either. His chest aches. 

His children had been consumed by the war as children and were spat out as two warriors - one of the blade and one of the depths of the sea. 

But he had seen that look in Katara’s eyes and he knew that if his mother had been here she would draw comparisons between father and daughter. He had that same look following the weeks after Kya’s death when his children weren't in his line of sight and when learning about the casualties of his men during the war effort.

Hakoda was trying to find Iroh but so far was failing in his search. Then again Hakoda wasn’t paying much attention as he was too caught up in wondering what he could say to comfort his daughter.

“Aang puts her on a pedestal that is too high and when she deviates from how he views her he is quick to pass judgment. She’s so powerful, Uncle. Powerful in ways beyond her bending and right now she needs someone who will encourage her in understanding her abilities.” Hakoda heard Zuko say.

Admiration for the young man filled Hakoda at the way Zuko spoke about his daughter. Anybody within hearing distance would know that Zuko harbored some feelings for Katara. The intention behind those feelings and knowing the full scope of those feelings was yet to be determined. But Hakoda recognized the gentleness in the way Zuko emphasized the word she.

Hakoda had only seen Katara in action as a master waterbender a handful of times. But he knew from the way the rest of the people spoke about Katara that she had a strong connection to her element. One of the strongest to ever exist. Hakoda had often wondered why the Spirits had decided to give him a daughter with the power of the seas and how his little girl was responsible for not only awakening the Avatar from a century-long sleep but also stealing his soul back from the jaws of death. Hakoda’s only wish was that her mother could have seen her grow up, and wished that he had stayed just a little longer for his daughter to know that he loved her. More than the number of stars in the sky and more than the depths of the oceans.

Hakoda decided now was a likely time to interrupt the conversation between Uncle and nephew and coughed into his fist.

“I hope my presence doesn’t make you feel the need to change subjects. But I have heard that Iroh gives good advice and have found myself in need of some. I am not too proud of a man to admit that I need some help.”

Iroh clapped his hands together and urged Hakoda to sit.

“Chieftain Hakoda, please join us, Zuko was just telling me about Sokka’s request that I talk to Katara regarding this morning's events.”

Despite the delicate nature of discussing the events of the early hours of the morning Hakoda laughed. “Truthfully, I don’t think my son was requesting but rather being a bit demanding.”

Iroh nodded his head solemnly. 

“From what my nephew has told me about your children and from my interactions with them they are incredibly close. It is only natural for Prince Sokka to worry about his sister’s well being. Even a Princess needs to cry sometimes.”

Hakoda felt a twinge of pride at his children being referred to by their dignified titles that were often overlooked due to the nature of the current events.

He looked over to Zuko to garner what was going on in his head.

“What did you mean when you were talking about Aang?” Hakoda questioned and saw Zuko visibly stiffen and shot his Uncle a fleeting glance.

The young man looked like he was going to deny having ever mentioned the Avatar but deflated at the last second. Meanwhile, both Hakoda and Iroh waited patiently for Zuko to collect his thoughts.

“Katara is a remarkable woman and her view of the world isn’t reliant on the old ways the world worked. But Aang…” Zuko trailed off.

“Aang is still stuck on what the world used to be instead of how the world is now. And in that confusion, he has put everyone in separate categories. The majority of us fall into categories that are testaments of our ideologies and abilities. The only person he doesn’t do this for is Katara.” Zuko met the piercing gaze of the Water Tribe Chieftain. 

“He has this notion - albeit a ridiculous notion - that Katara is perfect. And in doing so he doesn’t leave her any room to make mistakes or deal with her anger, her rage, or her bitterness. All of which are there but that he chooses to ignore. And a part of me hates him for it.” Zuko finished.

Hakoda regarded Zuko for his observations on the dynamic between the Avatar and the rest of the group and found that he had no rebuttals against the Prince's words.

Hakoda sat silently for a minute ruminating how to change the discussion back onto the topic that needed to be addressed. Looking back at Iroh he decided to continue the previous conversation.

“Yes. Since their mother’s death, Sokka and Katara have been rather close. Even when they don’t agree with one another they never turn their back on one another.”

Iroh and Zuko waited for Hakoda to finish.

“Sokka knows Katara far better than I know either of them, none of which is their fault. For generations, my Tribe has not had a waterbender born to us, and then Katara was born.” His voice just slightly above a whisper in admiration of his prodigious daughter.

“Years ago the raids had stolen all of our waterbenders and with them our scrolls and knowledge of their teachings and bending style. So I never got the opportunity to understand how important Katara’s bending is to her. Since leaving home she has become one of the greatest waterbenders to date and I don’t know what exactly this means about her connection with her abilities. But what I do know is what happened this morning scared her, and I don’t like that. I may not be able to protect her from her abilities but I can make sure she feels loved.” Hakoda stated firmly with a clenched fist by his side.

Iroh stroked his beard and contemplated what the Chieftain had said.

Iroh had been quiet for quite a while and for a moment Hakoda wondered if the retired General would ever give his input.

“I am not entirely sure of the nature of what occurred this morning, but I know that it has shaken all of the occupants here. Even the trees seem wary. I will talk with Katara to ensure that she knows that she is not going to be judged for what happened. I imagine she must be even more frightened by what took place. But Chieftain, I advise that you and your son be ready to speak with her after we have our heart to heart.” Iroh said at last.

Hakoda nodded his head in agreeance and set off to find Sokka. But before he was out of hearing range he heard Zuko say, “She truly is magnificent Uncle, I only hope that she will see that.”

Not that he would admit it aloud, but out of all of the young suitors gunning after his daughter's affections, Hakoda was rooting for Zuko. And had the strange inclination that he wasn’t the only one who was.

-

When Zuko had awoken this morning to Toph’s cries for help he wasn’t sure what to think or what to do. But what he did know is that upon trying to get up to reach Toph he couldn’t move. Meaning he couldn’t get to Toph to reassure her. Then she had started screaming out for Katara. Yes, Katara would know what to do. Zuko’s eyes wildly searched for the waterbender and he felt his heart stop when he finally found her. She was thrashing in her sleep pleading for someone to stop.

Zuko was suddenly hit with the memory of the infamous Agni Kai stage and a roaring crowd. With his father leering over his body and taunting, “You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.” He remembers the voice of his 13-year old self pleading with his father and saying that he was his loyal son over and over again. Then the distinct feeling of a burning palm with the power of Agni being pressed against the left side of his face. If Zuko’s body could flinch at the moment it definitely would have.

He heard more screaming, more shouts for Katara. He recognized that no one had called out for the boy Avatar, no one called out for the would-be savior of the world. Instead, they called out for a girl who despite being born in a land of ice was far warmer than an evening fire. They called out for a girl who they deemed their protector.

Zuko hadn’t realized how cold it had gotten. But from his deductions, this type of cold wasn’t due to the high altitude. Looking at Katara he could see that the air around her had begun to crystalize. Zuko was conflicted between being terrified of the fact that he had no control over his limbs, while also being in complete awe of the woman who had every reason to hate him. One that he found himself longing to prove himself to, one he wanted to serve on hand and foot.

Zuko heard the screams of adults and children alike echoing across the Western Air Temple, but none of them could beat the urgency that was in Sokka’s scream. And no sooner did he call out for Katara the second time the world stopped on its axis as she shot up. The frigid cold had disappeared almost instantaneously and he realized the feeling in his limbs was coming back.

He saw that her lips had moved to repetitively form the words “I’m sorry.” Sorry for what, Zuko wasn’t quite sure and that irritated him to no end. Then as quickly as she had woken up she dashed away from the courtyard leaving the rest of them to deal with the aftermath.

Zuko crawled his way over to Toph first. She had called out to him repetitively while also calling out for Katara. The young girl had become like a little sister to him, one he wondered if their lives had been different, would be replaced with his actual little sister.

“Toph,” he spoke gently, “are you hurt?”

She shook her head, “I’m alright now, but Sugar Queen isn’t.” From her tone of voice and the slight inflection, Zuko knew Toph was a lot more worried than she looked. He desperately wanted to ask Toph what happened just those few minutes ago but he had a feeling that she didn’t know either.

He glanced up and saw that Sokka and the rest of the group were making their way over to him, and grabbed Toph’s arm to help her stand up.

As Zuko half-listened to what Sokka was saying his thoughts circled back around to Katara. But his ears had picked up when Sokka had all but told Aang that he ought not to follow Katara. As well as Sokka telling him that Uncle would need to be ready to give Katara a therapy session. He had the feeling that today was going to be as enlightening as it was long.

He made his way to his Uncle’s room and on the way watched as Hakoda, Sokka, and Suki had begun to knock on doors and see if everyone was alright. And when they would ask what happened and why Katara hadn’t been the one to come comfort them he felt the tension in the air pick up.

Something had happened to Katara after their fight in Ba Sing Se and it wasn’t only the death of the Avatar. Finally getting to his Uncle’s room, he knocked and was quickly ushered into the room. 

“My nephew are you alright? When I heard the screams I tried to get up to see if I could help but I couldn’t move. I heard everyone calling out for the Princess and decided to call out for her too. I assumed that this must have happened before and that she was the only person who could fix it.” Iroh spoke in a rushed tone as if he hadn’t fully caught his breath yet.

“Uncle, it was Katara,” Zuko said hesitantly.

“I don’t know how I know that but she was the only one that seemed to be able to move, and in her sleep, the air around her turned frigid.” Zuko continued explaining the situation to his Uncle.

If Iroh was shocked he didn’t let his nephew see, but half-way through Zuko’s more in-depth retelling of the events of the morning Iroh had made them a pot of tea. When Zuko had finished Iroh had still not said a word but they both watched as the sun began to make its appearance. Zuko then watched his Uncle sit up straight and began to meditate.

“Uncle…” Zuko trailed off but was met with no response. So Zuko followed his Uncle’s example and began his morning meditation. But found that he was still distracted by the enigma that was Katara.

Long after the morning mediation was over Zuko and Iroh both sat quietly gazing at the sun. Zuko was trying to organize his thoughts when he impulsively let out, “Uncle you need to help Katara in any way she sees fit.” He wasn’t entirely sure what prompted him to say the words aloud but he knew he wasn’t going to take them back even if he could.

Iroh raised his brow humorously. As if he knew something about his nephew that Zuko did not know about himself. Zuko blushed furiously and the rest of his face matched the redness of his scar. Zuko’s shoulders touched his ears as if he could somehow channel the energy of a particularly short blind earthbender and drop himself into the core of the Earth. Then Zuko let out a sigh, there was no point in denying his Uncle what he wanted to know.

“I care about her,” Zuko whispered, “probably more than I should, given how much she despises me.”

Iroh looked at his nephew’s posture and heard the honesty in his voice. The clear admiration Zuko had for Katara was beyond words.

“What do you think of the Avatar’s feelings for her?” Iroh prodded.

Zuko let out a huff and clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

“Aang’s crush on Katara is just that. A child dreaming of obtaining something that could never be. He keeps Katara at a distance and doesn’t allow her room to make mistakes. She certainly deserves better.” Zuko said without taking a breath, and it would have appeared that he had finished his say on the matter. However, no more than a minute later he began again seemingly more agitated than before.

“Aang puts her on a pedestal that is too high and when she deviates from how he views her he is quick to pass judgment. She’s so powerful, Uncle. Powerful in ways beyond her bending and right now she needs someone who will encourage her in understanding her abilities.” Zuko let out a shaky breath.

“This may be the only help she allows herself to get Uncle and I want her to get it,” Zuko said before he heard a cough coming from behind him. He turned around and met the stare of Hakoda. Chieftain Hakoda he clarifies in his head.

Zuko has internally beaten himself up for all the times he had referred to both the Water Tribe siblings as peasants when they had more claim to royalty than either he or his Uncle had as traitors to the throne. As the discussion continues Zuko has a newfound respect for the man with piercing blue eyes. He was observant and he seemed to pick up on the things that Zuko didn’t voice when he included himself in the conversation.

Zuko wished that his father had been more like Hakoda. More accepting and compassionate, going the extra mile to make himself a better man and a better father for his children.

When Hakoda asked him about what he meant regarding Aang he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his throat. He felt more nervous bringing up or even mentioning Katara’s name in any way shape or form in front of her father. He didn’t want to make it obvious that he harbored feelings for Katara that went way beyond wanting to hold her hand but he got the impression that the sweat that collected at his brow and his flushed cheeks when he said Katara’s name was indication enough.

After the conversation was deemed over Zuko began making his way around the temple to check in on the occupants. He missed seeing Katara float around taking care of everything and everyone, although he did wish that everyone helped out a bit more. Suki had designated tasks to different people occupying the temple and given that Katara was nowhere to be found everyone quickly fell into line. He did hear a few whispered things asking about Katara’s whereabouts and the event of this morning.

Even thinking about it made Zuko’s heart seize up. The Duke had come up with a rather interesting story painting Katara as the dashing young heroine who is currently chasing down the person who attacked them. It was generally accepted by everyone except everyone who had slept in the courtyard, his Uncle, and Jet. Zuko wasn't sure what Jet knew, but Jet obviously knew more than he was letting on. Jet had made no efforts to correct The Duke and smiled whenever the young boy gestured for him to help narrate the story of Katara freezing the assailant in rather uncomfortable positions.

Not paying attention to where his feet were carrying him Zuko found his way to where Sokka was hiding. Sokka had bags under his eyes as if the past few hours had drained all of the life he had yet to live from him. But his eyes were alive and full of worry. His hand was clutched in Suki’s and by the whitening of his knuckles, he was trying to stay calm. If Zuko didn’t know any better he would have failed to recognize the telltale signs of grief and guilt in Sokka’s eyes.

“I can’t find her. What type of brother am I, if I can’t find my sister. I need her. I need to know she’s safe.” Sokka rambled on.

Zuko’s heart lurched at everything Sokka had just said. What did he mean when he said he couldn’t find Katara, she couldn’t possibly just disappear.

Not everything we experience is deemed possible yet it still happens, a voice that sounds a little too much like his Uncle rings in his head.

Zuko had a new mission now. It was called Operation Stealth Mode or OSM for short. Yeah, he wasn’t going to tell anybody that name, he might just get kicked out of the group.

-

If Sokka thought he couldn’t breathe earlier he certainly couldn’t breathe at all now. Katara was missing. He had scoured the entirety of the temple, he had gone down to the cliffs closer to the surrounding ocean, he had gone to the waterfall and Katara was nowhere to be found. His panic hadn’t fully set in until he asked Toph to try to sense her and Toph had come up blank. 

Surprisingly he wasn’t irritated with the earthbender. He could tell by the quiver in her voice that she was just as worried about Katara as all their other friends. But Katara was his sister, and he couldn’t accept her coming up missing after what happened. No. He needed to find his sister.

He felt Suki beside him and felt her hand in his, but he couldn’t process anything she was saying to him. Sokka then felt the hairs on his arms stand up as a fountain of warmth made its way over. When Sokka looked up he met the golden hues that belonged to Zuko.

“I can’t find Katara,” Sokka said quietly, but there was no mistaking the desperation in his tone.

“We’ll find her. But we’re going to need a covert team. And my Uncle.”

Suki squeezed his hand and stood up causing both boys to look at her. She shook her head at them and said that she would make the arrangements for Katara’s search party.

It had been decided that Haru and Jet would watch over the children and prepare lunch for everyone. Jet had unsurprisingly suggested that they find someone to distract Aang. His pacifist thought was not going to help Katara. Chit Sang proved his usefulness by agreeing to keep Aang busy and demonstrating some basic firebending moves for him to emulate. That left Toph, Suki, Zuko, Hakoda, Iroh, and himself to go after Katara.

“Where was she headed this morning?” Sokka heard Iroh ask.

“She started heading for the waterfall, but Snoozles took me there earlier and I couldn’t sense any heartbeats other than ours,” Toph replied hastily.

“Then that’s where we need to head first, maybe we can find some clue as to where she went if she did leave the area,” Suki suggested.

Sokka had decided at that moment that he loved Suki far more than he could say. Here he was being emotionally unattainable and unstable and she was taking it all in stride. Truthfully, Suki wore the pants in their relationship and Sokka didn’t hate that. In fact, he actually rather enjoyed the dynamic he had with Suki. There was a steady push and pull between the roles they filled for one another. A perfect balance.

As the group made their way towards the waterfall no one uttered a word. The only sounds that could be heard were the random bouts of laughter in the distance and as they got closer the rushing sound of water could be heard better.

Sokka paused to take a deep breath. They had to find Katara. They had to.

-

Katara knew that her friends would come looking for her, so she had to find a way to hide. The moment she had run from the clearing she had headed straight for the waterfall. She knew Toph would have figured that out the moment she regained control over her bending. But Toph could only sense things when they were on the Earth and that was something Katara was going to take advantage of.

Katara had nose-dived into the pool of water at the bottom of the waterfall and grasped at the water around her. It stroked her skin and told her that she was in control now and that her friends were safe. Katara let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding in and let the tears flow down her face.

None of the times Katara had nightmares had her reaction been so drastic. It left her with a chill that she couldn’t get rid of. One that lingered within her blood and in her bones that no amount of healing water could alter. 

Katara kept swimming towards the actual waterfall. She would have to hide in plain sight or her friends were going to find her. So she ducked under the waterfall and found a small cave that had been eroded over time. Katara wasn’t sure if Toph would be able to find her here and with the looming sense of sleep that was taking over, she wasn’t sure she cared. All she knew at the moment is that the greatest threat her family was up against at the moment was her.

Without being able to help it Katara fell back asleep and prayed to Tui and La that nobody suffered while she slept this time around.

Katara shot up a little while later, echoes of the earlier morning still playing in her head. She remembered the screams of people shouting out her name for help, without realizing that she was the one causing them pain. Her heart hurt even more as she thought of The Duke’s face and how it must have scrunched up in pain. She wondered if Longshot had broken his vows of silence and called out for her help too, and somehow that made her feel worse. She remembers the look on the faces of her friends and family in the courtyard. She wasn’t sure how she would face them and explain how their blood sings a humming sound to her.

She wonders what she had done to cause the Spirits to target her like this. First, they allow my mother to be taken from me. Then, they curse me with this burden. Have I not suffered enough? She wanted to scream at them. Katara had by now run out of tears and was instead left feeling hollow.

That’s when she felt it. The surging flow of blood coming towards her. A group of no more than 6 people stood atop the cliffside closest to the waterfall. She prayed that none of them would jump in the water. But she knew that two of those people were her brother and her father. And if they had been unable to find her - which had obviously been the case - then they would take the risk of jumping into the rushing water if it meant finding her. Katara had already hurt them enough and decided that she would rather greet them instead.

As Katara made her way out from behind the waterfall she heard her brother scream her name over and over again. And she knew that if she didn’t hurry up there was still a likely possibility that Sokka would jump in the water to ensure that it was her and that she was still breathing. 

Katara waved up at them and shot them a pained smile she doubted they could see. She then spun herself around in the water creating a torpedo of water around her to launch her back up to the cliffside. The moment her foot touched Earth she was pulled closer towards the group, and before her brother or her father could even reach her Toph beat them to it. Toph had never been one to give out physical forms of affection past a punch on the arm but right now she was grasping onto Katara as if her life depended on it. Katara would never tell anyone but she could sense the fallen tears from Toph’s eyes joining the water Katara was already drenched in. Katara hugged her back just as tightly.

When Toph finally let go that is when Katara allowed herself to fall into the arms of her brother and father. The present members of the Water Tribe royal family clung to one another. Katara’s face was pressed into her father’s chest as her brother clung to the right side of her body. Hakoda stroked Katara’s head and began pressing kissing to the crown of her head. The family was trembling with unshed tears and unshed words.

Before Katara could even get a word out Sokka beat her to it.

“You’ll never end up like Hama, okay?” Sokka said urgently, looking directly at her.

Katara wasn’t sure how Sokka knew why she ran but she felt some of the pressure that had been weighing on her chest dissipate. 

It wasn’t until then that Katara looked up to acknowledge the other members of the group who had come to find her. She smiled up at Suki and held out a hand for her to join the family’s hug. Suki was family as far as she was concerned. And she gestured her hand for Zuko, Iroh, and Toph to join in. Toph and Iroh slowly made their way into the hug. But Zuko was hesitant.

Katara had known that she hadn’t been all that kind to him since he joined the group, and she knew that if she was in her right mind she would never have encouraged him to join in at this moment. But Katara was grateful that he had come to help find her, and at the moment that was enough. So Katara kept her hand held out to him until he finally joined the hug.

They all sat embracing one another for a few short moments before Toph broke the silence.

“Hama.” Just her name caused Katara to shiver which was noticed by all of the members of the group.

“Hama was the creepy waterbender in Hira’a, right? The one you never talk about?” Toph kept her voice down as if she spoke any louder Katara would run away again.

Katara reminded herself to take deep breaths to keep from hyperventilating but that hadn’t seemed to help. As her heart rate began to pick up she felt a reassuring hand land on her shoulder. Iroh.

“Do you know why we were the ones to come find you?” She shook her head.

“We were picked because we know your heart and we are not here to judge you. You are far from your home and your community that would lift you up at this time. Let us be your community right now. The only trouble we face now is not helping you after all you do for us.” She peered around at the group and saw them all nod their heads in agreement with Iroh’s words.

She held her father’s gaze just a little longer. His opinion was important to her and she didn’t want him to think less of her.

As if knowing her thoughts Hakoda pressed a kiss to her head once again. “Nothing you could do would ever make me think less of you Katara. Like Iroh said we know your heart, and even though I was away for so long you’ll always be my daughter.”

Tears welled up in her eyes and she looked at her brother next. “I won’t tell you what to do Katara, you know that, but right now I’m far more scared for you than of you. Please let us help you for once.” Her brother pleaded.

She detached herself from the arms around her, took a deep breath, and straightened her back. She then expelled all the water from her clothes along with the water that had managed to seep through the clothes of the others when they had hugged her. She stayed silent for a moment longer.

“It’s called bloodbending,” Katara started slowly working her way into explaining her feelings about this particular technique, “and I hate it.” 

“I hate it because Aang told me it was immoral to reach inside of someone and take control of their very essence. I hate that when I contemplate using it to help heal anyone, I hear Hama’s chilling laughter, and I hear Aang’s words over it.”

“I hate the circumstances in which I learned it because I don’t think I’ve ever felt that afraid since the day my mother died. I hate that I was so eager to learn about my heritage from a waterbender from my homeland that I disregarded all of the warning signs.”

Her body began to shake, “But most importantly I hate that I can’t control myself anymore. Everywhere I go now that I know about this technique I hear and feel the blood flow in all of the bodies around me. I hate that my understanding of waterbending has been perverted by this looming darkness. Is that my legacy as the last of the Southern Waterbenders?” Her voice broke and she couldn’t find it in herself to continue.

She closed her eyes and waited for the shoe to drop. She waited for her community to shrivel up around her and die. Instead, Katara was pulled into an even firmer hug than before. She knew from the smell that it was her father, her father despite being a man from the tundra had always been warm. She needed his warmth now. More than she thought she would. But deep down Katara knew that all of the walls she had built upon seeing her mother’s dead body would not vanish. They protected her and there were always going to be moments where she cowered behind their durability. But she still allowed herself to curl up into her father's warmth.

-

Iroh stared at the girl in blue. And he suddenly understood what his nephew was saying about how in regards to Katara's abilities.

He had thought that a large part of Zuko’s statement about the Avatar’s feelings for Katara had been biased due to Zuko’s feelings about Katara but he had been proven wrong. By Katara admitting she hadn’t accepted part of her identity because of the Avatar’s words, Iroh could see what Zuko meant about the pedestal Aang had put Katara on. 

Now Iroh was afraid that if they let the Avatar continue trying to impart his beliefs onto Katara it would slowly kill her. And for the sake of the whole world, he couldn’t allow that to happen. Not as he watches her family embrace her and the look of longing that is prevalent on his nephew’s face.  
No. Iroh wouldn’t allow Aang’s influence to poison Katara’s vision of herself. His old friend had regarded Katara too well for him to allow that. And if Pakku ever found out that his new step-granddaughter had been undermined by the petulant child - as Pakku had dubbed the child Avatar - then there would be nothing stopping him from partaking in drastic measures. It was said that waterbending masters considered their pupils as their own children, and knowing how proud Pakku was of his star student he knew that he would take any offense to Katara personally. But there was something about this entire situation that seemed off to him, the chill in the air his nephew described reminded him of the chill he felt during his enlightenment. When he had come to the cusp of entering the Spirit World.

Iroh had decided to stay quiet. What Katara needed right now was for her present community to follow her lead and do what was best for her. And right now what was best for her was altering her perception about bloodbending. Because Iroh had the sneaking suspicion that it would be a necessary tool sometime in the future.

Iroh had only harbored ill feelings towards a few people after his enlightenment. His father and grandfather, even in death, were among the list, Ozai was the third, Zhao the fourth, and if Aang kept it up he may just end up as the fifth name.

But Iroh tried not to fault the Avatar. He had been born a long time ago and was not yet accustomed to the way the world works now. This is going to be a lesson for him too. For him to realize that the world is not going to return to the way it was before and that just because he was the hero the public recognized it doesn’t mean he gets the girl at the end.

Iroh secretly hoped that the Spirits had answered his prayers and that the Southern Princess was his nephew's counterpart. That should they be together they can implement a new era of peace, an era of balance.

The shadows of Katara’s personality were coming into play and the more prevalent they became the more Iroh drew the similarities. Era of peace and balance seemed even more of a possibiity.

-

Azula considered going against her word. She wanted to go back to the Boiling Rock prison and show Mai that she should fear her more. To taunt her and tell her that if her brother had loved Mai the way Mai claimed she loved him that he would have come back for her by now. But Azula had promised Ty Lee to leave Mai alone.

Mai should consider herself lucky that Ty Lee had been able to talk her out of shooting the miserable girl with lightning, and instead condemn her to a cell. She doesn’t know if it's because of the long-time friendship that they had shared but Ty Lee had made sure Azula agreed to Mai not being harmed while in custody.

Azula couldn’t describe what she felt for Ty Lee. It was no secret that Azula preferred women over men, they made better partners after all. The only concern she had had was that her father wouldn’t approve, but he did not indicate caring at all. She had felt this way for Ty Lee since they were children and had originally thought that they were feelings of jealousy. 

She hadn’t realized that she was in love with Ty Lee until the night of that dreadful party on Ember Island. All those boys leering at Ty Lee had made her want to set the whole house on fire, and show all of those pathetic boys that Ty Lee may not have belonged to her but that if they ever backed her into a corner again that she would burn them to a crisp. 

Azula had waited for Mai and Zuko to go back inside of the house before she had looked at Ty Lee again. Ty Lee with her grey eyes that seemed a bit too wise, her lithe body, and her knowledge of chakras and auras. She hadn’t been expecting Ty Lee to kiss her but she has had no complaints about it happening. Since coming back to the homeland Azula has rather enjoyed Ty Lee’s companionship that soothed over the pain that had come with Mai’s betrayal. 

She had wanted to go after her brother and the Water Tribe brats along with that Kyoshi warrior girl. But after her father had heard what happened he thought it would be best if they let sleeping rabbit-dogs lie. Her father wasn’t afraid of Zuko, and he certainly wasn’t afraid of the pesky little Avatar.

But if her father should ask, Azula would tell him that neither the Avatar nor Zuko were his main concern. Spirits. Even Uncle Iroh wouldn’t be his main concern. No. His main concern should be the waterbender. Azula would never admit to being thoroughly impressed and simultaneously scared of another female fighter, but the girl was definitely a problem. What the girl lacked in technique she made up for it with the allies she kept close, and in that way the girl reminded Azula of herself. But her father hadn’t asked and some secrets were better to be kept safe when they can be used as leverage. 

When Zuko had come back to the Fire Nation Azula had been curious. She had seen him accept Mai’s kisses but he made no real effort to return them or made his feelings known. There was no spark between them. Not that anyone could see one given Mai’s dull nature. But Azula knew things Mai didn’t. Azula had seen the way Zuko had looked at the waterbender in the crystal catacombs under Ba Sing Se. She had seen how he made no moves to attack her directly when they were fighting. Almost as if he was telling her to leave now before she got hurt.

Truthfully, Azula wasn’t surprised when Zuko had defected. No. She was more surprised at how long it took him to defect. She seriously thought he would have gone crawling back to the Avatar - more like the Avatar’s waterbender - and begged for their - her - forgiveness.

Sometimes when Ty Lee is lying beside her fast asleep Azula wonders if her brother is right. Wonders if he is right when he says that while father recognizes that she is powerful he doesn't love her. That she is a weapon for their father to utilize but that he will never truly care about her safety or her happiness. Azula ran her fingers down Ty Lee’s back. She would have time to sort through her treacherous and treasonous feelings later. But right now she was going to enjoy the warmth of the non-bender acrobat beside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The range honey I've got it. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Leave a kudos if you'd like, and go on and comment like a drunk girl hyping you up in a club bathroom. Let me know your thoughts!
> 
> xoxo


	4. Looming Spirits

When Katara was a little girl she learned how to bend. But this bending didn’t involve an element, it was more about her emotions. She learned how to effectively move her emotions out of the way to prioritize others over herself. There was a system she had in place. A system that organized particular circumstances into their categories and acknowledged accordingly. 

Memories she was fond of, present goals and all of the love she had for her friends and family were in opened boxes. Boxes that were stark white in color - pure, just like her affections and compassion for others. But when her friends did something particularly stupid that caused her to become angry those boxes would flash a purplish-blue. When she collected herself after those moments the boxes would go back to its original color. 

There were boxes with all of the things she didn’t like or didn’t want to focus on like the what-ifs of her present goals, or her deep dislike of papaya. Those things went in boxes that shimmered blue. All of these boxes, however, had been placed in proximity where she could get to them quickly. 

There was one box Katara had that she pushed back into the depths of her mind. One that seemed to get bigger and bigger over time. But she never opened it, in fear that it would crush her.

If anyone asked, that box was black. And somehow that black box had begun moving as if it had grown legs and was demanding her to pay attention to it. The box that held all of her rage. All of her anger and bitterness. Katara had no problem tending to the emotions of others in any capacity, and she had no problem dealing with the majority of her emotions. 

But those emotions, the ones that could cause just as much emotional damage as physical was not something she allowed herself to deal with. She was beginning to regret that now.

When Katara had begun to learn about balance under Master Pakku’s guidance she was told that all benders need to be in control of their emotions. To embrace them rather than run from them. Some of the most powerful benders were the ones who knew how to master their emotions and with it their element.

Some of the most dangerous benders were the ones who refused to master their emotions, so much so that those emotions began to fester and eat away at the bender from the inside out. Depleting their chi and leaving nothing but a shell of a person afterward.

She could only imagine the stern look Master Pakku would give her. She knew that what happened this morning would most likely never happen again. It wasn’t in her capacity to do such things. At least not yet anyway. It was her first warning. 

She also isn’t entirely sure that she was the only cause of what had happened. As if there were something else, a much stronger force that was making a demonstration. One that was telling her and her friends to get their act together.

Sure Katara was a powerful bender, but she had her limits. That’s how she knew what had happened was unnatural. As if something else had crawled under her skin and fused their abilities with her own. 

Katara was capable in other ways too. Her little makeshift family relied on her - sometimes a little too much - to do the things that they couldn’t. Basic domestic care was one of those things and while Katara did not want to spend the rest of her life being defined by this she enjoyed the routine. Her encouragement and praise was also something they all relied on. It was Katara’s encouragement that got the earthbenders to break themselves out of their floating prison. Her encouragement was a call to arms for allies of the Avatar. 

The allies Katara had made for herself was invaluable. She knew deep down that without her brother and Toph she may not have found her way out of several situations. Aang was an invaluable ally as well. Above all, it was her drive and determination that made her powerful. Even though sometimes it was plain stubbornness that allowed her to get her way.

These traits of hers would be overlooked by some, most likely the people standing in her way of helping Aang achieve his destiny of returning the world to its natural balance. But they were there nonetheless. 

Katara knew that she was holding herself back by not letting herself heal, but she didn’t want to undergo the process of getting better when there was so much more to do. 

Katara felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. 

Everyone had left her alone for the day so that she could enjoy some time for herself, and looking around the clearing she couldn’t see anything. Katara kept her breathing even and focused on the sound of rushing water. But Katara still couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being watched. As if someone was looming over her. This presence didn’t feel natural and it didn’t give her the same impression that she got when other people were around her. Katara now wished that she had paid more attention when Aang dealt with things regarding the Spirit World.

Katara still felt those unnerving eyes on her and decided now would be a good time to find somebody to stay with her. Preferably Sokka. Yeah, Sokka is who she was going to go find. He would have a perfectly logical explanation as to what she was feeling. She also knew for a fact that if someone was intending to harm her Sokka would always come to her aid and help her in the best way he could. So she got up and went to find Sokka.

From what Katara knew about the Air Nomads she knew that they were spiritually enlightened. In fact, they were often regarded as the gatekeepers of spirituality and the Spirit World itself. Katara wasn’t sure if she thought reminding herself of that information was going to make her feel better or scare her. All she had to do was get to Sokka, explain the situation, and he would come up with a plan. He was the strategist and she wouldn’t put anything past him when it came to formulating a plan.

As Katara made her way through the Western Air Temple she let her thoughts pull her around. They would probably need to leave the temple soon and most likely split up. She had heard Haru and a few of the other occupants talk about a potential prison break and wondered if they had come to the same conclusion she did.

It was risky for them to stay in a place this long as much as she had appreciated not being attacked by the Fire Nation. It was also a bit suspicious that no one had been sent after them. Well except for Combustion Man but that had been before the world knew that Aang was still alive when it had been announced that he died during the battle of Ba Sing Se.

As Katara walked around she still felt eyes following her but she shook away the feeling as she saw Jet and a few of the other former Freedom Fighters. Anytime Jet stared at her she felt unnerved as if he was going to bring up their kiss in the forest all those months ago. She swore to herself that if he ever brought it up, especially now that she had reunited with her father, she would ice him to another tree without hesitation. 

Katara couldn’t help but also feel a bit awkward when she was in the same proximity as him because he made it incredibly obvious that he was still vying for her affection. As if she hadn’t made it clear to him that he stood no chance. 

She had heard him talking with Haru about wanting to have a chance with her back when her brother and Zuko had gone on a “fishing trip.” That was probably the only reason why he brought the topic up. Her brother had threatened Jet several times that if he got too close to Katara he wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him. Even if that meant he sent him flying off of Appa in the middle of the air with no land in sight. While Katara would do what she could to spare Aang’s feelings concerning a relationship with her, she had no qualms against letting Jet know where he stood.

She wasn’t sure he got the picture the first time but when he had tried to hold her hand when they were walking to their rooms that one time, she had frozen him to the wall adjacent to his room. Even though she had said she had no words to explain her irritation towards his behavior, she still proceeded to yell at him for an hour. 

When she had felt that she sufficiently put the fear of Kuruk the Hunter into him did she head to her room. She had heard him ask her to unfreeze him but continued walking to her room down the hall. She knew that either Smellerbee or Longshot would hack him out of the ice and that Smellerbee would tell him he was being stupid and Longshot would just nonverbally agree with her. 

As she walked past the group in the courtyard she smelled burning meat and a harried discussion of several people arguing over one another. Katara couldn’t help but laugh to herself. She appreciated her friends’ efforts in doing things by themselves today but honestly, they were hopeless sometimes. She made her way into the kitchen and leaned up against the door at the sight in front of her. 

Sokka stood in front of the pot that was currently on fire with their father and Zuko on either side of him. While Aang was screaming at Sokka and Suki was trying to calm him down.

“YOU’RE BEING SELFISH! AIR NOMADS DIDN’T EAT MEAT AND THEY WOULDN’T HAVE ALLOWED YOU TO COOK YOUR MEAT IN THEIR KITCHENS!” Aang yelled at Sokka.

Katara had come to that conclusion when they first came to the temple and had decided to cook outside in the main courtyard where the smell of meat being cooked wouldn’t be as concentrated within the temple itself. Apparently, Sokka had not done the same. During this entire interaction, Sokka has a hand on his hip, while Toph is picking at the dirt between her toes in a corner. Iroh sat next to her with a Pai Sho board and a pot of tea in front of him. But he made no effort to mitigate the situation.

“Aang this is a kitchen,” Sokka said dumbly. She saw everyone stifle a laugh while Aang flashed Fire Nation red. Katara decided it was time to cut in before Sokka bopped Aang upside the head and continued cooking.

“I would say it smelled delicious in here, but it is quite obvious that the food is burning,” Katara interjected. Sokka let out a muffled scream and rushed to stir the food to prevent it from sticking to the pot. A smile broke out onto her face as she watched Sokka act as if he was a chef in the Fire Nation royal palace. He made dramatic movements with his arms when sprinkling in seasoning and muttering to himself.

“Hi Katara, are you feeling better? I would have come to check on you earlier but Sokka said that I should leave you alone for a few moments. And then Chit Sang…”

Aang’s voice faded into the background as Katara just nodded her head along to what he was saying. She didn’t have the heart to interrupt him but she also didn’t have the emotional capacity at the moment to tend to him. Her father must have seen that because he moved to Aang’s side and asked Aang what he would like to have for lunch.

“Oh, I’m not sure, I usually just eat whatever meal Katara cooks for me,” he beamed.

Before Hakoda could respond, Teo and The Duke had come by the kitchen asking Aang if he would come and play with them. Aang smiled apologetically to Katara and ran off to join them. Sometimes it was hard to remember that Aang was still a kid, and at 16 he needed some time to enjoy just being a kid without the weight of being the Avatar.

Zuko looked as if he was going to go chase after him but Sokka let out a huff.

“Finally, I was beginning to wonder when he was going to leave. It’s not like he ever helps with anything around here.”

No one refuted Sokka’s words.

“Do you want me to make lunch instead?”

Katara heard several voices tell her no.

“I don’t know about all of you but I want something edible. Sugar Queen is in charge of cooking because Sokka will most definitely poison us.”

“I would have you know…”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever Snoozles, you’re great at everything.”

Sokka threw his hands up in the air and struck a pose that would have made their grandmother proud. Not that it mattered because Toph couldn’t see the face he was making.

“I’ll cook so long as someone stays and keeps me company.”

Sokka then turned to give her the same look that had been directed towards Toph just moments ago. But Katara just made her way over to her brother.

Zuko as if he had just been struck by lightning had speedily moved away from the family of water and headed over towards his uncle.

She was glad he knew that despite what occurred earlier she still did not like him. As she fell into her routine of preparing the meal for her friends and they stayed to keep her company, she had completely forgotten what she came to talk to them about. But she could still feel a prickling sensation at the back of her neck. 

“It’s just the wind,” she told herself “It’s just the wind.”

* * *

Days had passed and Zuko had been feeling restless with nothing to do but teach Aang firebending. So after lunch, Zuko and his uncle had arranged for him to learn some new sets of firebending. While he appreciated everything he learned from the Masters, he missed his uncle’s firebending lessons when he was on the Fire Nation vessel.

Zuko created a little checklist of things he wanted to learn. On the top of that list was bending lightning. He knew he had tried it before when they were in that desert village, but a part of him had still been clinging to going back to the way things were before his banishment. He was a different person now.

During that first lesson, uncle had told him that he had to have a clear mind to bend lightning. A part of Zuko wondered if that was true. What if he gained the ability to bend lightning, lost his mind, but was still clear in his goals? Would that mean he was still able to procure lightning or would he be able to taste the electrical charges in the air but be unable to generate it?

Zuko was nervous, to say the least. He knew deep down that when it came to it, he would eventually have to face his sister. There was a small part of him wanted to be able to prove something to her, that she too could be a strong and capable bender without following Sozin’s style. That she didn’t have to submit to the will of their father to be seen for what she was. 

Azula was as ruthless as she was cunning, but she was still his little sister. Every time he thought about having to face his sister he thought about those days by the turtleduck pond. Those days before their father knew that Azula was a firebender. Those days before Azula’s steady ombre red flames turned blue and white.

His uncle could tell he was lost in his thoughts and called out for him.

“Zuko. How much do you remember of what I first told you about bending lightning?”

“It’s about separating the positive and negative charges in the air. And that in order to do so, I must have a clear mind.”

Iroh nodded.

“Good. Now let’s see if you can put that into practice.”

Iroh was seated on a bench not too far away from where Zuko had placed himself to start generating lightning. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Katara approach his uncle as if she was going to sit and watch him practice. Zuko feels even more nervous than before. He knew that she still didn’t like him despite all of his efforts to help around camp, but by the Spirits, he was still trying to impress her.

He cleared his mind as much as he could and thought about the form he needed to get into. For the first few moments, he just did the movements without separating the charges. He really didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of her and think he was incompetent. He felt her eyes watching him steadily and knew that if he waited any longer he wouldn’t be able to focus.

Taking a deep breath Zuko did the movements again only this time successfully separating the charges. Eyes wide open Zuko saw the light blue coloring of electricity grace his fingertips, he was so happy he could cry. 

To avoid any harm to anyone else Zuko directed the current upwards into the clouds. Zuko didn’t even have to look over to his uncle to know that Iroh’s eyes would show him nothing but pride and happiness. His eyes met his uncle’s and he felt the familiar warmth of his uncle’s loving gaze throughout his body. When he looked over to Katara he noticed she had a small smile on her face.

Zuko looked away quickly and blushed. He didn’t want her to catch him staring at her despite his desire to do so. She unnerved him sometimes with her steely blue gaze while there are moments where he just wants to swim within the pools that are her eyes.

For the remainder of the week, Zuko focused on being able to generate lightning. Afterward, he always walked around with a feeling of satisfaction that not even Jet with his quips could take away from him.

However, despite not liking Jet, the general consensus of the group was that he was a valuable ally and they wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to him. With the exception of Sokka, who was almost always ready to hurl the Earth Kingdom boy off the side of the temple. Sokka had yet to tell him why he disliked Jet so much but had an inclination that a part of it concerned Katara.

So Zuko minded his business. But was ready to assist Sokka in throwing Jet off the temple without asking questions.

Zuko was quite fond of Longshot and the boy who referred to himself as The Duke. Chit Sang had taken up acting as a parent to some of the younger ones around camp. He along with Suki could be found teaching some of the others some hand-to-hand combat skills. Whenever they corrected the stances of their pupils it was never harsh but rather firm and gentle. Zuko wonders what type of life Chit Sang had before he ended up in the Boiling Rock prison.

As a matter of fact, none of the Boiling Rock escapees knew what Chit Sang was in there for.

“Sokka. What do you think Chit Sang was in prison for?”

“I don’t know, probably insulting some Fire Nation noble idiot.”

“You should ask.”

“No, you should ask.”

“Nuh-uh. You ask.”

The boys continued their bickering until Toph cut in.

“Will you lily-livers shut up already. Sokka you’re easy with making conversation so you do it. Sparky I want dinner, go help Sweetness.”

Neither of the older boys felt like arguing with the earthbender in fear that she would do something to them in their sleep. Just last week Sokka had pushed Toph into one of the fountains after complaining that she smelled, and woke up with missing clumps of hair on the side of his head. Though she denied it, both boys had found stray clumps of hair in a small hole in the ground that hadn’t been there the night before.

Zuko had already gone through a bad hair phase and didn’t feel like going through another any time soon.

Despite Toph’s threatening behavior, Zuko knew that when it came down to it she would give everything she could to protect the people she cared about. And even though he knew that she didn’t need his protection Zuko would always have a small part of him that felt the need to protect Toph. Not in the way where he would lock her up and keep her from the outside world but rather allow her some agency to do what she needed to while being the voice of reason.

He and Katara were similar in that way.

Actually, they were similar in many ways but if he brought it up he knew she would deny it.

There was a part of Zuko that wanted to know Katara but had come to terms with the idea that he may not ever be able to. The first time Katara had tried to let him know her he had betrayed her moments later.

His mind goes back to a cave of glowing crystals that only seemed to make her blue irises shine brighter. How even though they weren’t on the same side he wondered what it would feel like to be cared for by the waterbender.

On days where Zuko felt low, he thought about how cool her hands had felt against his face - on his scar. She had been the only person besides his uncle, he allowed to touch his scar. He hadn’t let Song touch it before she showed him her scar and he hadn’t let Jin or Mai touch it either.

Blocking out the intimacy of the situation Zuko kept on his way to find Katara and tried to figure out what he was going to say to her.

So far his best line was, “Sokka and I were being stupid in Toph’s eyes so she told us what to do.” He hoped that the two of them could find some balance in how they work together. Zuko would be a part of the group until the very end when Aang had to fight his father, so they should try to make peace. It wasn’t for his lack of trying though.

Finally finding Katara kneeling over the pot and starting dinner Zuko made his way over to her.

“Hi, Zuko here.”

He felt the urge to slap himself as she turned around to face him.

“Toph told me to come over here because Sokka and I were being dumb. She said I had to help you with dinner because she was hungry.”

Good. Explain the situation so she knows that if it were up to him he would stay away from her like she wanted him to.

Katara stared at him for a moment and then turned back around towards the food. Zuko stood behind her still contemplating whether or not that was his permission to sit next to her and help or an order to leave.

“Well. You aren’t much help standing around are you?”

Fighting back a smile and a reply he planted himself across from her position by the pot. He felt giddy at the fact that she hadn’t water whipped him out of her sight.

Progress. He would consider this progress.

For all his thoughts about how he didn’t deserve her forgiveness, Zuko was persistent, and wouldn’t give up trying to earn it. So for the moment, he was going to keep quiet and help Katara with dinner and hope that someday they could be friends.

* * *

Qin had always thought humankind was foolish. Rightfully so. How could they not see so clearly the ties that connected one person’s soul to another? How could they not see the ramifications of their actions on the balance of the world?

Maybe that was the curse that was mortality. Never knowing what comes next or how it all plays out.

But Qin was becoming increasingly angry at the occupants of the Western Air Temple. How could the Avatar and his friends be so stupid? The Avatar who had willingly given up saving the world for a crush that would not be returned. 

The Water Tribe girl who could see all the young men vying for her attention except for the one that mattered. The child of the White Lotus who did not connect the dots between Qin’s presence and the events that had occurred two weeks prior.

No matter. He would take the situation into his own hands if necessary. But it would have to be soon. They were running out of time to complete their mission.

Qin had never been particularly good at rhyming, but he would need to guide these idiots - soon to be heroes - on their way. For now, he would wait until the right moment. He would wait until the moon and stars revealed themselves to the night sky. 

Over the centuries, Qin had found that possessing the bodies of Water Tribe members and Air Nomads was easiest. Water was the element of change after all and the Air Nomads were always known to be spiritual people. However, despite his attempts at getting through to the Avatar he could not so his next runner up was the girl. 

He had tried this move two weeks ago and the Water Tribe girl had put up a fight. But tonight’s moon would only be half full. He wasn’t a complete monster though, he would wait for his demonstration until after the younger children fell asleep

Qin needed to get his words in order. He was about to pull off his greatest act yet.

* * *

Despite everything going on Aang had felt completely at peace here in the Western Air Temple with his friends. He could almost imagine their future here. Well not everyone’s future, more like his and Katara’s where they rebuilt the Air Temple’s and had a family together.

But in order to get the girl, he would have to win the war. For right now he was going to enjoy the easy camaraderie that came along with enjoying the dinner Katara and Zuko prepared. 

Aang liked his firebending sifu. He really did. He also really liked Iroh’s wisdom about life and felt at peace in the presence of the old General. One thing Aang did not like though is the way Zuko looked at Katara. He had seen that look in Jet’s eyes and in Haru’s. The look of longing that they had in them.

He felt bad for them. Katara was his forever girl and he knew they would be heartbroken when she wouldn’t give them a chance after the war was over. While Aang wasn’t completely sure about Katara’s feelings for him, he knew something was there. Something worth figuring out.

As the moon and the stars became brighter in the rapidly dimming night sky the younger kids began to head off to bed. Chit Sang followed after them in their nightly ritual of him reading them a bedtime story. If Aang had been older and the world wasn’t what it was he thinks he and Chit Sang would have been good friends.

The moon had just started making her appearance through the clouds when Aang saw Katara’s body stiffen and she stopped her conversation. There was no sound save for the crackling of the fire.

Aang looked around and tried to meet someone’s eyes but everyone was focused on Katara. Iroh for all his moments as a jolly old man with an affinity for tea seemed especially concerned.

Aang watched helplessly as Katara’s body shivered and swayed side to side in her seat. She looked like she was dreaming with her eyes wide open. The only difference now was that her normally pure blue eyes were milky as if her sight had been stolen. A smile broke out onto her face and Aang watched as everyone fought off a shiver.

“Hello, Avatar.” 

The voice that came from Katara did not sound like her own. It sounded like a man. The rasp in his voice sounded like he hadn’t had a drink of water in years or had inhaled so much smoke it had damaged his voice.

No one said a word.

“Come now Avatar it is rude not to reply when someone is speaking to you.” Katara tilted her head.

“What do you want.”

“I want you to end this war, just as the other Spirits want you to end this war. But you are wasting time. Sozin’s Comet approaches.”

“I’m doing everything I can to end-”

Katara’s face became a mask of fury as she scowled. “DO NOT LIE! You sit here and waste your time running around and playing games. If the world falls Avatar there will only be darkness.”

“Who are you!”

A smile broke out onto Katara’s face again.

“Why, I am Qin the Possessor. I am Qin the Guide. I am the Father of the Lotus. And I am here to show you the way.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Iroh stiffen and bow his head.

“What do we need to do?”

Qin met no one's gaze directly. 

_On a quest to right the past, one Child of Water and one Child of Fire come together at last._

_Remember the tomb of Oma and Shu, to open your eyes and make a whole of two._

_Child of Earth and Child of Water must unlock the guarded secrets of the spiritual survivors._

_Cast in the darkness you must find, the woman of light hiding inside._

_To the island then you must go, where your spirit will be made as smooth as stone._

Qin then turned to look at Iroh.

_My Child of the Lotus knows what’s in store, go and gather your brethren from their shores, to return to the place where your heart was torn._

“I don’t think she will allow me to take hold much longer. She put up quite the fight the first time. It was difficult enough as it is with a mind as stubborn as hers.”

Closing his stolen eyes, Qin then left Katara’s body and left the rest of them to contemplate his words.

Once more Aang wished that he hadn’t been born the Avatar. That he could live a normal life with the woman he loved.

Hakoda had taken hold of Katara’s arm and debriefed her on what Qin had said. After hearing the first line of Qin’s prophecy so to speak the color drained from her face. Aang watched as she shot a quick glance at Zuko who was speaking in hushed tones with Iroh.

“Should we even trust what that guy said? I mean he just up and decided to take over Katara’s body. That doesn’t sound very helpful to me.” Toph huffed and gave off the appearance of not being rattled. 

But Aang knew his earthbending sifu and could tell that she was worried about Katara. This was the second time within the past two weeks where something has happened to Katara. 

Maybe if Aang had been paying attention more to the Spiritual side of his responsibilities as Avatar he would have figured it out earlier. Instead, he allowed her and the rest of his friends to be easy targets to get at him.

Aang wondered why Qin brought up the tomb of Oma and Shu. Truthfully, the only things he remembered about going through the secret tunnel were the nomads and his almost first kiss with Katara. But to his misfortune when the lights had finally gone out the tunnel was illuminated by the glowing green crystals.

Aang purposefully ignored the other time he had seen glowing green crystals, where it had been Zuko in his place wrapped in Katara’s embrace. Sometimes Aang wondered what really happened down there.

Did Zuko and Katara kiss? Is that why she was so adamant about not forgiving him?

They had been standing rather close. Too close if you asked him, especially considering the fact that they were still enemies at the time.

Zuko must have said something that struck a nerve with Katara’s compassionate side. That was something Aang loved about Katara. He just hoped it wasn’t something Zuko was looking for in a girlfriend, because Katara was _his_ girl.

But after Qin’s words, Aang couldn’t help but feel like the axis of the world had shifted. As if by those words being spoken a part of the balance had been corrected.

It scared Aang. He had already lost so much and he didn’t want to lose Katara.

Would he get the girl in the end or would she be taken away from him by someone else?

After dinner, the group normally joked around but not tonight. Tonight they went straight to sleep with Qin’s words still echoing in their ears repeatedly.

* * *

_Location: Boiling Rock Prison_

_Prisoner Name: Mai, daughter of Governor Ukano of New Ozai_

Deep down Mai knew that Zuko wasn’t going to come for her and she didn’t know whether she felt angry or sad about it. All her life she had been taught to mask her emotions - to be a proper Fire Nation noble and not let anyone know what you were thinking.

She was angry because she did care for Zuko just not in the capacity that he cared for her. Angry that she wasn’t sure if she did care for him romantically or she cared that he had been her ally in their fear of Azula. Even when they had been reunited after Azula took down Ba Sing Se he had felt far away. Resistant to her touches and limited display of public affection.

She was sad that she was going to spend the remainder of her time here in this cell. Her uncle hadn’t been allowed to oversee her booking. Hadn’t been allowed to visit her at all on Azula’s orders. But Mai knew that the loyalty his guards had for him is what kept her having more privileges than the other prisoners. It may also have something to do with Ty Lee as well. For all of Azula’s cruelty, she often listened and bent to the will of Ty Lee’s kindness so long as she got something in return.

She was sad because she knew that while she had been trying to keep Zuko’s attention he had been busy thinking about the waterbender. She didn’t think he knew that she knew. Azula had spared no detail about what had happened in Ba Sing Se. How Zuko avoided directly harming the Water Tribe girl and how he had rounded on the Dai Li agents who he had sent boulders towards her head.

Azula always lied. That was true. But there are moments where she prefers to tell the truth. Those truths only come out if they would hurt you more than a lie would.

Mai hadn’t voiced her fears that she was losing Zuko’s attention to anyone. But Azula was perceptive and had known that Zuko would be pulling away from Mai. Azula had kept quiet with Zuko about his behavior before he returned home to her father. But she ensured that on Ember Island both Ty Lee and Mai knew that if Zuko looked longingly at the water it was because he was thinking about the girl he betrayed. The one with oceans for eyes and smooth brown skin.

Mai doubted that Zuko and his fellow gang of miscreants would succeed in bringing down the Fire Lord. He didn’t know enough information about the Fire Nation’s current standing to be of use providing strategic input. His only insight was that he knew the way his father thought.

For now, Mai would sit in her cell of darkness and she would wait to find out if the world was going to burn with Ozai and Azula right in the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally figured out how to format my writing on here! I had thought that in the show, we would get to see Zuko try to bend lightning again because his mind is clearer and freer than it was before. He knows his destiny and what he wants to do right now, so I truly think he would be able to bend lightning now. Let me know what you think in the comments, also any guesses on the "prophecy"? Thanks for reading!
> 
> xoxo
> 
> For future reference:  
> Aang and Toph - 16, Katara, Azula, Ty Lee - 18, Sokka, Suki, Mai - 19, Zuko, Jet - 20


	5. Mother

The next morning was stale. The air around them was stagnant and the only conversations to be heard were from the younger members of the group who hadn’t witnessed last night's events.

Sokka was worried about Katara. He knew she could handle herself, and that his main focus should be Aang and getting them through this war, but she was his little sister. And for a long time making sure she was physically okay was his responsibility. 

The bags under her eyes and the subtle weight loss she underwent within the past two weeks was especially concerning. 

Did Katara have some connection with the Spirit World that made it easier for them to attack her? Sokka had the same blood flowing in his veins so why didn’t they pick him as their target?

He watched as his sister went through breakfast without making eye contact with anyone. Sokka had a general idea of some of the aspects of the prophecy they had heard last night. The first line had something to do with Katara and Zuko. At first, he had thought it would be about him but he had already gone on a life-changing field trip with Zuko. Katara was the only member of the group who still hadn’t forgiven Zuko.

The line about the Child of Earth and Child of Water most definitely applied to himself, but was it Suki or Toph that was the Child of Earth, Qin had been referring to? 

As members of the breakfast group began to dwindle, Sokka noticed that everyone who had bared witness to Qin’s demonstration remained. Surprisingly, Chit Sang had stayed behind as well.

“We have to talk about last night,” he heard his father say gently and watched as he laid his hand on Katara's arm in a comforting manner. He wondered what was going through his father’s head. Sokka hadn’t felt the need to forgive his father for his absence growing up. He had always had a Warrior’s mentality and knew that sometimes you had to make sacrifices to contribute to the bigger picture. But after watching his sister go through so many low moments during this trip and still keep herself together, he wonders if he should feel angry that his father hadn’t waited a little longer to take care of Katara.

Katara grew up so Sokka could still be a kid. He hadn’t realized that until she had uncovered Aang in that iceberg.

“Katara, do you -”

_“On a quest to right the past, one Child of Water and one Child of Fire come together at last._

_Remember the tomb of Oma and Shu, to open your eyes and make a whole of two._

_Child of Earth and Child of Water must unlock the guarded secrets of the spiritual survivors._

_Cast in darkness you must find, the woman of light hiding inside._

_To the island then you must go, where your spirit will be made as smooth as stone._

_My Child of the Lotus knows what’s in store, go and gather your brethren from their shores, to return to the place where your heart was torn.”_

“So how are we going to do this?”

“We should try to figure it out line by line.”

“Well the first line applies to me and Zuko, so there’s no need trying to figure that one out.”

Sokka had a sneaking suspicion about the manner of the quest as soon as the words had left Qin’s mouth last night. He watched as Katara made eye contact with Zuko. Something unknown passed between them. 

“Alright, we’ll worry about specifics later.” Aang rushed out while looking between the two benders.

“What do you think the second line is about?”

Everyone took a few minutes to contemplate what the possible meaning was behind Qin’s words.

“Oma and Shu were the first Earthbenders, right? And when Shu died instead of succumbing to her pain Oma united the two warring villages to create the city of Omashu.”

“Yeah, but what’s the point of Qin mentioning it?”

“I’m not sure Aang but I think you’re supposed to be the one to figure it out.”

“Why me?”

“Well Twinkle Toes, maybe you can go on some spiritual journey to figure it out. Maybe ask them yourself about their story to fill in the gaps.”

“If Aang does go into the Spirit World, he will need someone to accompany him so that he does not lose his way this time around. As well as asking the right questions. It must be someone who is relentless and uncompromising.”

“So it’s Toph. COOL! We can make it a life-changing field trip.”

“No offense Twinkle Toes but Prince Spice is in charge of the life-changing field trips.”

“I think the third line applies to me and Suki then. But I have no clue what spiritual survivors we are supposed to be worried about.”

“We Air Nomads were always known as spiritual people, maybe Qin wanted you to figure out some part of our history. That is if there is anything left to find.” Aang grumbled that last bit.

“Well, then the fourth line sounds like we have to break someone out of somewhere.” Chit Sang cut in. 

“Does anyone have any ideas what it means about a light?”

“Insight.” Leave it to Zuko to be so concise with how he explains an already confusing prophecy. So Sokka just decided to stare at him until he explained. Zuko must have known what he wanted because he rolled his eyes.

“This person has to be someone who has insight into the Fire Na- its Mai. Mai is the person you have to find. She’s in prison back at Boiling Rock.”

“Why would she be the person we need to find?”

“Mai was one of Azula’s closest friends before she betrayed her and helped us escape Boiling Rock. She would undoubtedly have information that would be of use to ending the war.”

“Then it looks like we are staging that prison break,” Hakoda had interjected looking at Chit Sang, “maybe with her help we can get some of the other Fire Nation citizens to start a rebellion.”

Chit Sang smiled at that, “well seeming as I got thrown into prison for causing an insurrection I can help get that idea off the ground.”

Sokka looked at Zuko again, well at least they finally knew what Chit Sang was at Boiling Rock for. Chit Sang became increasingly more likable as the days passed.

“The island Qin mentioned is Ember Island. I think once we all finish the missions we have to meet back there.” Zuko once again spoke up.

“I don’t think all of us are meeting back up. Whoever helps with the prison break is going to be busy helping start up a rebellion. I think it will probably just be our usual travel companions.” Spirits, Sokka loved how brilliant Suki was. And if his father wasn't there he would kiss her, but there would be time for that later.

“What about that last line?” Now it was everyone’s turn to look at Iroh the way Qin did last night.

“It appears that the Order of the White Lotus must gather and on the day of Sozin’s Comet liberate Ba Sing Se.”

Nobody bothered arguing with Iroh because out of all of them he appeared to be the most collected. If he had interpreted Qin’s words for himself already then Sokka knew Iroh understood what he had to do.

“Meeting adjourned.” As the group began to break up the only ones who stayed behind were Zuko, Aang, Katara, his father, and himself.

“Katara, what did Qin mean about going on a quest to right the past?” Aang questioned.

Sokka loved Aang. He did, but there were moments where Sokka just wanted to strangle him. He knew that Aang was still a kid but he had the tendency to let others deal with his problems and make the sacrifices for him.

Sokka felt a pang in his chest as he remembered Yue’s lifeless body. If Aang had been more focused in his training back in the North Pole and had prepared himself for the battle maybe- no. Aang couldn’t have known about Zhao’s plan. But despite Sokka telling himself that over and over it didn’t make the pain go away.

Sokka knew it wasn’t intentional but Aang was about to dig into another wound. One that had been closed and had healed over time due to Katara’s nurturing. But just because he had healed from his mother’s murder doesn’t mean Katara had.

Sokka closed his hands into fists and tried to push back his memories of that fateful day. He was going to say something but Katara beat him to the punch.

“He meant that I have to go find my mother’s murderer. And now that I know he’s out there somewhere living his life I feel like I have no choice but to find him.”

“But you do have a choice, you can forgive him.”

“I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

Aang looked as if Katara had just sold Appa off to traders. 

“Of course I understand Katara! How do you think I felt when I found out all of my people were gone? How do you think I felt when the sandbenders stole Appa?”

“I never said you didn’t understand loss Aang because I know that you do. I was talking about your reaction. Every time you get angry or lose something you lash out, normally at me, and then you end up either running away or going into the Avatar State. All I want is to find and confront my mother’s murderer, that doesn't mean I was planning on killing him.”

“Katara it was a long time ago, why haven’t you gotten over it?”

“Excuse me?” Sokka hadn’t realized that he had been the one to say those words. But the look in his sister’s eyes encouraged him to push on.

“Let’s backtrack a bit. That man is not deserving of our family’s forgiveness, and neither is he going to get it. He traumatized my sister and if he hadn’t run he would have been struck down by our warriors that same day.”

“Aang this isn’t about you or your ideals. This is about Katara getting the closure she needs. This is about justice.”

“No, it isn’t. I think this is about Katara getting revenge.”

“SO WHAT IF IT IS!” Katara had stood up as she shouted.

“Maybe that’s what I need. Maybe it's what he deserves.” Katara’s voice had taken on an icy edge.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sokka saw Jet make his way into the courtyard.

“Katara you sound just like Jet did back in that forest.” Aang stood up too and Sokka felt as if his body was on autopilot as he also stood up to go stand by his sister. His father and Zuko had also made their way over to Katara. As if they could shield her from Aang’s words.

Katara’s body was trembling.

“How? How do I sound like Jet? Jet had lost his way in doing the right thing and fighting for the freedom of Earth Kingdom citizens. I’m trying to find the man who killed my mother. Our characterization has nothing in common.”

“The monks once said that revenge is like a -”

“I don’t care what they said Aang!” Aang looked taken back at Katara’s words and looked like he was ready to cry. 

“I care that some man broke into my home and killed my mother. I care that I wasn’t fast enough or strong enough to get to her in time. I care that I had to find her burned and bloody body in my home when I was 7! I care that I wasn’t given her necklace but that I had to take it off of her corpse and spend more than a year scrubbing her blood out of it. I care that when I needed her she couldn’t be there!” 

With that Katara stormed out of the courtyard.

“Seriously? What is wrong with you Aang?” Sokka may not have liked Jet but he appreciated him inserting himself into the conversation before Aang could try to follow Katara.

“Katara is nothing like me or how I used to be. You act like just because she wants to do something to get better means she’s going to kill someone. If you cared about her as much as you said you do you wouldn’t question her character.” Jet began to walk away without even waiting for Aang to say a word.

“And since you’re making your feelings known here. The majority of us are on your side because of Katara. Because she gave us hope and faith to believe in you. She deserves more than your half-assed attempts at affection. Maybe you should focus on ending this war rather than tearing her down.”

Okay, Sokka changed his mind. Jet was now one of his best friends. He watched as the Earth Kingdom boy swaggered off into the temple a little faster than usual. No doubt to console Katara. Surprisingly, Sokka didn’t want to go chase him down for that. Despite his insistence that Jet stays away from his sister after Aang just compared her to Jet, he may be the best person to console her.

Sokka wondered if he should say something but was once again cut off by the other member of his family present.

“In the Water Tribes, Katara finding and going after her mother’s killer is justice. She will judge and decide what sentence he deserves for his crime. My wife - “ his father’s voice trembled and broke just a bit, “my wife was my right-hand. Killing a Chieftain’s wife is a highly punishable offense. The only thing Katara would need is my permission for her quest and she has it without a doubt.” His father spoke with authority.

Sokka hoped that one day when he accepted the position to be the next Chief of the Southern Water Tribe that he was as great a man as his father was.

“My sister doesn’t need your permission to do anything Aang. This is her choice, and if she wants to go hunt down the man responsible for her nightmares then I will do whatever it takes so that she can heal.”

Both Water Tribe men took their leave without even looking at the air bender boy. Listening to the sound of footsteps behind him, Sokka knew that Zuko was following him and his father.

They walked in silence and decided that Sokka’s mostly unused room, for the time being, would be a good place to talk. As they got comfortable they waited in silence for one of the others to start a conversation.

“I’m sorry for having to do this, but can you both tell me what you remember from that day? I’ll need whatever you can remember to help Katara find this man.”

Sokka and his father shared a look. It wasn’t a day they spoke about often and it wasn’t one they liked to remember. He saw flashes of his sister at 7 with blood staining her parka. Of her holding his hand and telling him not to go inside their igloo. To stay outside. That everything would be okay with time, but he just had to stay outside.

“First you have to make us a promise.” Sokka once again felt like his body was on autopilot.

“You have to promise that you won’t judge the choices my sister makes during your quest. And just,” Sokka felt the unfamiliar sensation of his voice breaking much like his father’s had earlier, “just make sure she comes back safe and alive.”

“I- I can’t lose my sister too.”

“Katara’s decisions in this are her own, I just want to make sure she stays safe. I promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure she returns safely back to you both.”

Sokka blinked back tears.

“The day had begun like any other, and Katara and I had been enjoying a snowball fight,” Sokka smiled slightly but as soon as it appeared it vanished, “and then the black snow began to fall.”

* * *

Katara wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. She could still feel her body trembling as she recalled Aang’s words.

Did he really think so low of her? All she had said was that she needed to find her mother’s killer, not that she would kill him. She needed to face him - the man who had been a part of the only recurring nightmare Katara had since her mother’s untimely death.

She had retreated to her mostly unused room in the temple and was currently pacing the length of her room. She knew that Aang had only known her for a few months but she thought he would at least know her character by now.

She heard a knock on her door. “Go away Aang, I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“It’s not Aang, it’s me.” _Jet._ Katara had seen the Earth Kingdom boy when she was leaving the courtyard and had briefly caught his first words questioning Aang. So she moved to open her door to let him in and then made her way over to sit on the edge of her bed.

Jet had looked around her room as if he was unsure of what to do next. Katara laughed internally at that. The usually suave boy looked so out of his depth here and it was refreshing to see him lose his train of thought. So she patted the space next to her.

“Did you come here to tell me something or to just stand around?” She knew she was being a bit forward but didn’t have the energy to hold onto her stern demeanor that tended to be reserved for him.

“You know he’s wrong right? You’re nothing like how I used to be or like me in general.” Instead of taking a seat next to her Jet had placed himself on his knees in front of her. He had hesitated a moment before he made a move to grab her hand. It felt different than how he normally grabbed her hand. At this moment he was doing it to comfort her not to make a move. It felt nice. Like she was sharing a moment with a friend.

“And it isn’t wrong of you to want to heal from something you’re still suffering from. You have no idea how much you have helped so many other people heal, it's okay to want that for yourself.” She felt tears prickle at her eyes.

“I know I don’t stand a chance with you Katara. I think there will always be a part of me that cares for you deeply. But, I would rather be your friend and someone you confide in than someone who makes you uncomfortable pressuring you into feeling something you don’t for me.”

He had stood then and sat next to her. Katara turned her head to meet his eyes and felt the tears trickle down her cheeks. “Is there something wrong with me for feeling like I need to do this?” She had heard the cracks in her voice.

She watched as Jet scanned her face and moved his hand to wipe the tears off of her face. “No. Maybe this was the sign you needed to allow yourself to do what you needed to. Just don’t lose yourself in your rage.”

She could do that. Surprisingly, Jet’s words were comforting, and considering the fact that Aang had compared her to Jet, it was nice that he was setting the record straight.

“I should probably go find my father and brother and see what they think about all of this.”

Jet had taken that to be his cue to get out of her room and had begun to make his way to the door. She was only a few steps away from him before he turned back around to face her.

“Katara, I want to say I'm sorry. For all of the moments, I made you uncomfortable and to let you know that it won't happen again. So I hope you can forgive me. In the long-run, do you think there is hope for me? In the future?”

She smiled.

“I think you're going to go on and do great things Jet. And yeah, I forgive you. But learn to calm down will you and be awkward that's okay too.”

Katara thought back to when she first met Jet. He was confident and self-assured and was the first boy aside from her brother she had come in contact with. She wasn't sure if she would call what she felt for him a crush but those feelings were muddied by his character at the time. Compared to now he was a completely different person. He was self-assured in a different kind of way and if she didn't know any better she would say he had gone back to who he was before he lost his way.

At that moment they just stood in front of one another in silence. It wasn't awkward and they didn't feel the need to fill the silence with conversation.

In a Toph-like manner, she punched his shoulder lightly and they made their way out of her room. When they had first met he smelled like kindling for a fire and cider, but now in his present state, he smelled like berries and tea.

“Thank you, Katara. For everything.” And with that, they both headed in separate directions. 

Katara walked two doors down to Sokka’s room and opened the door without knocking. She had whispered a quick and silent prayer in her head on the short way that she wouldn’t find her brother and Suki _entangled_ again and let out a joyous huff when that wasn’t what she saw. Her brother, father, and Zuko were sitting in a circle and had promptly stopped talking as soon as she entered the room.

Katara wasn’t sure why Qin had referenced Zuko’s presence being necessary on her quest for justice, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about her having to be alone with him either. Mostly because she didn’t want to read the emotions in his eyes. Something that Katara had gotten good at after her mother’s murder. It was a skill that kept her loved ones alive and comforted but had left her lonely and with feelings of bitterness that she had kept locked away.

Staring into Zuko’s eyes and seeing the hard set of his jaw she now realized why she didn’t want to read his emotions. Because if she was right about what she saw in them that would make his betrayal in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se all the more heartbreaking.

Without making a sound she went to sit across from him but refused to meet his eyes again.

“What were you guys talking about?”

They stayed silent but had looked back and forth from one another. Katara crossed her arms and looked pointedly at her brother. She had been mothering him for years and he would be the easiest to crack under her glare. He was trying to resist flat out telling her right now and a few more seconds of glaring had gotten him talking.

“We were talking about what happened that day,” he said somberly, “we told Zuko everything we can remember from that day.”

As if knowing the difficulty Sokka was having voicing his words Zuko cut in for him. She didn’t miss the look of appreciation that her brother shot at the Fire Nation Prince. She knew that she couldn’t avoid looking at him forever so met his eyes head-on and watched as he sucked in a breath of air as if she had stolen what was already in his lungs.

“The Southern Raiders. That’s the name of the fleet that attacked your tribe that day. Though I’m not sure why they went after your mother, I do know how to find them. I’m ready to go whenever you are.”

Zuko’s eyes looked like molten gold. It was one of the first things she had noticed about him when they were under Ba Sing Se together and she was painstakingly close to him. The man from her nightmare had darker eyes, ones nearing the color of brown but still had flecks of gold in them. She shook away the thoughts for the time being. As of right now, they needed to work out how they were going to get to where they were going.

The airship was too noticeable and in a mission of stealth would get them knocked out of the sky. The only other option was Appa. However, considering how their conversation with Aang had gone earlier she doubted he would allow them to use Appa for what he considered a “revenge mission.”

“He isn’t going to let us use Appa and you know that.” Katara had said bluntly.

Zuko had stood up and begun pacing amidst their planning. He was currently cupping his chin with his thumb and pointer finger and was deep in thought.

“We get Toph.” If Katara didn’t know any better she would say she didn’t hear the sense of pride in his statement. To the side of her, she heard Sokka slap his forehead.

“Zuko, buddy, you have to explain your thought process. We aren’t mind readers. Or are we?” Now her brother was stroking his chin and looking around the room. Despite the urgency of their planning, Katara appreciated that her brother hadn’t lost his humor, regardless of how terrible it was.

Zuko had gone red and was rubbing the back of his neck.

“I say we tell Toph what happened, and then she’ll beat up Aang until he’s too distracted to realize Appa is gone. Or we tell Toph what happened, and then she’ll beat up Aang until he realizes he was in the wrong and he agrees to let us use Appa.”

“You’re a genius!” Sokka had jumped up and was now doing a horrific little dance.

“Why do both of those options rely on Toph beating Aang up?” Katara was angry about what Aang had said no doubt, but she didn’t want him to get hurt because of it.

“It’s inevitable if we tell her what happened. She’s going to be mad that he is so high on his ostrich-horse that he won’t realize that the world doesn’t revolve around pacifism.” Sokka said pointedly. 

She could tell that her brother was angry with Aang about what he said earlier and felt warmth flood her body with gratitude that she had gotten Sokka as her older brother. She still rolled her eyes and then looked at her father.

“Are you okay with this dad?” Katara didn’t know if she could do this without her father’s approval. She suspected that if he was here he had agreed with Sokka but she had to be sure.

Her father had reached his hand up to cup her cheek and she felt herself lean into it as she closed her eyes.

“You were too young and you should have never had to see any of it. There have been too many times where I still see you clasping onto her, onto her necklace. If this is something you need to do Katara then I support you. There is nothing that you could do that would make you undeserving of my love and forgiveness.”

Katara didn’t have the words to reply to him and lurched forward to be pulled into his embrace. But she was tired of crying and no tears made their way down her face. She just held onto her father’s warmth and felt her brother kneel to be a part of the family group hug.

She knew that Zuko was behind them and for some reason, she wanted to spare him from having to stare at the fractured yet happy family. She wiped the tears off of her father’s face and smiled.

“It’s going to be okay.” And for once, Katara believed herself. The Water Tribe family rose and angled their body to face Zuko.

“So are we going to find and tell Toph now, or are we going to have to wait?”

“I think we should tell her now. Qin had said that we were running out of time so Zuko and I need to leave as soon as possible.” Everyone agreed with her and they made their way through the temple to go find their earthbender friend.

Nearing the library they heard scraping sounds and looked at each other confusingly. Had Momo found a snack and was running around chasing after it? The sound continued to get louder the closer they got and when they peered into the room they found Toph and Iroh with a Pai Sho board in front of them.

Earlier that week Haru had earth bent Pai Sho tiles with engravings instead of their normal pictures so that Toph could learn to play. When Iroh had first tried to teach her the game she had been interested but without being able to see the pictures on the tiles it was hard for her to play. She had as nicely as possible punched Haru in the shoulder as thanks for making her a Pai Sho tileset.

“I’m going to go talk to Chit Sang some more about the potential prison break, you three go on and tell them what happened.” She knew that talking about her mother hadn’t been easy for her father so she didn’t push him to stay and give a repeat about bad memories. She squeezed his hand and felt him squeeze back as he continued on his way to find the Fire Nation citizen.

As Sokka and Zuko made their way into the library, Katara turned to close the door behind her. This talk was going to be for the occupants of this room alone. She also wanted to put as many barriers between Toph and Aang as possible given the nature of this conversation. She knew that there was a likely possibility that Toph would rush out and hit Aang without hearing everything she needed to hear.

She let out a deep breath and prepared herself for the conversation.

Looking up from his game Iroh welcomed them and ushered them to sit in the empty chairs at the table he and Toph were sitting at.

“Do you dunderheads have a reason for interrupting our game?” Despite her words sounding like she was annoyed with them, there was still a hint of curiosity there.

“I need your help Toph.” Katara knew that if she said that there was a possibility that Toph would make a joke. It must have been the tone of voice she used that stopped Toph in her tracks.

“Sugar Queen, why do you sound like that? And what do you need my help with?”

“We need your help convincing Aang to let us use Appa for our … life-changing field trip.” She may not have liked Zuko but she could count on him being quick and to the point.

“Well all Sugar Queen needs to do is bat her eyes at lover boy, and he’ll do whatever she asks. So I’m still confused as to why you need my help.” Her unseeing gaze had turned in what she suspected Toph thought was her direction.

“Because of the reason for the field-trip.” Katara let Sokka take the reins on this discussion and listened quietly while also watching Toph’s face.

As Sokka continued recounting the events after everyone had left their prophecy meeting she saw Toph’s neutral face take on a scowl that hardened with every word she heard. Iroh had only allowed his mask to slip once while listening and had also stayed quiet.

“He really said that?” Though Toph had asked it as a question and in astonishment anybody we knew her could tell that she wasn’t surprised.

Iroh sighed. “With that type of thinking what does he think about facing my brother? Does he think ending the war is wrong if it means killing Ozai to restore balance and peace to the world?”

Those were the questions that had been worrying them for months, and they weren’t sure how to answer Iroh.

“He can’t just talk to you like that Sweetness, he’s wrong for one and it isn’t his decision or place to decide what you do!” Toph was making her anger known.

“Toph it’s okay, I-”

“No, It isn’t okay Katara! Because if anyone else had said that to you we would never hear the end of it. Stop coddling Aang. He was wrong. End of discussion. And now I’m going to go hit him so hard into the mountainside I’ll send him to the Spirit World myself!”

Toph had begun to stomp her way to the door but Katara had swiftly grabbed her arm. There was something Toph wasn’t saying.

“Toph,”’ she said gently, “why are you so upset about this.”

Toph lowered her head.

“Katara you found Aang when he was frozen in that iceberg and you made it your mission to get him to the North Pole, and to help him achieve his destiny. You gave up everything to follow him around the world and risked your life. You have taken care of us for almost a year and the minute you do something that doesn’t fit Aang’s perfect view of you he’s the first one to pick up stones to throw at you? That isn’t right.” Katara didn’t know if Toph realized that she was crying.

“You care about us all and take the time to get to see the real us. You were the first person to do that for me Katara. Not even my own parents have seen that in me, and you made me realize that it is okay to let people take care of you. Sokka told me once that whenever he tries to picture your mom all he sees is your face, and I know you aren’t my mom but you certainly act like a better one to me than my actual mom.” Toph had started wiping the tears off of her face.

“So I won’t just stand here and let Aang talk out of his ass just because you hurt his pacifist feelings. I heard from travelers my parents were hosting all about what happened during the siege of the North Pole. I felt a fraction of Aang’s Avatar State back when Appa was stolen and how he was ready to punish anyone in proximity.” With each word Toph deflated.

“You’re allowed to have moments where you get to rage, you’ve more than earned it. Appa may be Aang’s spirit guide but the woman you lost was your mother, that does not hold the same weight. So I’ll talk to Aang, but I am still beating him up.”

Katara couldn’t help but hug Toph. She had known what Sokka had said about him seeing her face when trying to imaging their mom. But she hadn’t known how much Toph had been affected by Katara’s mothering instincts. A few months ago, Toph wouldn’t have allowed Katara to hug her but right now she was holding onto Katara as if she might disappear.

“Just come back to all of us okay? Don’t lose yourself.” Katara couldn’t bring herself to say it but she promised for her sake, her family’s sake, and Toph’s sake that she wouldn’t lose herself. After all, there was still so much to do.

* * *

Toph may have played it down in that room but she was still furious. Aang was out of line and Toph was determined to make sure he knew that. Katara had played down her feelings too. When she had said that she was okay, she was lying.

Katara had gotten so good at lying to herself when it came to Aang it was sad. But Toph was not going to stand here and allow Aang to be an emotional leech.

As if he knew that his earthbending sifu was looking for him Aang appeared out of nowhere. He didn’t seem to be affected by the argument he was in earlier and that irked her. Oh, so he wanted to play this game? Fine. But Aang should know better. Toph had spent years lying to everyone around her and she was too much like her element.

Grounded and uncompromising. She would win this test of wills in a landslide.

It only took an hour and a half for Aang to break.

“Can you blame me though? Katara and Sokka are wrong. They can’t just let her go and hunt this guy down. This is all Zuko’s fault. He’s a bad influence.” Now Toph had about had it.

“Aang YOU’RE the problem.” Toph couldn’t see his face but she had felt his heartbeat jump to his throat.

“How am I the problem? She’s going down a path that she might not return from, I’m the Ava-”

“Yeah, we all know you’re the Avatar. You throw that fact in everyone’s face when you want them to shut up and agree with you. Newsflash that won’t work on me. You’re the Avatar yet you have made no personal sacrifices in this war, and have run away from your problems time after time. Now is the time to start. Let Zuko and Katara borrow Appa to do what they need to do, let her make her own choices. Zuko isn’t the problem either, he's just seeing Katara for who she is.”

Aang let out a sigh, “This is a lot to think about. I’m going to need some time.”

“I think that’s enough earthbending practice for today anyway.”

Toph hadn’t meant to hurt Aang’s feelings but this was necessary. She’d have to apologize to Princess Sweetness later, it was tough being the responsible one and reasoning with people with child mentalities.

Toph wasn’t sure what choice Aang would make, but regardless of what he wanted Zuko and Katara needed to go on that trip. And she would do what was necessary to ensure that Katara got her closure, even if that meant she had to face Aang’s wrath.

* * *

Azula was growing increasingly agitated with everyone around her. She missed Ty Lee who had taken a trip to visit her family before Azula had gotten orders from her father to quell a revolt in Hira’a.

The name of the town had sounded familiar but she couldn’t place where she heard it from. Upon her arrival, Azula could smell the fire lilies dancing in the wind and the smell of moon peaches in the air. It smelled like her -.

Mother.

That’s why the name of the town sounded familiar. This was her mother’s hometown. Azula felt her body stiffen at the idea. Had her father somehow known about the hallucinations? The visions where her mother was in the corner of the room advising her against engaging in one behavior or another.

There had been one night more than a week ago that had caused Azula to pull out clumps of her hair until her scalp bled, and her nails had broken as they bit into the stone floor of her room.

She hadn’t allowed any of the servants to touch her hair since that happened, and Ty Lee had quickly taken up the responsibility of doing Azula’s hair.

She tried to center herself by focusing on the feeling of Ty Lee’s fingers combing through her hair. Of Ty Lee’s voice singing a lullaby. But the feeling and sound of Ty Lee were slowly being replaced by memories of her mother.

This is a test of my strength. Father sent me here because he knew I could handle it. I’m not like Zuko. If father had sent him here, after mother disappeared he would have been a wreck and embarrassed their entire family.

Usually, the thought of her brother bringing shame to their family while she was the superior sibling had always made her feel better. But in this instance, it did not make her feel better. Azula was on edge. As if at any moment her mother would come gliding down one of the streets up to her.

Something in Azula wanted to see her mother, to show her that she wasn’t the monster she thought she was. While the sinister part of her, the one that was always in control wanted to show her mother the electricity that crackled from her fingertips. To hurl it at her and scream with glee as she watched her mother’s body hit the ground.

That didn’t calm her either. If anything, that made her breathing pick up. Azula needed to get out of the square right now. She had already dealt with the citizens who were part of the revolt, now she needed a moment to herself.

Guards had begun to flank her but waving her hand in the air she ushered them away.

“Go make sure those imbeciles lock up those traitors correctly. If any of them manage to escape it will be on your head,” she threatened and watched as they bowed and with quick steps move in the opposite direction as they followed the prisoners.

Making her way down the street Azula began looking at the storefronts and the vendors. She had taken up drinking as of late to help her sleep but being out of Caldera meant she had to keep up appearances. She would have to find the herbalist here and get them to give her something to make the hallucinations of her mother silence themselves. To give herself something that will allow her peace of mind to sleep.

She had found the herbalist shop at the end of the street and while it was clean and well kept it didn’t have any visitors. If they weren’t open they would have to be, she was their Crown Princess and what she said goes. But as she approached the door she heard humming and when she pushed the door inward it opened.

As she took measured steps and glanced down the aisles while she made her way to the front of the store the humming got louder. Azula felt like she was in a trance or if she had been swallowed by one of her hallucinations.

In her ear, she could almost imagine the sound of a younger Zuko’s laughter as he brushed the fuzz on the head of one of the turtleducks that lived in the pond. She could hear the quacks of the other ducks within the pond. Could feel the brush smoothing her hair down. Could hear the slight humming of a woman with glowing eyes. Glowing eyes that both Azula and Zuko had inherited.

Azula shivered. Her mother was gone and these hallucinations were ridiculous and a sign of weakness. So she marched forward and rang the bell to get the shopkeepers' attention. With that, the humming stopped and Azula felt the pit in her stomach grow.

Internally, Azula was shaking. The same way she had been shaking when she heard her grandfather tell her father that for his scheming he would have to kill Zuko. The same way she had been shaking when she heard her brother had been challenged to an Agni Kai. The same way she had been shaking when she watched as her father held his burning palm to her brother’s face.

The softer side of Azula couldn’t show in those moments, no, she couldn’t let her father see any of her mother's kindness in her. So she let the sinister side take over. The blood of Sozin, the one who had planned and started the conquering of the world.

But as she met the shopkeepers' eyes she felt her heart seize. Golden eyes met hers.

It couldn’t be.

Azula could feel the storm brewing inside of her and the racing of her heart pick up.

_“Azula?”_

_“Mother?”_

For the first time in a long time, Azula wanted to run from her problems. But she couldn't do that, what would father think? 

_He would think you are a coward. Underserving of the title as Crown Princess. Prove your loyalty. Prove it._

But she couldn't move, not even as her mother made her way from behind the counter as if to embrace her.

Before Ursa could reach out and cup Azula's cheek did she feel her body return to her and moved to get into a firebending stance.

_"You traitor."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to make some quick changes to the end of this chapter so that I could get the next chapter in order. I'm so excited. It should be out later today. At the end of each chapter, I'm going to start asking questions to get to know my readers a little better. So question of the chapter:
> 
> Q: If you were in the Avatar universe which element would you want to bend, and why?  
> A: Water, because I am incredibly accident-prone as are lots of members of my family and friend group. So if I was a waterbender with the ability to heal I would be the go-to nurse. Also, water is a scary element, and being able to control it would be wicked cool.
> 
> xoxo.


	6. Captain of Death

Azula watched as fear returned to her mother’s face.

_ Good, she should remember that she fears me.  _

Ursa had taken steps back to move away from Azula and had put her hands down back at her sides.

“You’ve grown so much. You look like me when I was your age.”

_ You look like me.  _

How preposterous. Azula was her father’s daughter through and through. She couldn’t resemble weakness, it wasn’t allowed. She let her mother know her distaste for that accusation by scoffing.

“I’m surprised you’re being so welcoming. I can only imagine how much you wish I was Zuzu instead. Always the disappointments, the both of you.” Azula brought her hand up to check her nails, creating the illusion of being unbothered by the unexpected reunion.

Internally Azula was scared and felt like her heart was waging a battle with a rat-viper. Scared that at any moment someone would walk in and see a girl stuck in a conversation with someone who wasn’t there. 

Azula wished she hadn’t sent the guards off. Who knew how long it would take those fumbling idiots to find her. Her mother was probably plotting in her head right now the best course of action to kill her. Just like she had when she had killed former Fire Lord Azulon.

Azula wouldn’t allow her to do that. Too much was at stake.

She was born to be Fire Lord and dominate the Earth, she couldn’t let her mother get rid of her. No. If her mother knew that Zuko was still alive she would do whatever means necessary to make sure he got the crown and the glory.

Azula felt hot. Uncomfortably so. Not the type of hot she was when she warmed her body up and with it Ty Lee when she was cold. This was a sticky type of hot. As if she was battling a raging volcano that had just erupted. 

Azula watched her prey.

“Not everyone is out to get you Azula,” her mother’s voice had taken on a patronizing tone, “I’ve missed you too.”

_ Liar.  _ Azula wanted to hiss at the sentiment. 

“I find that hard to believe given your track record  _ Ursa _ .” Azula had learned how to navigate speaking in court at a young age. Out maneuvering her father’s political allies in more ways than one, and her mother was a fool if she thought she could beat her.

_ I know all the ways she can spin this conversation, she won’t get to me. Father raised me better than that.  _

But Azula could still feel a phantom hand running down the locks of her hair. The sound of bee-gnats in her ears and the garden. Everything felt so loud.

Azula’s hands turned to fists and the crescents of her nails bit into her palms. No doubt leaving behind small bloody tracks.

Her mother offered no response but rather just stared at her daughter in shock.

“I bet you said goodbye to your precious little Zuzu before you left. But you probably didn’t have the strength to tell me. Always a coward, no wonder you preferred him over me.”

Azula could tell she was slipping and she couldn’t bring herself back together. Her body felt heavy.

“I said goodbye to you first, Azula. But you were always a heavy sleeper.”

She offered no commentary.

“I did leave you a letter though. You and your brother were always good at finding things.”

That piqued her interest. But if her mother had left her a letter she hadn’t put it in a place where Azula could find it.

_ Are you that pathetic, that you would believe the words of this traitor? She abandoned you to protect your fool of a brother. Come now Azula, you’re smarter than that.  _ A voice that resembled her father echoed in her head.

“Hm, and how was I supposed to find this letter? Or even know that I was supposed to be looking for one in the first place?” For the first time since the conversation began she felt smug. Her mother wouldn’t have an answer for that.

“Azula you were the eyes and ears around the entire palace. I would have thought you would have known I left something behind for you.”

_ You should have left when you had the chance. Now she knows you aren’t as smart as you say you are. Look at you.  _

“The only thing the staff knew was that you vanished into thin air. No one spoke of you. I hope you didn’t assume your importance within the walls of the palace mother,” Azula snarled.

Ursa looked dejected.

Azula had to laugh.

“You did all of that to protect him and it didn’t even matter. Father still got to him in the end, just as he was always meant to.”

“You should have done him a favor and let father throw him over the wall into the ocean when he was born.” Azula could hear what she was saying but she wasn’t processing the words coming out of her mouth.

“You don’t mean that Azula. And your father promised me that no harm would come to either you or your brother if I left.”

_ How gullible. _

“And you believed him?”

Azula didn’t wait to see her mother’s reaction before she screeched out a sound of laughter. If anyone were to walk in they would think she was mad. And maybe she was.

“The burn scar on poor Zuzu’s face would be desperate to disagree with you. If only he was here,” Azula said mockingly.

_ “Young lady!”  _

There it was, that disapproving tone her mother only reserved for her and never for Zuko. Zuko was Ursa’s perfect child. He could do no wrong. But Azula, she was always the monster.

Before she missed it she caught the look of contemplation in her mother’s eyes. 

_ Yes, think about what I just said. If her father was willing to kill Zuko because grandfather asked him to, what makes you think he wouldn’t hurt him later on? _

“He would have been fine if he had kept his mouth shut for once. But no, that was never his strong suit now was it?” 

Ursa had lost her composure and looked like someone was strangling her and had stumbled back into the countertop.

“Father would never have a reason to hurt me. I was made in my grandfather’s image. I am the pride of our family legacy. But Zuko always failed.”

Azula didn’t bother to mention that Zuko’s slow progress with his bending had been somewhat her fault. But then again how had he not realized when she slipped chi blockers into his tea and food. Or when she had put a little too much pressure on specific areas of his body. He had made it too easy for her.

Without another word, Azula spun towards the door and made her way out of the herbalist shop. There was no need for her to have Ursa captured and sent back to Caldera. She would let Ursa waste away here in this town knowing that she had failed to protect her precious son.

Azula would go back to Caldera with her peace of mind. Knowing that her mother was alive and where to find her was another secret she intended on locking away.

_ Father can’t know that I found her. He’ll be upset that I let her live. _

While her father had sold the public in believing that he loved Ursa, Azula remembered the faint bruises coating her mother’s arms and throat whenever her clothing shifted. She remembered when her mother used to flinch when her father would stand just a little too close to her or move to touch her.

_ Father would never hurt me, I am his loyal daughter.  _

_ Zuko had said a modified version of the same thing, and that never stopped Ozai from burning and banishing his first-born. _

How were these treasonous thoughts still poisoning her mind? As Azula made her way back to the airship that would be bringing her home she began to plot what she was going to do when she got back.

It looked like she was going on a treasure hunt, and she always found what she was looking for.

* * *

Zuko had never taken time to study the sky at night, and on top of Appa, it seemed even more beautiful and vast than it did down below. Up where the dewy mist of the clouds coated his skin.

He and Katara had left approximately two hours earlier after having an early dinner. Aang had spoken with her briefly and left as quickly as he appeared.

Earlier in the day, he had found the Avatar and his waterbending master practicing their forms. Rather than sparring, Katara and Aang had fallen into a sort of dance when shifting the water under their control. It was different watching them bend his opposing element than it was to watch Aang and Toph spar while earthbending.

Waterbending was full of smooth and graceful forms. Acting as an extension of the bender's body, kind of like him with his duo swords. It was calming watching them and he had lost his train of thought before he heard coughing. Looking up he was met by striking blue-eyes that glowed in the sunlight.

He was unused to Katara speaking to him directly and quickly shifted his body to make room for her to sit next to him. Aang had once again run off to join another group doing an activity somewhere and left the two of them alone.

He watched with bated breath as Katara moved a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Aang agreed to let us use Appa. When will you be ready to leave?”

Zuko found himself unable to talk. Did Katara know that her eyes shimmered and changed its hue of blue? It reminded him of the sea at high tide, pulling everything in and refusing to let go.

“Um,” Zuko tried to get his thoughts in order, “I have everything I could need packed. But I think we shouldn’t leave until we have eaten and rested a while. It will only take a short time to get to the communication tower, but we don’t know where the Southern Raiders are right now.”

“We leave at dusk then.” Just as quickly as she had sat down she got up and left, most likely to get her stuff in order.

Zuko watched her leave and took a while to just enjoy the present. When he was back at the palace and had nothing to do he had felt restless. As if his efforts around his former home wasn’t enough. This was most likely due to the fact that he had lived an impoverished lifestyle for months as a refugee. He didn’t know how to accept many of the former services he had been accustomed to before his banishment.

Here in the Air Temple, he felt at peace in a way he hadn’t ever felt when living in the palace. The palace where at every corner there was another set of eyes that watched him. Eyes that schemed and eyes that cast judgment on him.

Zuko hoped that his recent behavior with the servants would show the type of person he had become. He had always been kind to the servants in the palace, that was something his mother taught him. But during his banishment, he had forgotten all of that and treated the men under his command like dirt under his shoe.

He doesn’t know how long he stayed sitting where he was but he felt the sun’s position begin its descent from the sky. Before he made his way to his room he wanted his uncle to know where he was going. 

Zuko often wonders if he would be where he was without his uncle.  _ Probably not. Even with his help I almost didn’t end up here _ . Strangely enough, Zuko thinks that this was how things were meant to happen. Even if he had joined Ka- Aang in Ba Sing Se he was still likely to be holding onto his desperation of receiving his father’s approval.

He had needed to see his father face-to-face again. To uncover what he had about his family. To confront his father about what a horrible person he was.

He still feels like a hand is squeezing his heart every time he thinks about what his father had said about his mother during the eclipse. She could still be alive out there. He doubted that if his mother had sent him letters his father would have given them to him. 

No. That would have given younger Zuko the idea to run away to join his mother. His father needed his pawns close and he wasn’t going to allow outside forces to steal them away.

Ozai was just as calculating and cunning as Azula was. He had raised his children to serve him and him alone. Their vision of loyalty had been tied to doing what their father wanted and expected of them, not what served for the betterment of his nation.

Passing the kitchen Zuko saw his uncle sitting with Hakoda enjoying tea.  _ Jasmine by the smell of it _ . He watched as his uncle turned his head to meet his gaze.

“Ah, I was wondering when I would see you again my nephew. Please, come join us.”

Despite having spoken with the Southern Chief earlier and helping him escape from prison he was still nervous around him. Zuko was the son of the man who was planning on burning the world to the ground and oftentimes didn’t know if he was part of this group because he was of use or if they liked him.

He hoped it was the latter. It would be nice for once to have friends.

“I just wanted to let you know that Katara and I will be leaving soon.”

“Yes, she found us earlier and let us know about your arrangement.”

Zuko didn’t know how to respond to that so he just stood in front of their table with his hands clasped in front of him. He heard both of the older men chuckle quietly at his expense.

“Why, my nephew, do you appear to be so nervous?”

“Because I’m going on a trip with Katara.  _ Alone _ . What if I make her mad and she throws me off of Appa?”

Now both of them let their laughter be heard. He watched as his uncle whipped imaginary tears out of his eyes.

“Now, now, Prince Zuko, the Princess is a reasonable young lady. Surely if she planned on attacking you she would wait until you were on solid ground to fight you. Also, she will be too busy focusing on the objective of your trip. Tell me, why are you so concerned with what she thinks of you?”

“I don’t know,” he heard his voice take on a pitch that was much too loud and lowered it, “I just find myself wanting her approval more than anyone else's.”

He had kept his gaze on the floor and missed the look the two gentlemen in front of him shared. There was a knowingness that had passed between them as if they had already anticipated Zuko’s words before he said them aloud.

“Then you ought to get ready before she goes chasing you down so that you can leave.”

Without saying anything else he bowed his head towards them and made his way out of the kitchen and headed off to pack his things.

They had already begun their journey the moment the sun touched the water and were currently making their way to the nearest communication tower. They would have to be the epitome of stealth and with that in mind, he was worried. He had no concerns about being able to sneak in but was unsure if Katara would be able to keep up.

They wouldn’t reach their destination until a few more hours and he felt the urge to call out to her so that they could plan some more. The only thing that stopped him from doing so was the rigid posture she had taken up sitting on Appa’s head. So he did the next best thing and closed his eyes being lulled into a light sleep with the wind blowing in his ear.

He felt his body slowly come back to him as Appa was being guided downward. Up ahead he could make out the silhouette of the tower and knew that they had reached their destination. Both of them were dressed in black and with the moon’s glow being dimmed by the clouds passing in front of it they were unlikely to be seen.

“Do you have any experience sneaking into places?”

“I took on the persona of the Painted Lady, snuck into a factory and blew it up without getting caught. Aang helped with that last bit.”

Zuko just stared at her in amazement. Katara never failed to surprise him.

“Looks like taking on a Spirit identity is something else we have in common,” he let the words slip out of his mouth and instantly wanted to take them back. The last time he mentioned their shared experience was a touchy subject. Preparing himself for her remark he opened his mouth to apologize, but she just looked bored.

“Sorry.”

They quickly fell into their own dance when infiltrating the communication tower. It gave him a bit of a thrill to have a partner with him sneaking in someplace. They made a good team and had gotten in and out swiftly.

Back on Appa, Zuko watched as Katara once again sat away from him. He felt that if he called out to her and told her to rest she might skewer him with an ice dagger so he kept quiet. If he saw her body begin to sway and give off signs of wanting to rest he would request that they give Appa a break. She wasn’t likely to give herself a break but she would give Appa one.

The sun had just begun to appear before he heard her let out a yawn and decided it was now or never.

“We should set Appa down to rest and sleep during the day. Then head back out tonight to finish the journey.”

She made no effort to give him a verbal response and kept her eyes forward. When she had finally seen a strip of land she guided Appa down once again. Settling in front of a cave the three travel companions made their way inside.

Much like the rhythm, they had fallen into earlier they fall into another as they set up their camp. She makes them something to eat as he helps Appa get comfortable and feeds him before he rests.

He doesn’t want to ruin this moment between them, doesn’t want her to think that he questions her desperation in finding the Captain of the Southern Raiders. Sometimes he thinks about telling her everything he knows about his Nations-sanctioned murderers that roam the seas nearing her home but doubts it would make her feel better.

How does he look into the eyes of a girl who had grown up too quickly and tell her that the people they were looking for were given their job for the sole purpose of hunting down Southern waterbenders? How they kept logs of the names of all the waterbenders they captured and documented their ages. There were always two copies of the Southern Raiders’ logs. The original stayed with the Raiders while the copy was made to add to the collection of tomes in the Royal Library.

He remembered the tomes his tutors used. Back when he had been disillusioned into believing in this war. Something had never sat right with him though about what was happening south of his home.

If he closed his eyes he could still see the entry that had been burned into his mind. One about a little boy who had clung to his mother - both waterbenders - as they were loaded onto the ship. How they had held onto each other for most of the trip but the boy's mother had fallen ill. How he had begged some of the crew members to bring water but had been ignored. How he had still held onto her body even when foam had poured out of her mouth and there was no pulse to be found. How the sea had raged as the boy screamed when the officers threw his mother's body overboard. How the sea claimed the boy shortly after.

He breaks away from his thoughts as Katara calls for him to eat and they once again sit in silence. They eat and clean up the remains of their meal quickly and try their best to get some rest. Katara falls asleep before he does and he is grateful that Agni allowed him to still be awake to see her do so.

She would run herself ragged if she didn’t get any sleep, and Zuko had promised her father and her brother that she would be safe with him. He couldn’t go back on his word.

He is still staring at Katara and watching the rise and fall of her body as he falls asleep.

They wake up again shortly before the sun starts to set. Instead of cooking a hot meal, they both decide to eat packaged fruits while in the air. Katara checks on Appa this time, ensuring that he has gotten enough rest and food to eat before they set out again. She had been up before him that much he could tell, and by looking at the bags under her eyes he knew that she hadn’t gotten much sleep.

An hour into their journey Zuko urges her to rest.

“You should get some rest. You’ll need all your strength.”

Her next words are cutting, “Oh don't you worry about my strength, I have plenty. I’m not the helpless little girl I was when they came.”

As he hears Katara’s version of the day tragedy struck her family he is reminded once again of the little waterbender boy from the Southern Raiders’ entry.  _ Helpless.  _ That’s how he must have felt. Having watched as his mother’s life faded away unable to help her and unable to honor her in death so that she may achieve peace in the Spirit World.

He sees the boy clutching his dead mother and sees Katara instead. Katara with her body draped over her mothers as if she could bring her back with her tears alone. With one hand firmly grasping the pendant of an old betrothal necklace.

If he hadn’t been sure he wanted the Raiders to suffer before he knows he certainly wants them to now. It isn’t his decision to judge their fate, that alone goes to Katara. Whether it's for all of the stolen waterbenders of her tribe or if it is for the little girl she once was. Her rage is all-consuming and Zuko won’t deny that he is in awe of her.

When they had reached the ship with the crest of Sea Ravens on it Zuko couldn’t do much but watch. So he did. He watched as the element around them bowed to her will and swallowed up the members of the crew. She could have forced the sea to be as unforgiving and unmerciful as she was feeling right now but she let the men come together to hold one another afloat.

He watched as she laid siege to the vessel the Raiders had been sanctioned. She looked ahead never to the side or back, he did that for her, prepared to knock down anyone who tried to raise a hand to her. He waited in anticipation to see her meet the captain and wondered if this truly was going to be the end of their journey. He jumped in front of her to volley the attacks of fire he knew were coming and positioned himself there.

Her back was straight and her face gave none of her emotions away. 

“Who are you?”

“You don’t remember her? You will soon.” Zuko was ready for another round of attacks but stared in amazement as he watched the captain’s body seize and curl inward. But he didn’t dare look back at her. He knew how she felt about this technique and if she had decided to use it then he would not fault her.

“Think back to your last raid on the Southern Water Tribe.”

“Please. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Look her in the eye and tell me you don’t remember what you did!” Zuko couldn’t help but be infuriated. This man's life was on the line and there he was standing before them and lying. But then he heard Katara whisper and let the man’s body drop.

“It’s not him.”

So Zuko began his interrogation. 

“If you aren’t the man we’re looking for then who is it?”

“You’re looking for Yon Rha. He retired years ago.”

“How do we find him?”

Zuko listened as Katara walked out of the control room. After getting the information he needed he knocked the captain out for good measure and moved to follow Katara.

_ Back on Appa, we go. _

* * *

Katara’s hands shook at how easy it had been to just reach out. How ready she had been to punish anyone in her path.

_ His eyes weren’t the right shade. _

She felt her body shudder but knew that she wouldn’t take back her actions. He may not have been the man who took her mother from her, but he was still in charge of the vessel that terrorized people living in the Southern sphere. 

_ He is not innocent and neither am I. _

She let Zuko take the reins on top of Appa’s head to lead the last part of their trip. She was one step closer to getting what she needed. They were heading back in the direction they had just come from. The possibility that they could have landed in his village and found him before getting to the ship wasn’t lost on her.

_ Don’t say him Katara. That gives him anonymity. His name is Yon Rha. _

Katara wasn’t sure what she was going to do when she met him face-to-face and would rather not think about it. She felt the feeling of sleep at the corner of her vision and welcomed it. She was immersed in the same nightmare that haunted her, except this time Katara wasn’t a little girl and she wasn’t helpless.

This time she grasped, she pulled, and he died at her feet. She was a girl of the tundra, and the tundra was cold and unforgiving. Yon Rha would live to regret taking her mother from her.

He would regret robbing the girl with the power of the oceans coursing through her veins of her childhood. He would regret robbing the girl of her brethren. She would do what she needed to do for her family, for the bodies of her tribesmen and tribeswomen who weren’t mourned or buried by their people. She would do this for Hama too. Because even though the elder tribeswoman had tried to hurt Katara and her friends she was a victim of this war too.

She woke feeling more rested than she had in the past few days and saw the stray beams of sunlight beginning to rise. But the sky was still full of clouds. It was going to rain today. 

She watched as Zuko guided Appa downward to the landmass below them. She waited until they landed to ask him any questions.

“How long do we still have to go?”

He looked at her curiously, “we’re already here.”

Had she slept that long?

Without waiting for her to say anything in response Zuko urged Appa into a cave and started tending to the bison. Giving no effort to move Katara watched Zuko interact with the sky bison. He was having a full-on conversation with him and Appa let out several grunts and groans as responses. When Zuko had set the food down in front of him, Appa gave him a lick on the entire right side of Zuko’s body and heard him groan.

Katara had a newfound appreciation for the boy with fire in his blood. He had let her take the lead and stepped back throughout their journey and gave her agency. She felt like a wall had crumbled within her as she didn’t hold back. She had become so accustomed to people questioning her choices that it felt strange to have Zuko not say anything, strange that not once had he given her any indication that she was in the wrong.

Her gaze had moved to the floor as she contemplated her thoughts. It wasn’t until a few moments later that she felt his golden gaze fall on her. As if waiting for her to answer him.

“Katara? Did you hear me?”

“No. Sorry. I was lost in thought. What were you saying?”

“I wanted to know how you wanted to do this? We could head out now or we could wait until later to search for Yon Rha.” She liked that Zuko said the monster’s name.  _ No shadows for him to hide in now. _

“You should get some rest. You stayed up all night keeping Appa on track. I’ll make us something to eat before you do.”

Before they left this town they should try to stock up on some supplies to bring back from their journey. Who knew how much Sokka had eaten while they were gone?

“I feel restless. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep right now.”

“I’m not going to hurt you if that’s what you meant.”

“I know.”

Katara felt warmth flood her body as he looked at her. She had seen his sidelong glances being thrown at her when they were back at the Western Air Temple but his gaze right now felt different. Like he was seeing her for the first time. She didn’t know if she craved being seen for who she or if it scared her. 

She thinks that if it had been anyone else she may have been scared. Scared of their admonishments. But here with Zuko looking at her that way she craved that feeling. The only difference between the two of them was that people had only ever seen the darkness within him and the kindness in her. When both of them were capable of great good and evil.

Katara didn’t say anything back and went about making them breakfast. Appa had fallen asleep quickly after reaching the cave and Katara felt bad. She had been pushing him too hard and would make sure that she brought him back a treat.

Zuko was almost always prone to silence as if he feared saying the wrong thing so he decided not to say anything at all. She wasn’t used to it. Being surrounded by Toph, Aang, and her brother had always come with some type of noise filling the air.

She wanted to bring up the night before and what he had seen her do. But she didn’t want to think about the potential backlash she could face as a result. Instead, she kept her gaze forward on the pot cooking their congee. 

Katara knew that the sun had begun to rise in the sky but it was being blocked by the rain clouds she had seen earlier.

While enjoying breakfast Katara began thinking about what they should do. He felt too restless to sleep and knowing that she was so close to Yon Rha she felt restless too.

“We can head out to try and find where he is. If we go to the market one of the vendors might know where to find him.” She decided to start up the conversation.

“If you feel up to it we certainly can.”

Goodness, Sokka was right when he said Zuko was concise. Short and to the point.

“Zuko. You don’t have to act like I’m going to bite your head off. I’m trying to make conversation.”

She watched as he swallowed the lump in his throat. As if her suggesting they make conversation was forbidden.

“I don’t know much about you and I think that if we’re going to be friends it would be nice to know you better.” And she meant that. He had more than proven himself in his efforts to help since he joined the team.

She panicked as she heard him choke on his congee after having said that. As she reached out to him she saw him shake his head and cough a few times to get his food down. A blush had graced his cheeks in embarrassment that she had seen him act like that.

For the remainder of breakfast, they made light conversation about anything they could think about. Sokka was their choice subject at the moment.

“He kept on sneaking into Suki’s cell and most of the time I had stationed myself outside the door. When he did it the first time and tried kissing her she ended up slamming him into the door,” he broke out into laughter as he recalled the memory.

She could imagine Sokka doing something like that. He had always been rather impatient. 

They talked for a little longer and shared a few laughs before heading to the market. The joy she had felt earlier dissipated as she prepared her mind and body for when Yon Rha crossed her path. The fruit vendor had given them directions rather quickly to Yon Rha’s house. It seemed that he was not well-liked here in the market by any of the vendors.

She and Zuko had already begun their trek to his home when they saw him heading in their direction. She felt Zuko pull her into a nearby brush and hold her body to his. The storm clouds overhead had grown darker and darker as the day continued and there was only a light breeze but that didn’t stop her from shivering. She relished in Zuko’s body heat.

They waited until Yon Rha had become no more than a speck in their vision to set a trap for him when he came back this way. She was now constantly aware of Zuko’s body concerning how close it was to her own. It hadn’t taken them long to set the wire between the two trees. Yon Rha hadn’t looked down to his feet a single time when passing them, so he would miss the trap.

He was too busy looking for enemies among the treelines to consider them being anywhere else. She didn’t know how long she and Zuko waited for Yon Rha to return but her heart began to race when she made out his silhouette coming towards them.

He had just passed a bush a foot away from their trap when he heard a noise behind him.  _ He was paranoid. Good. _

“No one sneaks up on me without getting burned!” He said as he launched a fist full of fire at the bush and let it continue to burn behind him. If that fire grew and spread it could burn anything in its path. As if the Spirits above were listening to her train of thought it began to rain, and even better Yon Rha fell to his knees.

Zuko jumped out from behind their covering first much as he did on the ship.  _ Always putting himself in front of me and accepting the brunt of the attack. _

“We weren’t behind the bush.”

At the word, "we" Katara made her presence known and made her way out from behind Zuko with measured steps.

“Do you know who I am,” Katara felt her rage pick up.

“I’m not sure.”

“Oh, you better remember me like your life depends on it! Why don’t you take a closer look?”

He ran his eyes over her face and realization struck his own, “you, you’re the little Water Tribe girl.”

“What were your orders?” Katara wanted to understand more than anything. Her mother had been the only person to die the day of the raid, no one else. It was intentional. But why her?

“About a decade before the raid a Southern waterbender managed to escape a prison called the Dry Place, where no water could be found. We originally thought that she would have returned home and had scouts patrolling the area but no boats made their way to the South Pole. We assumed that she must have died wandering the Fire Nation desperate to get home.” Yon Rha’s voice was as dismissive as it was smug.

“We gave up searching for her but under the direction of at the time Fire Prince Ozai, we didn’t bring back the scouts surrounding the area of the South Pole, and it's a good thing we didn’t. One of our sources said that they saw someone out on the tundra bending the water, so we mobilized and set off to the South Pole.” Katara felt her heart pick up.

“The day of the raid I let my men cause havoc amongst the members of the tribe and made my way to the Chieftain’s igloo. I figured that since there were no women seen on the battlefield his wife would be at home and she would know who we were looking to find. You came and you left in between my questioning of her, and when you left she told me what I needed to know.”

Katara didn’t show it but she was trembling - out of anger or sorrow, she didn’t know. But she felt like the air didn’t want to return to her lungs.

“What did you need to know?”

“I needed to know who the waterbender was. She told me it was her and to take her as our prisoner,” Yon Rha laughed at that, “as if we would risk harboring any southern savage on our ship. Her death gave me my title as the  _ Captain of Death  _ and with it my retirement . You should be proud she could contribute something worthwhile to the war, girl.” Katara closed her eyes and tried to let her breathing return to normal.

_ They were looking for me.  _

_ He came looking for me, she lied, she died, and he left. _

“She lied to you,” she said through gritted teeth, “she was protecting the last waterbender.”

She took no satisfaction from the way Yon Rha’s face fell.

“What? Who is it?”

“ME!”

All around her the water halted and succumbed to her authority. She lifted the water off the ground and from the air to create a dome of water around the three of them. She wasted no time watching Yon Rha’s face morph into fear as she spun her hands in a circle and shattered the dome around them to create large shards of ice. She held them over his body as she watched him cower from her power.

She wanted to do it. She wanted to get even. But when she tries to press one of the shards closer to him she remembers a Watertribe lullaby being sung in her ear and the feeling of a phantom hand smoothing down her chocolate locks.

She let the water go and the rain continued to pour down all around them.

“I did a bad thing and you are right to want revenge. Why don’t you take my mother as payment?” Katara had closed her eyes and hadn’t seen the smile that graced his face when he offered his mother’s life.

“I used to wonder what kind of person could do such a thing. But now that I see you I think I understand. You’re nothing but a pathetic sad excuse of a man who committed atrocities for personal gain while under the guise of caring about your nation. And as much as I want to kill you, I can’t. But know this. You will spend the rest of your life in paranoia wondering when I or someone else will come for you next, and believe me they will come for you.” With that, she moved away from him and didn’t look back.

She left him trembling in the rain. She didn’t need Zuko to say anything because she could feel his warmth to the right of her. They walked back to Appa in silence and only then did she allow herself to break.

She fell to her knees and cried. She hadn’t expected him to, but Zuko wrapped her in an embrace and held her to his chest.

“I’m sorry Katara.”

She knew he was apologizing for his father’s role in this.

“You aren’t your father Zuko, so don’t apologize for his sins. He’ll answer for them soon enough.”

Zuko said nothing more and she was grateful for that. If anybody happened to stumble upon their cave all they would see is a girl being rocked back and forth by a boy with a scar. They weren’t the Prince and Princess of their respected nations right now. They were just Zuko and Katara, and that was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah bro I cried. Thank you for reading, and I hope you have an amazing week! Question of the chapter:
> 
> Q: What is your favorite episode of the series?  
> A: It's gotta be a tie between The Southern Raiders episode and the Zuko Alone episode.
> 
> xoxo


	7. Moves and Countermoves

Ozai had never been the type of man who excelled at formulating plans, but instead was the one who saw them through. His father and his brother were the ones who made the plans. His puppeteers. But he was a puppet no longer. Now, he was the one pulling the strings and he would make everyone bow to his will.

While he may not have made his intentions to usurp his brother clear before his marriage to Ursa, it had always been a goal to be achieved. Once his father had tracked down the descendants of Avatar Roku and proposed a marriage between Ursa and himself a new type of game began.

A game in which he played very well. His father may not have known but he had moved the wrong pai sho tile in his game of life, and Ozai had every intention to capitalize on it. So he became the perfect picture of the dutiful second-born son to Fire Lord Azulon. Exercising his authority over those in his command to bring honor to the homeland. And after his marriage to Ursa, he was depicted as a loving husband to the public when he was nothing of the sort. 

Before he had stolen her life from her, Ursa had been an actress in her hometown and was quite popular. She was beautiful, quiet, kind, and skilled. For even though she was a non-bender she made up for it by understanding the uses of herbs. Ozai had watched her every move and went out of his way to ensure that she made no friends within the palace. Watched and studied the properties of the herbs she kept in her garden carefully. His brother was the exception to the rule of friendship as he could not dictate whether or not his wife spoke to the Crown Prince.

Ozai had felt his patience slipping with how slow his progress was in undermining his brother’s road to ruling the Fire Nation. That changed when Ursa became pregnant and gave birth to Zuko. Ozai hadn’t been in the room to see him born and before even looking at his son had felt pride that his first child had been a boy. That feeling of pride was ripped away from him and turned into contempt when he saw no spark in the baby’s eyes.

If it hadn’t been for his wretched father and brother he would have thrown Zuko out of one of the windows of the palace. 

He remembered asking himself why Agni would punish him with such a disappointment for a son.

His contempt festered with time and nearing two years after the birth of Zuko, his true miracle was born -  _ Azula _ . He knew from the moment he saw his daughter why Agni had denied him the child he wanted first.

_ The second-born children are always the better choice even when they are overlooked because of the firstborn. She will be the one to give me what I want, what I deserve. _

For years he waited. Waited to see if his failure of a son would bend fire. Waited to see the progress that his daughter would surely show. When Zuko first showed signs of bending Ozai was impressed. Perhaps he had been mistaken the day of Zuko’s birth and Agni had sent him two blessings for children. A year later when Azula first showed signs of bending, the heat of her flames had been three times that of Zuko’s first flames.

As more time passed he watched as his daughter’s flames transformed to the color blue and as she surpassed her masters. Watched as the noble’s in his father’s court recognized his daughter as a prodigy. He knew that if he still planned on usurping his brother he would have to orchestrate several plots. And so he did.

Ozai had researched into mercenary groups that were known for their discretion and had never failed to succeed in apprehending their targets. When his nephew Lu Ten had gone with Iroh to Ba Sing Se he waited a full year before choosing a group of mercenaries to employ. When he had finally made his decision he sent them their orders.

_ On the night before the 600-day of the siege of Ba Sing Se, you are to kill Prince Lu Ten but leave his body to be recognized. To prove the job is finished, return to the Fire Nation on the night of the solstice and bring with you a lock of Prince Lu Ten’s hair. _

The lock of hair wasn’t necessary if he was being honest. News of Lu Ten’s death had echoed in the streets of the Fire Nation and the halls of the palace. Iroh had sent Ursa a letter as well speaking of the death of his son. 

The lock of hair was Ozai’s first trophy that he kept hidden away in a secret compartment within the catacombs under the palace. The first trophy to show that Ozai was one step closer to getting the title of Fire Lord. 

If he had kept the lock of hair in his room there was no telling who would find it - be it Ursa or one of the servants. They would mistake it as something to throw out and he couldn’t allow for that. It was a symbol that he was succeeding.

When Ozai had asked his father to name him as his heir he had been shocked at his father’s response. Couldn’t he see that what he was proposing was far better than allowing the failure his brother had become to sit on the throne? Azulon had asked for his son and Ozai had to withhold laughing in his father’s face.

_ As if I care if the boy dies. Azula is the one who takes after me. _

It wasn’t until Ursa came barging into his part of their connected rooms and demanded to know if he was intending to kill their son did he rethink that sentiment. From the moment they could comprehend, he had taught them that before they serve anyone else they were to serve him and his needs. They had fallen into line quickly. His son, desperate for his approval, went out of his way to do whatever his father asked of him.

Upon hearing the urgency in Ursa’s voice at the thought of losing her favored child, Ozai began to plot his next move. Zuko’s main issue was his attachment to his mother, it made him too soft. Without her influence to curb Ozai’s thirst for power through their son, Zuko may prove to be of more use. He would get rid of his father and her in one stroke.

So he made her a deal. If she blended her herbs into a concoction to kill his father and put him on the throne he would spare Zuko’s life. But after she did so she would have to leave and never message her children again. Promising her that no harm would come to them.

_ How gullible. _

He had been a bit surprised that she would go through with the plan and follow his instructions without a hitch. But that feeling was fleeting as he remembered how much Ursa had cared for her children. How she had disregarded her knowledge of his cruelty and put faith in him to protect their children.

The process of getting himself on the throne had been a long one but he had channeled the spirit of his ancestor Sozin and waited. Waited for all of the right moments to break the foundations of others standing in his way, both before he was on the throne and even now as he sat behind a wall of fire.

Now that he was on the throne, however, his patience had begun to dwindle. For all the usefulness his daughter had proven to have before, she was stepping out of line more and more. He had been feeding her the idea that her mother hadn’t loved her, that Ursa viewed her as a monster since she learned to firebend. That had made it easy for him to mold her in his image, to be the perfect asset in seizing power during the war.

What he hadn’t taken into account was what that would mean for him. Molding her in his image meant that she inherited the majority of his characteristics, the same ones he had used to gain power. Since she had returned from quelling the revolt in her mother’s hometown a little over a week ago there were periods of time where no one could find her. Or when she was physically present she wasn’t there mentally. 

He didn’t like not having her near. To not know what she was thinking. Because if there was anyone who could get rid of him quickly and efficiently it was her. And if she realized that his dreams of being reborn as the conqueror of the world would end.

Ozai pushed the feeling of fear out of his mind. She should consider herself lucky that none of the noble families have been here to see her act so out of character. He needed to find her something to do. Give her a task for his interests.

_ Perhaps she should prove her loyalty to you once again by going after her traitor brother. Make it apparent to her that as long as Zuko lives there would be people who questioned her authority. Questioned whether or not Zuko should be the one sitting on the throne instead of her. _

“Kovu, send for my daughter and tell her to meet me for dinner.”

Telling her this over dinner would make it appear that he cared for her. It was so much easier to control his puppets when they believed he cared about them, and his daughter was no exception. She would attribute disappointing her father as a personal failure and go out of her way to make up for it.

Since Zuko’s banishment, she has strived to go above and beyond her father’s expectations. To help him secure more allies and support for his campaign to dominate the world. He owed his military successes to her ruthless and cunning nature.

_ If I give her this second opportunity to find the Avatar and his friends, there is a possibility that she can kill them all in one fell swoop. After all, she did tell me that she struck him down with lightning.  _

The only question Ozai could find himself asking was how the boy Avatar had survived a bolt of lightning that traveled straight through his body. After all, Azula was known for her precision and wouldn’t have missed the exact target she had been shooting for.

A sense of foreboding struck him. There was something that he was missing, and if he didn’t figure it out he would be in dire straits. He felt his heartbeat begin to pick up as it had earlier at the thought of his daughter taking away his dreams of being an all-powerful ruler. 

Ozai visualized the game of pai sho he played inside his head and ran his eyes over all of the tiles. His eyes had immediately been drawn to one tile in particular and if he wasn’t panicking before he was now.

There was a blank tile on the board of this game of pai sho, and if he didn’t want to end up like his father or his dead nephew he would need to think fast before it was too late.

Who knows,  _ maybe it already is. _

* * *

The morning after Katara and Zuko headed off for their trip, Suki and Sokka had traversed around the temple alone. Qin’s words still echoing in her head.

_ Child of Earth and Child of Water must unlock the guarded secrets of the spiritual survivors. _

Sure they had deduced the line to mean that it was Sokka and her responsibility to complete the task but they didn’t know what they were looking for. They spent the next two days searching up and down the temple, every nook and cranny had been critiqued. But they still had come up with nothing. 

They had attributed it to having their minds lost elsewhere and also having to step up and fill the roles Katara and Zuko had around camp. Both statements happened to be true. Neither of them had truly grasped just how much Katara alone did around camp and when adding Zuko’s contributions the list of things to do kept piling up.

Suki tried to keep Sokka as distracted as possible and reassured him that Katara would be fine. But she could tell that in their moments of silence his mind went straight to his sister. It had been a relief when Katara and Zuko had shown back up almost as quickly as they had left. 

They didn’t share the details about what happened with the whole group but there was a notable difference, especially in the way they acted around one another. Katara was more open to making eye-contact and directly talking to Zuko instead of begrudgingly speaking to him whenever he helped her. There were also a lot more fleeting touches that they both gave and received.

Now that neither she nor Sokka had to worry about cooking and ensuring the safety of the people in the camp they were more prone to finding stuff they had glossed over in their other searches. One thing that had stuck out to her was that all of the hallways had a way to get to the library directly, and the doors of the library had multiple entrances but only one was open. When she had pointed this out to Sokka he swept through the library like a storm.

_ He may be stupid sometimes, but I’ve never met anyone with a brain like his. _

Both of them scanned high and low to find any schematics of the temple that could help in figuring out their task. When they had come up empty, Sokka had taken it upon himself to employ the help of Toph and Teo. Teo was the son of the mechanist, Sokka had told her, and would be better at drawing the dimensions of the temple than he was. And with Toph’s ability to map out the area around her she could clarify what needed to be drawn and identify anything that was hidden.

While Toph and Teo were busy with the schematics Suki and Sokka both took to scanning the books within the library. Many of the documents on display were about the cultural practices of the Air Nation people as well as ways to connect with the spiritual world around them. None of the books, however, said anything about the bending styles and history of the Air Nation.

At first, Suki thought that it must be because when the Fire Nation attacked they either burned or looted the documents just in case there were survivors. But there were no scorch marks on the wall and the other genres of scrolls and books had been listed. There was no nameplate for the history of the Air Nomads present in their library.

_ That’s strange. Isn’t a library supposed to be full of the history of one’s nation? So why aren’t there any books on the history of the Air Nomads? _

She went to sleep with those questions spinning around in her head. She would talk about it with Sokka tomorrow when they continued their accelerated reading.

It had taken almost a full day to map out only half of the library and so far they were still coming up with nothing. It was now the sixth day of their search and as Toph was describing what she was seeing Sokka perked up. Toph had just said that she could feel that there was a corridor behind one of the wall panels of the library, but she couldn’t see what was inside of it.

“So whatever is in there is layered with wood or too far away for you to see.”

“I can bend a tunnel so you can see if there is anything in there to use.”

“Shouldn’t we ask Aang if that’s okay? I mean he was pretty upset with my dad when he saw all the changes at the Northern Air Temple.”

“Aang is doing his morning katas and firebending training with Zuko and Iroh. I don’t want to interrupt teacher Zuko and end up with food too spicy for me to enjoy.”

So they agreed that so long as they put the wall panel back the way it was before there would be no issue. Whatever was in the corridor had been put there for a reason, most likely in an effort to keep invaders from stealing it. That got her thinking. Maybe they didn’t need to bend a tunnel. If the corridor was built before the war it must mean that there was a mechanism to open and close the door. After all, the Air Nation didn’t have earthbenders ready to open and close the corridor every time they needed to access what was on the other side.

“Hold on Toph. I want to try something.”

As Suki made her way up to the door she ran her hands along the wall. Pushing in certain areas that seemed to be more caved in than others. When she had placed her hand on the center of the wall there was a clicking sound and then scraping. The stone rumbled beneath their feet as they all waited for the wall to open their path. From what they could see so far there was only darkness and the path was narrow.

Toph and Teo elected that this would be the perfect opportunity to leave Sokka and Suki to complete their task by themselves. It would be difficult for Teo to try to wheel himself into the corridor and he wouldn’t have a table in front of him to draw whatever was found. 

Toph said it was nearing her time to go teach her pupils - meaning Aang and Haru. Haru had decided that learning different ways to earthbend couldn’t hurt and had asked Toph if he could join her teaching sessions with Aang. Never missing an opportunity to help others develop their skills she had agreed.

Grabbing a torch and attempting to prepare themselves, Sokka and Suki made their way into the darkness. The narrow path was more curved than it was long and had led up to a single wooden doorway.

_ This just keeps getting weirder and weirder. _

As they stood in front of the door, Suki realized that while there was a knob on the door there was no lock. Probably because they assumed the Fire Nation would never find this here. It was a bit anticlimactic after they opened the door. All that was in the room was a wall of books and in the very center was a podium displaying a book with orange binding.

Suki did her best to read the inscription on the front but time had weathered away some of the characters. Out of all of the books in the room, this one appeared to be the oldest and well taken care of. Sokka had made his way over to the wall of books and was reading through the inscriptions.

“Most of it appears to be documentation of proper air bending forms. While others tell the story of how the Air Nation came to be and the way they learned airbending with the help of the sky bison.”

As he continued to move his eyes along the books he stopped.

“These ones are all journals.” As gently as he could Sokka began to pull a few off of the shelf and held them close to his chest.

“I have a feeling that this is what we came here looking for. I don’t know how I know that but I do.”

“I think we need to take this one too,” Suki said with her eyes still transfixed on the book in front of her with the orange binding, “I have a gut feeling about taking this one with us.”

Grabbing everything they thought they should, Sokka and Suki made their way back into the library. As Suki entered last the wall panel behind her closed on its own. She shared a look with Sokka as if to say they were lucky the door hadn’t closed on them while they were in there.

Katara and Zuko would begin making lunch sometime soon and while waiting for the meal, Suki decided to begin reading her chosen piece still unsure of the title. As she immersed herself with the reading she realized that this book dictated the nature of Air Nomadic peoples and more.

_ Though many of us stay within the confinements of the Air Temples there are other Air Nomads who wander the world. Never settling down in one place, always on the move. Some of whom have come up with their own traditions and way of doing things that stray from the original traditions and practices of the Air Nomads. Some of whom act as servants to the Avatar in establishing a connection between the earthly plane and the spiritual plane. There is a freeness among them as they wander and contribute to the other nations.  _

_ We are often led to believe that there is a separation between the nations, I have found this to be untrue. We are all bound by similar things - duty, sacrifice, love, honor, grief, and all aspects of human life. We teach ourselves the principles that have been passed down among the generations. We praise the Avatar because he is the bridge of not only our world and the spirit world but also the bridge between nations.  _

_ Why then do we deny ourselves the ability to create our own bridges between the nations? Perhaps, as we look to the future, instead of living our lives as four individual nations we create harmony in connecting with one another. We limit ourselves in our bending capabilities by only learning from our nations when instead we can -  _

She was distracted from her reading when she heard Sokka’s sharp intake of breath. Her training as a Kyoshi warrior had taught her to remain alert even when she was distracted.

“Sokka what’s the matter?”

“These are the guarded secrets.”

“What are the guarded secrets?”

She had never seen Sokka look this pale before. Well maybe except for that time when he had eaten too much seal-squid. He looked pained and panicked right now.

“That the Air Nation wasn’t always peaceful. In fact, the reason why they became pacifists was because of what they had been doing beforehand.”

Suki had begun to walk over to Sokka and glanced over his shoulder. Her previous question had died on her lips as she stared at the illustrations on the page before her.

She felt as if Katara’s mothering instinct had taken over her body as her first thought was,  _ what are we going to tell Aang?  _

And if they did tell him, when was the right time to tell him? Before he faced Fire Lord Ozai on the day of Sozin’s Comet or afterward when he began his plans to rebuild the Air Nation?

Suki felt the pit of her stomach drop. Why would Qin have told them to look for these documents if he hadn’t already known about them beforehand? Known about how the peaceful Air Nation had once known cruelty in practice.

What were the ramifications of these secrets being found? Suki had a gut feeling that they were going to find out and that it wasn’t going to go over well. 

* * *

It had been a few days since Zuko and Katara had gotten back from their trip and he found himself liberally enjoying the fact that she didn’t hate him anymore. There was a palpable shift in the way she interacted with him, and in the way, he interacted with her. She would look at him directly and seek out his company without her being forced to do so. They practiced with one another whenever they weren’t busy and were considering doing joint lessons for Aang.

He was more than grateful that she had forgiven him. But now that just made him nervous and incredibly cautious in saying anything to her in fear of mentioning the wrong thing or ending their conversation too quickly. He fears he might let it slip up on the fact that he frequently thinks about how pretty she is. Or how he likes the sound of her laughing and the way her face is brighter when she smiles. Or how sometimes when she looks at him her eyes remind him of glaciers melting from the heat of the sun.

Everyone appeared to be in slightly better spirits now that he and Katara got along. As if they had been waiting for the animosity between them to die out before fully accepting him into their group. Aang was the only one who had given Zuko a slight problem when he had settled back into the temple. And Zuko couldn’t say that he wasn’t upset with the airbender boy either.

The first thing Aang had done when he and Katara came back to the temple was bombard her with questions. He hadn’t even considered the emotional turmoil that she was going through and didn’t even give her time to talk with her family about the excursion. Each question that came out of his mouth had increasingly grated on Zuko’s nerves to the point where he wished for Sokka’s terrible sense of humor or Toph’s blind jokes.

“No, Aang, I didn’t kill him.”

“Oh, well that’s good. I don’t know if I could have forgiven you if you did. Killing him would have been wrong. I’m glad you made the right choice and forgave him.”

Zuko still remembers the feeling of his hands forming into fists and how harshly he had bitten into his tongue, hard enough to draw blood he suspected. Katara may not have killed Yon Rha but that doesn’t mean she would have been irredeemable if she had.

In the middle of the night, Zuko often reminisces about how his heart had thumped and raced inside his chest when seeing her wield her element the way she had. How she looked like a spirit who had come to take vengeance on the world for the imbalances they have caused. To take vengeance on the people who have decimated lands and people in the name of conquest. How he was ready to be consumed by her if she had deemed him unworthy of keeping his life.

Katara’s next words to Aang had been cold, but when she had moved her gaze to look at him, stare, and give him a small smile he felt warm.

“My decisions were my own Aang, and regardless of what I did or didn’t do, you don’t get to dictate the righteousness of my actions. And I didn’t forgive him, I never will.”

She had moved until she was standing right in front of him, “but I am ready to forgive you,” he remembers how he held his breath as she threw her arms around him. How she squeezed his shoulders and when he listened closely she had thanked him with her lips pressed close to his burned ear. How when she pulled away he felt the ghost of her lips run along his scarred cheek and how her eyes burned with a new and raw intensity. 

They had fallen asleep holding one another in their cave after confronting Yon Rha. He didn’t blame her for allowing herself time to rest. He understood. She had been holding on to this emotional burden for years unable to let it go. Unable to voice the feeling of being pulled down into the chasm that held her grief.

What he hadn’t expected, was to feel so relaxed in her presence to the point that he had fallen asleep with her in his arms. They had woken up simultaneously at the sound of Appa’s groan, most likely for food and both of them had blushed profusely at the earlier position they had been in. 

It wasn’t until they were up in the sky again that he realized he had fallen asleep on the right side of his face. Something he rarely ever did. The only other person he could remember doing that with since receiving his scar was his uncle when they were aboard the ferry headed to Ba Sing Se. And in another life when his mother had still been around.

He didn’t understand how he could go from worrying about Katara throwing him off of Appa only a few days prior to feeling almost perfectly at ease in her presence. He imagines that this is what it feels like to trust someone else to look out for you. That this is what a bond of trust feels like between friends.

_ Am I even allowed to call her my friend? Or are we just acquaintances connected by mutual friends and the same goal? _

He hadn’t asked her anything or said anything regarding her actions on their trip. He didn’t feel like he needed to or that it was his place to do so either. She was entitled and just in her rage in a way he hadn’t been when he had first been burned and enduring his banishment. Like she told Aang, at the end of the day it was up to her to make her own decisions.

If his uncle asked he would deny it, but deep down he had felt a bit smug about the whole situation. Knowing that he had been privy to seeing Katara at her worst and had been the one who was there to comfort her. To be the one whom she accepted comfort from in the midst of her turmoil. 

He had purposely been avoiding meeting his uncle’s gaze for too long after he had seen a glint in the old general’s eyes upon their return. It was suspicious. Why did his uncle always seem to know something about him before he did? It was nauseating and truthfully he was afraid he may blurt out all of the things that came to mind whenever he thought about Katara.

Even days later he could still imagine the feeling of her body pressing up against his. Could still imagine how perfectly her body had fit against his and how the light had hit her face just right as she awoke. How he thought she was by far the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.

He felt a shudder run down his entire body,  _ relax Zuko, she just decided she doesn’t hate your guts no need to be fantasizing about her. That’s just wrong. _

He tried to focus his mind on other things such as Aang’s lack of response when questioned about how he was going to defeat the Fire Lord.

_ Surely Aang must know that the only feasible option is to kill Ozai during their fight. Ozai can’t be allowed to live because even if he was imprisoned he would still have supporters. Supporters who would not hesitate to break him out (if he doesn’t get out by himself) and put him back on the throne. _

Zuko sighed, he really had just stressed himself out even more. But before he could think about all of the possible ways for things to go wrong in regards to both his father and his sister Katara showed up in his line of vision and was making her way towards him. 

He attempted to force himself to act normal despite knowing that was impossible. She must have known that she was on his mind earlier and was coming to confront him. He felt sweat begin to pool in his palms.

_ Don’t be stupid Zuzu she isn’t psychic. _

For once he was thankful for his sister’s patronizing voice to slap some sense into him. He waited for Katara to come closer to him before meeting her gaze directly. To spare himself any embarrassment he allowed Katara to be the first one to speak.

“Hey, I was looking for you.”

“Y-You were looking for me? What for?”

“Well we’ve been considering joint bending lessons for Aang but we haven’t ever had the opportunity to hammer out specifics. I mean, if that is something you’re still interested in doing.”

“Of course!” He said much too enthusiastically, coughing into his hand, “I mean sure. Maybe we should get Toph in on this plan too?”

“That’s a good idea. It will also allow us to see how we all work together as a team.”

He felt warm at the word team. For so long he had thought he had to do things by himself for himself. That it was a sign of weakness to rely on others to look out for him and that if he did accept the help he wasn’t strong enough. But after joining Aang and his allies on their mission to end the war and enter an era of peace he realized that wasn’t true. 

That there was strength in knowing when to ask for help and accepting it. That being prideful could kill you just as much as any other foe. When they did win the war he hoped that his nation could come to terms with this fact. For too long they had been fed propaganda and ate it up like hungry rabbaroos, it may take them a while to understand but they would get it eventually. Just like he did.

“Um, Zuko, I’ve been meaning to ask and don’t feel like you’re obligated to tell me because you don’t have to,” Katara rambled, and he found this Katara adorable in the way there was a slight crimson flush to the brown skin of her cheeks. She picked her eyes up from the floor after having directed her attention there to meet his eyes and focused on the ruined side of his face.

If it were anyone else looking at him like that he would have flinched and recoiled against the indirect insult headed his way. But after Ba Sing Se, after she had touched that side of his face like it was still worth looking at, he couldn’t flinch when it was her. He felt his eyes close the same way they had in the crystal cave as she brushed her fingers against the edge of his scar, inhaling a sharp breath. There was a certain sense of intimacy as they stood there in silence with their heartbeats syncing.

“Can you see or hear well on this side?”

He would have shaken his head no but he was enjoying the feeling of her hand pressed against his face far too much.

“Not really. I mean I can still hear and see on this side, it just takes me longer to discern what was said or what is in front of me.”

She nodded her head as if to tell him that she had suspected that this was the case. He had to bite his tongue to prevent the whine from coming out of his mouth when she moved her hand away from his face. Focusing on his breathing he noticed that they were nearly standing chest to chest.

“I’ll be on your left side then. I mean, if that’s okay with you?”

He could hear the things she wasn’t saying.

_ Let me look out for you. Let me make sure that no one tries to exploit this hindrance. You don’t have to look out for yourself all alone. _

He felt a small smile creep its way onto his face and felt his body melt at her request. “I’d really like that.”

Her eyes sparkled in the sunlight and a smile broke onto her face and she reached to squeeze one of his hands. He squeezed back thinking that she was going to let go but instead she had pulled him into a hug and rested her head within the crook of his neck.

“If you ever want to talk about what happened. Whenever you feel comfortable. I’m always here to listen.”

As quickly as he had been pulled into her embrace he was removed from it as she pulled back. Despite being a firebender and able to regulate his body heat, he found himself missing her warmth and fought the twitch in his hand to pull her back in.

His hand must have twitched anyway and they both looked down to see that they were still holding hands. If anyone was nearby they would see the blushes dusting both of their cheeks and the way they quickly let one another’s hand go.

Katara fixed her hair to give her hands something else to do, while he clasped his hands together in front of his body.

“After lunch do you want to sit down with Toph and draw up some plans for the lessons for Aang?”

“Toph is more likely to listen after having something in her stomach so I think that would be our best bet.”

Zuko couldn’t help but laugh because of the truth of the statement. He had no doubt that the Earth Rumble champion would agree to their idea but she always made someone work for her approval. Making their way over to their supplies he helped Katara start preparing lunch making light conversation.

As the smell of lunch started drifting throughout the temple more and more people began getting ready to eat. Surprisingly, Sokka was not among the first group of people to show up like he normally was. Suki was also nowhere in sight. He assumed that they were a little preoccupied with their task and would join them soon. It wasn’t until lunch was being served that both Sokka and Suki made their presence known but from the looks of their face they had found something.

As if knowing that Zuko’s eyes were on him Sokka met his eyes and shook his head, as if to say  _ not now, ask later.  _ Nodding in response Zuko looked away from the Water Tribe Prince and to his right where Toph was sitting.

“Hey, champ. Think you can help Katara and I with something later?”

“If it’s getting you two a room most definitely.”

Zuko tried to keep his heartbeat from spiking and was grateful that everyone else was much too preoccupied with eating and engaging in conversation to hear what Toph had just said.

“Uh, no, it's definitely not that. It’s for making up joint lesson plans for Aang.”

A smile transformed her face and he didn’t know where her mind was. He had been fortunate that he wasn’t chasing their group when Toph was around. Because knowing her she would not have hesitated to crush him like a cave critter if he came after them. He also liked that she personally didn’t have any bad memories surrounding his presence and acted as a sort of surrogate sibling to him.

“Sounds like fun! I’m in. When do we start?”

“Let’s talk about it more afterward so we can get Katara’s input.”

A different smile pulled onto her face, one that was much more devious and knowing. It reminded him of his uncle. 

_ What is up with the people closest to him giving him that look? As if there is something he is ignoring that is strikingly obvious.  _

“Yeah, let’s wait for Sugar Queen’s opinion.”

As everyone finished their lunch and returned to their previous activities the only ones who remained were the three bending masters of the Avatar. The three of them spent hours coming up with the lessons and a lesson schedule. In the middle of their planning, Aang had joined them and seemed against anyone joining his lessons with Katara.

“I just think that when I waterbend I should focus on waterbending alone, not another element.”

“Aang, it's for the best. Combining your use of all of the elements is essential in you learning how to control them better. And hey, maybe we can get days where Suki and Sokka join the lessons to allow you to fight opponents who are non-benders.”

Aang had looked dejected at Katara’s insistence that the lessons be joined and had grumbled his agreement shortly after.

The next months were going to be difficult he could just tell. Aang’s crush on Katara was distracting him and as much as Zuko didn’t blame the boy for crushing on her he needed to focus. As much as they could and would help him the day of the comet, it was still his actions that would determine whether or not the war ended.

He would tell the airbender this himself but he had a sneaking suspicion that Aang would think this would be Zuko’s attempt to “steal” Katara away from him. Maybe his uncle could offer some good advice to the young Avatar. If not, Zuko was afraid that Aang’s attachment and refusal to let Katara go would get them all killed.

_ Agni, help us all. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating so late! My college mid-terms started this week, so I have been swamped with schoolwork. But I am planning on getting another chapter up soon. This chapter is dedicated to all my homies who leave comments, especially KingMegz who gave me the idea of Zuko calling Toph champ and makes me laugh.
> 
> Question of the chapter: What is your honest opinion of Ozai?  
> Answer: Ozai is a bitch. A whole-ass bitch. I mean this man literally has so much audacity for no reason. His military feats are a result of his daughter's direct intervention and yet he thinks he's top shit? Sir, I have met customer service workers who have more strength. I can't wait for him to catch this fade.
> 
> Feel free to answer this question yourselves! 
> 
> xoxo


	8. Fracturing

She was losing control.

Azula was losing control. Of everything.

When she had heard her father tell her he was sending her on a chase after her brother she felt a sort of deja vu. But instead of kneeling before the man behind a wall of fire, she sat across from him at dinner. She heard him voice his concerns.

_You know he’s lying to you. He told you what he did because Zuko is a problem and so is the Avatar. He knows you failed him once. Knows that you are undeserving of his mercy. He should teach you a lesson. Burn you the way he did your brother. It’s what you deserve. But instead, he’s giving you a chance to redeem yourself. He’s putting the situation lightly to spare you embarrassment._

He had equipped her with a small fleet of airships and had sent her on her way after dinner. Declaring that he had already made preparations for her to start her journey. Before leaving she managed to make a short stop at her room to gather a handful of things she wanted to bring with her. Making sure that she grabbed her newfound treasure.

Sitting aboard the airship now she wishes she could have brought Ty Lee with her, or at least left her a message telling her where she was off to.

_You’re going soft Azula. You let that girl run all over you and dictate what you should do. You should show her that you have all of the power. Go back to Boiling Rock and make an example of Mai. Show her that there is no room for mercy for disappointments. Hurt Mai and that will show her. Hurt Mai and you’ll hurt Zuko._

Azula felt like she was drowning. In her thoughts, in her body, in her clothes. She felt sluggish carrying the weight of her body and her bones felt brittle inside her skeleton. Aching. Aching as if she made the slightest wrong turn her body would fracture like glass.

She wanted to hurt Mai, that's true. But Azula knew better. Hurting Mai wouldn’t hurt Zuko. Sure he probably cared about her in some capacity but it wouldn’t hurt him so severely that he would break down hearing if any harm had come to her. He hadn’t even looked back to see if she was okay when he escaped from Boiling Rock even knowing what was in store for her due to her betrayal. There has also been no news about him going back after Mai, and Azula doubted he would even if he didn’t care about the risks.

If she wanted to hurt her brother she would have to go after the people he cared about. 

_Tell him you’ve found your mother. Tell him you lit her body alight with strikes of lightning just like you did the Avatar. Tell him how you laughed and burned down her shop, and destroyed everything precious to her. How you took pleasure watching her body melt under the constant pressure and heat of your azure flames._

That could potentially work but for some reason, she didn’t feel like she had it in her to lie to him about that. Especially not after she had found her mother’s letter. Pulling at her hair Azula muffled her scream inside her throat. She was burning up. Being pulled apart at the seams.

Azula’s mind flashes with the memory of a doll from the Earth Kingdom that her uncle had sent her. When he was still revered for laying siege to the walls of Ba Sing Se. The great Dragon of the West. She remembers glaring at the doll in anger and lighting her on fire. Back when her flames had been pitiful and red. Back when she was jealous that her uncle had sent Zuko a knife and her a toy.

_Stop it. Stop it. Stop it._

Azula felt like that doll now. With its seams being undone as the fire bit into the cloth of her dress and hair. Felt the eyes of another watching her as she burned and was reduced to nothingness.

_Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Do you forget yourself? You are the conqueror of Ba Sing Se! Not even Uncle Iroh managed to bring the great city to its knees. You wield blue flames! You are named after your grandfather Azulon who committed glorious acts in the name of the Fire Nation._

Azula’s stomach rolled with sickness. What did it matter of her achievements? Her life was like a storybook, written down on pages for all to see. She was the character of the story, facing unbeatable odds and enemies and bringing them to their knees before her. She had power and strength but she didn’t know how her story ended. No, her story was the orchestration of her author - her father.

_He knew you were pulling away from him. It’s your fault you’re here on this airship and not back home. He can’t control you right now. Look at you! You’re a mess with your missing clumps of hair and slumped posture. Ha! He doesn’t even know you’re losing your mind._

_Imagine what he’ll do to you then when he finds out you are too much of a liability rather than an ally? Which side do you think he’ll burn? Huh? Will it be the right side or the left? Will he see too much of your brother as you kneel before him and give you the same burn and scar to match?_

Azula’s nails bit into the rough sheets of her bed and thumped her head against the wall over and over again. Trying to silence the voice in her head. Why was everything so loud? Why couldn’t she breathe? She was spiraling, and if anyone got too close they would see it too. She would have to be careful when she finds Zuko, he’ll know just by looking at her if she was losing control.

Unshed tears burned in her eyes and she felt like burning everything in her path. But there was no land in sight for her to land on if she were falling from the wreckage of the burned airship. She would also have to explain to her father what had happened and he would know. He would know if she were lying because she isn’t as good as she was before at covering up her mistakes. At masking herself.

Azula’s skin felt thin as if it had been flattened and stretched. As if she had aged so much within the past few months that if she were to look in the mirror any day now she would look like her uncle. Gray and disappointing, unworthy of any honor or glory.

She needed to focus. She needed to figure out where the Avatar and his friends were hiding. She doubted he would have wandered far away from the Fire Nation and that was proved to her when her brother ended up at Boiling Rock. They could potentially be on the outskirts of one of the Earth Kingdom territories, in a Fire Nation colony or town, or taken up inhabiting the closest Air Temple. 

With the Dai Li now under her control she had sent them to patrol the Earth Kingdom territories under the Fire Nation’s control earlier. Utilizing the communication towers and messenger hawks she was made aware that there had been no sightings of the Avatar’s flying bison.

She had made an effort to stop at a few of the colonies and towns closest to Caldera but had come up empty-handed. Truthfully, she hadn’t put much effort into searching the colonies or the towns but had left it to the guards accompanying her. Something was telling her to go to the Air Temple - the Western one. That she would find her brother and the Avatar if she went there now instead of giving him time to formulate an escape plan.

She didn’t know if she wanted to find Zuko though. Her father undoubtedly expects her to kill him so that he can no longer pose a threat to his reign and later hers. To kill every single last person with him too so that they cannot retaliate and bring an invasion upon the capital city again.

She thinks back on how she had found out about the invasion in the first place. How that idiot of a King had sung like an owl-jay the minute he had thought they were his allies. But then again, he hadn’t even known there was a war or that his own advisor was working against him. 

She thinks about Long Feng’s astonishment at realizing that his precious Dai Li agents chose her as their authority over him. Thinks about how the Dai Li betrayed their own people for a foreign Princess whose only goal was winning the war for the Fire Nation.

She thinks about a cave of glowing green crystals and watching as her uncle urged her brother not to listen to her. Hears the ringings and the clashes of the elements during that epic fight. Where that waterbender had sliced her hair and she had realized that the girl in blue was not someone she could beat. 

How she had been a little afraid of not being able to fight back when the waterbender had gotten the advantage. How she had been grateful that Zuko chose her and protected her against the other girl. How she had gone after the Avatar who wasn’t nearly as strong as he should be.

She feels like she is there again. She can taste the electricity that dances at her fingertips and watches as it makes its way towards her enemy. Watches as tears pool out of the waterbender’s eyes and rides a wave over to the boy’s body.

That lightning should have killed him. It did. Azula remembers not seeing his body move at all - no signs of inhaling or exhaling.

_Then how could it be that he miraculously survived? You are being arrogant about your abilities Princess Azula, you may not be as good as you think you are._

Azula knows that she is a creature of precision. Knows that when she had struck down the Avatar she had struck him dead. But how could she say that when he had appeared before her on the Day of Black Sun? Did they put him in a spirit pond of some kind and it healed him? What could counteract the power and destruction of lightning?

Azula liked puzzles - at least one’s she could understand and had tangible pieces. But this puzzle had pieces missing and Azula hated puzzles with missing pieces. After all, what was the point of doing a puzzle if you couldn’t see the entire end result because of missing pieces? Even when you try to ignore it there is this gaping hole right where the piece should be but it isn’t.

In the darkness of her room with only the glow of the moon for light, Azula felt exhausted. Physically and mentally. As if she were carrying boulders as big as the one’s the Dai Li could manipulate around in her head and on her person. She was exhausted but she couldn’t sleep. She had gone searching for some form of alcohol on the airship and in the quarters of those on board with her and had found nothing.

She had taken to dusting the under arches of her eyes with powder to hide the purple-blue nearly black bags that were prominent. She had been having difficulty sleeping before she had seen her mother but after her return from Hira’a it was almost nonexistent. She had been consumed with her desire - no. Her need to find what her mother had left her.

She wishes she hadn’t found it. Maybe she would have made peace with the voices running amok in her head and found a way to sleep. But she knows herself better than that. Knows that the voices would have called her a coward.

_What? Not afraid to conquer and squash those who oppose you under your heel, but too afraid to find and read your mother's letter? How pathetic._

The letter had been slightly longer than she had originally suspected. She had thought after first hearing about it that her mother had been concise. Had made no effort in the message she left behind for her daughter. She had been surprised when she found it.

She had found it by accident. Seething with anger at being unable to find it and tearing her room apart. Collapsing on the floor from her exhaustion but still managing to drag her stiletto pointed nails along her floor. The heel of her hand had almost missed it. Had almost missed the part of her flooring that was loose.

Forgetting how tired she was she had yanked and pulled at the piece until it had come out. Had blindly shoved her hand in the hole now in the middle of her floor to find something. _Anything._ Closing her eyes out of desperation she felt the smooth planes of the envelope and had hurried to put everything back the way it was.

The envelope was red and inside there was a pressed firelily. When she had held it close to her nose and inhaled she could still smell its aroma. _Firelillies had always been her mother’s favorite flower._ She had been delicate with the flower. Had placed it alongside her bed as she prepared herself for the message that was left behind for her.

She let the cold of her floor bite into the backs of her thighs through her clothes to steady her. Perhaps she hadn’t been ready enough.

_Dear Azula,_

_I know that I have not been the best mother to you. My first instinct tends to be to correct you but it is never with the same loving kindness I give to your brother. I wish that I had been better, that I could be better._

_You are so incredibly bright and intelligent. You can manage to outwit anyone who dares cross you and that scares me. To see you so grown up. To act as if you don’t need anyone or anything - not even me._

_You are so incredibly brave and strong but I fear that you never allow yourself to feel. Did you know that you didn’t cry the day you were born? Not even when you had been subjected to the light of the sun. You just closed your eyes and basked in the rays. I remember thinking about how precious you looked._

_Watching you and your brother grow, I knew what happiness felt like. But I was a fool. A fool for letting your father be your main source of affection - for he does not love, he is incapable of it. He will weaponize you and use you to benefit himself. I don’t want that for you, my love. I want you to grow and become the wisest and most beautiful Fire Princess that I know you will be._

_I want you to fall in love and have that person love you back. I want you to always have your brother by your side and for him to always have you._

_I know your father thinks your brother is weak, but there is strength in kindness and compassion. Let him be that for you, my dear girl. Let him love you in the way you wouldn’t allow me._

_I am sorry to tell you that I have to leave. I wrote you this letter because I wanted you to have something to hold on to, as well as to explain why I am no longer with you. I have every intention of telling you in person but I suspect you will be asleep before I leave._

_You were right. Your father was planning on killing your brother. But I am prepared to do whatever necessary to protect him. And if it were you he was going after I wouldn’t hesitate to do the same for you. I wish we had more time. That I had more time to show you how much I love you._

_Your father has forbidden me from taking the both of you with me, forbidden me from even sending either of you letters. I hope you don’t begin to hate me in my absence. For even when I am away, my heart will still ache and long to be with you and your brother. And if you ever miss me go out and smell the firelillies together and think of me._

_You are destined for great things Azula, and they don’t have to be what your father wants. I only hope that you will allow yourself to do that. Take care, my dear. Know that I always love you._

_With all my love,_

_Your mother, Ursa_

She wept and she mourned.

Wept and mourned for the girl she could be if she had found the letter. For the things she could have done, the way she could have lived. For the severed ties between her and her brother only days after their mother’s disappearance. Wept for the embrace that she wanted when her father displayed his cruelty. Wept because she had never done so before. 

She had curled into a ball on her floor clutching the letter to her chest. For so long she had been groomed to believe her mother hated her. Had thought of her as some vile creature with no humanity. But that wasn’t what she thought.

Azula wanted to believe that all the words on the pages were lies. Lies to make her doubt her father and explain away her mother’s behavior. But she couldn’t fight the gut-wrenching feeling that they weren’t lies.

She had been in a daze for days after finding the letter. Here but not here, never present in the conversations that took place around her. No wonder her father had given her something to do. He needed her to be active and do something for his benefit.

After reading the letter she felt as if a monster rose inside of her and was inhabiting her skin with her. No wonder her body feels so much heavier and breakable. Why her skin feels stretched so thin that a strong gust of wind could split her in two. She couldn’t see the monster, but it was there.

Sitting alone in her room under the moon she doesn’t know what to do. Thousands of thoughts running through her mind of what needs to be done. Her father would expect results soon. Azula wonders if she hits her head hard enough on the metal wall of the airship if it would knock her out. At least enough to get some sleep. She was willing to deal with the pain of that action in the morning, but Spirits, she just wanted to sleep.

With her eyes still on the moon, Azula didn’t realize that for the first time in months her body would allow itself a moment of true rest. Where she would wake up feeling like her skin fit her and the weight was bearable. As if the glow of the moon had healed her.

Azula dreamed of arcs of lightning headed towards an unknown assailant and neverending blue irises. 

* * *

Sokka really hated it when his sleep was interrupted. But this rumbling sound wasn’t something that could be avoided. He also hadn’t been getting a good amount of sleep keeping in the secrets he and Suki had found. He felt terrible about not telling Aang but he didn’t know what the best time was to unload all of this information on him.

Sokka awoke to the scent of fire and had felt it nearly singe the tips of his hair. Jolting upright Sokka whipped the sleep out of his eyes when seeing the fleet of airships. He looked around him to see plenty of people up and about looking up at the airships in fear.

On one side, Chit Sang and Iroh had taken it upon themselves to usher other inhabitants out of the line of fire and take the brunt of the attack. Breaking apart volleys of fire and returning some of their own. Toph and Haru were on the other, hurling boulders up at the airships and doing their best to damage them.

Sokka scrambled to get himself out of his bedding and pack up their supplies that were still strewn on the floor. Following his lead, Longshot and Smellerbee helped organize and put together the other materials. Sokka headed in the other direction to load Appa with the main Team Avatar members’ belongings while they went to the stolen airship.

_Looks like we’re splitting up sooner than we thought._

It was necessary though even if it's bittersweet. He was just going to miss having his dad around.

On his way to Appa, he watched as Zuko pushed Suki out of the way and had curled his body around Katara to protect her from the brunt of her body hitting the floor. Moments later he saw a piece of the temple topple to the floor and felt his heart surge that Zuko had looked out for both of the girls.

“We need to get to Appa and get out of here! Dad and the others have their plans and we have ours. We need to go. Now!”

That set them into action as both Suki and Katara grabbed stuff from his arms to carry. Zuko on the other hand, had run toward the airships.

_I know this dude is never happy and all, but seriously? Death wish?_

But he trusted Zuko, and if he was headed towards the firebenders currently trying to kill them he was going to let him do it.

“Toph, let’s go! Haru, you know where to go!”

_I don’t see dad, Katara and I won’t get to say goodbye to dad._

He wanted to be hung up on that fact, but watching as Iroh saw his nephew go to stand off against whoever was on those airships made him rethink not advising his friend to do otherwise. They really didn’t have time for this but Iroh was a good man and had helped everyone several times. Reacting on his impulses rather than sense Sokka quickly ducked and dogged punches of fire headed his way and went to usher Iroh and Chit Sang to where they needed to go.

“You both have to go. Don’t worry about Zuko, we aren’t going to let anything happen to him.”

“I am grateful my nephew has found such kind friends. He has needed it.”

With that Iroh and Chit Sang ran, but Iroh had still looked back several times even while boarding their airship. Sokka allowed himself a few more seconds to try and look through the windows to get a glance at his father. His dad must have known this because he was at one of the windows and had stared at him.

Closing his eyes and bringing his finger up to his forehead, Sokka watched as his father imaginarily drew a symbol on his forehead. _The Mark of the Wise_. Sokka would cry later but as of right now he nodded and ran back to Appa before his sister could start yelling at him.

Everyone was on top of Appa except for Zuko and were in the air in moments. Aang and Momo guided Appa through the smoke and fire adjacent to them. Katara’s eyes were looking back at the airships and squinting trying to make out who was attacking them.

He had a sneaking suspicion it was Azula. After all, Team Avatar was proving to be a thorn in the Fire Lord’s side; he doubts they would be allowed to live for very long.

He watched as his suspicions were proven to be correct as Azula’s blue flames rushed to consume her brother. He watched the back and forth of blue and red and felt dizzy in anticipation of who was going to come out the winner. Yet, brother and sister were equally matched in this fight and had blasted each other off the top of the airship they had been standing on only moments prior.

Aang, seeing Zuko falling through the air, had moved Appa through the air to head in Zuko’s direction. Sokka had expected for Zuko to just fall into Appa’s saddle but was proven wrong as his body whizzed past his head and instantly regretted not reaching out to grab his friend. He would have panicked but his sister’s hand had reached up to grab Zuko’s in a flash and had grasped onto him pulling him into the saddle. She had pulled him with so much force that he ended up knocking her over and was currently draped over her body.

Quickly realizing the position they were in he pushed up off of her and tried to hide his flushed face. Katara had scrambled away from him, nearly bumping into Toph, and had looked away from him fixing her hair.

Sokka watched the interaction with interest. Katara had given him and their father a rough outline of what happened on her trip with Zuko. Only going into details when badgered with questions. Had said that Zuko had kept her safe and took the brunt of any attack placing his body in front of her as a shield. Had said that in the midst of her anger she had used her bloodbending against the current Southern Raiders’ captain. Had said that she had Yon Rha cowering at her feet but couldn’t go through with killing him.

He didn’t blame her at all for what she did. She was right when she said that none of those raiders were innocent and that they deserved to be afraid for just one moment. La, he didn’t even blame her for bloodbending the captain who had been ready to harm her but couldn’t.

He almost felt like he had been there when she described her interaction with Yon Rha. Feeling the water take on its own rhythm, matching his sister’s heartbeat. Hearing his sister’s threat about someone eventually coming for the retired captain. Had felt anger and grief surge when his sister had told them what Yon Rha’s orders were - the title he had gotten by murdering their mother.

Sokka had wondered that if Yon Rha had known Katara was the waterbender and not their mother would he have killed her? Or would he have forced her to survive a journey across the seas to the capital city and given her as a prize to the royal family? He felt his body shudder at the idea of his sister being forced to be a playmate with the Fire Princess.

From the way Yon Rha had spoken to his sister, Sokka’s contemplations of her being killed or captured ceased. Yon Rha would have killed Katara. Killed a girl who was only 7 just because she could bend water. Would have robbed his family of a daughter, and him a sister. Would have robbed Aang of his resurrection from the ice.

When this war ended Sokka hoped that Yon Rha got what he deserved. And if it was Iroh or Zuko sitting on the throne he hoped they would make sure that man would suffer. Sokka doesn’t know if he would be able to show the same restraint his sister did. Doesn’t know if his father would be able to either.

Katara had given rather short answers about what had happened after her confrontation with Yon Rha. Had left it as simple as ‘Zuko comforted me, that’s all you need to know.’ But after having seen the dynamic between the two of them now as opposed to their earlier interactions there had to have been more.

_So long as it was mutual, it isn’t my business. Besides, Zuko’s brave but I don’t know if he’s brave enough to be in a relationship with Katara. She gets grumpy when things don’t go her way._

Despite having to flee their former hideout Sokka smiled to himself. _Koh_ _he was funny_.

“So where can we go now that Azula found us?”

“Well, that prophecy said something about Ember Island right? Maybe we should head there.”

“My family has a vacation home there that we can stay in. We won’t have to worry about anyone looking for us there either. My family hasn’t been inside of that house in years.”

Setting their course to Ember Island, Sokka let his mind run in all different directions. The last line Qin had directed towards them was: _to the island then you must go, where your spirit will be made as smooth as stone._ He couldn’t help but feel like this was a sign. One that said, ‘hey buddy you should definitely tell your friend that everything he knows about his Nation is kind of wrong,’ but as nicely as possible.

He and Suki had talked for hours about what they should do and how they should do it. They both knew they would have to tell him eventually, but did it have to be now? A small part of Sokka wanted to throw it in Aang’s face every time he brought up the monks in a conversation but had thought against it.

He already knew how Aang was going to act too. And that same part that wants to just throw it in Aang’s face is drained at contemplating comebacks to the young boy’s inevitable insults. The one’s calling him a liar, telling him he’s cruel and wrong. But how could Sokka be wrong when it's written in a text by someone who isn’t him?

When he had confided in Iroh about this the old man had told him that sometimes we can’t protect people from everything. That there would come a time where Aang would have to know. But that they shouldn’t tell him in a fit of anger and frustration but rather out of concern and care.

That was the thing though, Aang was kind of an emotional leech. He took and took and took without really giving anything back. Sokka didn’t know if he had it in him to have this conversation with a level head and didn’t want to burden the rest of his friends either. Yes, they were Aang’s friends but they had things to deal with too and weights to carry by themselves. This wasn’t a weight they could carry for Aang and his lack of desire to grow up and make hard decisions was likely to hurt people.

Aang is also possessive. He is especially possessive of Katara and of the narrative he had designed concerning her, and the reality he had created in his head of them being together after the war. Without even consulting her first. Katara cared about Aang, Sokka was sure of that but there were different types of ways that we care about people. Sokka didn’t even need eyes to know that the love that Aang wants Katara to feel for him isn’t the type being reciprocated.

She may feel that she has to stay with Aang out of obligation. Tell everyone that he’s just a kid and he needs her. But Sokka won’t let her reduce herself to that. He’ll tell her that she has obligations of her own too - to her tribe and herself - and that while Aang is a kid he would need to figure things out for himself.

Sokka didn’t want to be the bad guy but knew that was how he was going to be seen. Looking down at the journals he and Suki had found he felt his stomach fill with dread. He needed to consult his sister, she was best at navigating emotions, and he would try his best to curb her desire to protect Aang first and worry about the consequences later.

Sokka watched the clouds his sister manipulated to keep them hidden in the sky. For some reason, he felt a storm coming and he didn’t know if he was going to be able to survive this one. He only hoped his friends could.

* * *

Sokka had asked her to take a walk with him down the shoreline after dinner the day they arrived at their new temporary home. The tone in which he asked had a hint of desperation and was filled with concern and worry. When she had asked him what was wrong he had said he just felt like he needed some ‘sibling bonding time.’

They had walked in relative silence for a while and relied on the glow of the moon to guide their path along the shore. Sokka had all but collapsed on the ground as soon as the laughter and glow of their campfire couldn’t be seen. He heaved and took his head in his hands, his bag falling between his thighs.

“I don’t know what to do Katara.”

“About what?”

She had noticed that in the past few days the bags under Sokka’s eyes had gotten darker and darker. Whatever he had to tell her was something that was weighing on him heavily.

“Suki and I found something. Something that would probably hurt Aang, but something that he needs to know. I don’t want to hurt him but he deserves the truth and I just don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to be attentive to his feelings when I’m already frustrated knowing what his reaction is going to be.”

She sat by her brother's side and looked out toward the ocean.

“What did you find?”

Sokka had hesitantly handed her his bag containing the journals he had taken from the Air Temple. She had been delicate while handling them and flipping through the pages. Her heart sped up and ached as she looked at the illustrations on the page. The ones that showed different methods in how to suck the air out of an entire room. The few that showed how to rob someone of the breath inside their lungs. Others discussed how to change the air pressure around a person’s body or within their body.

It was dangerous and it went against everything Aang said that the Air Nomads were about. But Aang was still young and he couldn’t have been introduced to his nation’s dark history at such an early age. Katara felt stumped and unaware of what to do. She couldn’t protect Aang from this even if she wanted to and she feared that if they tried, it would be another repeat of what happened at the Southern Air Temple. At the same time, she didn’t want another repeat of what happened in the Si Wong desert.

Katara felt bone-tired at the prospect of having to carry the brunt of Aang’s emotional turmoil. She sighed and thought about what she could do to comfort her brother. 

“Let’s wait a week and see how he settles into where we are now. Then we can think about it again. But if we keep it a secret any longer he may feel like we betrayed him by not being honest.”

He had listened to her, and they waited a week.

Aang had been doing well and they all had fallen into their new daily schedules with ease. Every other day they would have their joint bending lessons and it wasn’t only a learning experience for Aang, but for all of them as well. They would give one another pointers about things they could fix or modify to protect themselves better or to make an attack stronger.

Even on days where they didn’t have those lessons, Katara and Zuko still found time for themselves to spar. Sometimes they didn’t spar, rather they stood equidistant to one another and practiced their forms in silence. Listening to the hiss of his fire and the ambiance of the ocean in front of them.

Katara found herself seeking out Zuko’s presence more and more. It calmed her and soothed her racing mind whenever she reminded herself of what Aang needed to find out.

She and Zuko would decide the day before who was going to make breakfast and who was going to make lunch. Even if it wasn’t their meal to cook, oftentimes either of them could be found in the kitchen helping the other. They still cooked dinner together though. It was _nice_. She didn’t feel like she had to force a conversation or weigh in on his personal problems. Zuko was quiet and he let her work beside him without making her feel like she had to go above and beyond to make these moments matter to him.

When they did speak to one another, gone was the previous animosity that laced her words. There was something else there. Something that she couldn’t name, but was present in all of their talks. He may not be exceptionally good at giving advice all of the time but he was a great listener. It was on the fourth day of their stay on Ember Island when she told him about the journals.

“When I was looking and reading what was on those pages,” her body shuddered with revulsion, “it goes against everything Aang has been taught to believe. Sokka and I agreed to wait a week to see how he settles in here but I don’t know how to go about bringing up the subject.”

He hadn’t really known what to say but still did his best to comfort her and offered suggestions.

“We could all try talking to him after breakfast, the day that marks a week of being here? Bad news may go down easier on a full stomach.”

She had to fight off a smile when he had said that. He was so genuine and soft-spoken at that moment and had looked at her directly. He may have been trying to tell her something with his eyes but she got distracted by his golden irises. How they glowed even when the sun wasn’t shining on them.

“Neither you nor your brother nor Suki should take it on yourselves to have to go about talking to him about this alone.”

She had been ready to interrupt him but he was still staring at her with his piercing gaze.

“I know that you’re usually the one who carries all of the emotional burdens around here Katara but with what you’re talking about, none of you should have to do that alone. Aang’s reaction to hearing about this is going to affect us all, so we should all be participants in the conversation.”

She took his advice and let Sokka know that she let Zuko in on their secret and his advice. Sokka must have trusted Zuko’s judgment as well because the next day Toph was in on it too.

It was the calm before the storm and they all waited with bated breath to find out what was going to happen next.

Despite knowing how this was going to go, Katara wished they could have found a way to be better prepared. Could have found a way to make this easier on the child airbender, but there was no kind way to put the discovery Sokka and Suki had made.

They had let Suki start first, telling Aang that there may be a possibility of other Air Nomads still being alive, or at least descendants of the Air Nation. She had spoken about how the book she had found said that there were plenty of groups of Air Nomads who were actually nomads. How some had moved out of the temples and made their own lives all around the world. She had said that she was unsure about the ways they had strayed from traditions and practices native to the Air Nation.

Aang had been ecstatic when he heard the news that there was a possibility that he wasn’t the only one left of his people. That there may be others like him out there. With the possibility that the parents wouldn’t know if their child was able to bend air if the wind just so happened to pick up slightly when the child was dealing with strong emotions. Wouldn’t know how to teach or test them in their abilities so that they can get a handle of their bending.

For some reason, an acrobat in pink came to Katara’s mind. _Ty Lee is her name, right?_ Ty Lee had moved through the air with such grace as if it were her domain of existence. 

“Maybe Ty Lee is an airbender. I mean we all have fought her at least once and know how she moves. Almost as if she’s manipulating the air around her and flying.”

“That would explain why she knows and cares so much about auras and chi. She always says that positivity and optimism are healthy for the skin.” Zuko had rolled his eyes at that last part.

“I see it. I mean if you try to take away the braid and look at her closely she has a lot of resemblances that look like you, Aang.”

“Well, maybe we can try to get her on our side then! The monks always said that everyone is capable of a second chance, we can give Ty Lee that second chance.” Aang had beamed at all of them and Katara felt like the pit in her stomach had taken up rotting expeditiously. 

“Aang, we found some more things besides the book Suki read.” She didn’t need to utilize any ability to know that her brother's heart was racing. Rather than try to make up excuses or apologize, Sokka had presented Aang with all of the journals.

Katara had gripped Zuko’s hand that had been resting beside her as she waited for Aang to say something. With each turn of the page, the scowl on Aang’s face grew deeper and deeper. They were just waiting for the inevitable blow.

“I don’t believe any of this! None of this is true! I bet the Fire Nation made these books and shoved them in our library to make us look bad. To make the Air Nomads look like they could have fought back. And you all are foolish in believing these lies too! You claim to know me so well but do you honestly think I would be capable of doing any of these things?”

His grey eyes turning near black in the midst of his rage had focused in on her at the word foolish. As if this argument was being directed at her alone despite him saying ‘you all’.

“Aang. Sokka and Suki found those hidden in a corridor that had not been accessed in a long time based on the dust accumulation. Just because you aren’t capable of it doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”

“Stop trying to make us out to be bad people, Katara! We aren’t like the Fire Nation and we aren’t like you who gives into your anger whenever it's convenient for you. We’re kind and compassionate and that is the ONLY way the Air Nation went about life.”

“That’s rich coming from you because all you do when you don’t get your way is lash out at me. Look at you right now! You’re being told something that goes against what you know and you are angry at us for telling you the truth.”

“Yeah, newsflash TwinkleToes, but what did you actually learn about in history class way back when? Because if those books and journals were hidden instead of being put in your library I doubt it made its way into your learning curriculum.”

“We didn’t tell you this to hurt you Aang, we told you because you deserved to hear the truth. We’re supposed to be your friends but right now you’re treating us like an inconvenience because we aren’t telling you what you want to hear.”

“Ugh! I can’t deal with any of you right now.” With that, Aang ran off to go get his glider and disappeared.

Having let go of Zuko’s hand amidst her argument with Aang, Katara cradled her head in her hands. She didn’t regret telling him it was a weight that they shouldn’t have to carry, but she really does wish that Aang could have seen reason. Could have seen that they were just trying to be there for him.

Feeling a warm palm make contact with her back and rub up and down she looked to her side up at Zuko. 

“We did what we could. We can’t blame ourselves for the way he took it. We can only hope that he comes around and talks with us.”

For the remainder of the day, they went about doing things in sets of two or three. To avoid having to be alone with their thoughts.

Night had fallen and Aang was still nowhere to be found. She hopes that he will come back soon, the world still needs him.

Drifting off to sleep she dreams of koi fish and dragons and wonders what it could mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing for Azula hits different. Thank you for reading! Feel free to let me know your thoughts about the chapter, on my response to the question of the chapter, your answer to the question, or just about how your week is going. Indulge me and go crazy!
> 
> Question of the chapter: What is one random opinion you have about ATLA?  
> Answer: I think it's kind of weird that in the fortune-teller episode, Aang and Sokka are given the idea that they can change their destiny and don't have to rely on what Aunt Wu told them. But when it comes to Katara her destiny has to be fulfilled - she has to marry a powerful bender. Like a sister is powerful enough on her own, and I feel like Bryke's handling of the situation to have Sokka say that Aang is a powerful bender is a cop-out. Like Aang is the Avatar, obviously, he's going to be a powerful bender. But why couldn't they have Aunt Wu's prediction say something about how Katara and her future husband were going to be equally matched and respect each other? That she wouldn't fall into his shadow and relegated as being so and so's wife? In regards to her relationship to Aang, there are instances where Katara is relegated to being Aang's caretaker not his equal and a sister does not like that. So in conclusion, fuck Bryke.
> 
> xoxo


	9. Translucent

It had been weeks. 

Yet she still couldn’t fight her rising panic every time she left home.

Even the peaceful aura of her shop had felt disrupted - the animosity in her daughter's eyes having scorched the floorboards and serving as a reminder of her failures.

She felt like she was in the palace once again, feels like something is crawling all over her body so much like the eyes that used to watch her. The eyes and ears that spied on her for Ozai, contemplating their next move.

After marrying Ozai, Ursa had become paranoid and second-guessed nearly every decision she had ever made. After being banished from Caldera she was still paranoid but had felt more relaxed in her environment. She doubted that Ozai would search for her in her hometown, most likely thinking that she would have fled to an Earth Kingdom province for refuge. 

It had been years since she was confined to the walls of the palace and somehow she still felt trapped. Trapped in her skin. Unwillingly trapped on this gameboard of life wondering when the end was coming.

Ursa had never second-guessed her decision to protect her children by any means necessary. But after seeing Azula and listening to her words she was beginning to doubt herself.

Instead of poison herbs, her daughter used poison words.

The words had made a home in the space between Ursa’s ribs and were beginning to fester and take control of her body. She no longer knew what to do and couldn’t find it in herself to find counsel in her lover.

Ikem had been the love of her life before she was approached by Azulon and Ozai for her hand in marriage. She had longed for him when she was the Fire Princess and still did even after she bore Ozai two children. They hadn’t found each other until the third year of her banishment but when they had it felt like the ache in her chest lessened.

They had been together for nearly five years and had a daughter - _Kiyi._ Yet the pain of leaving her children in Ozai’s clutches never went away. There were days where she would stare out the window and wonder where life had led them.

She wondered about their progress in bending and in politics. Wondered if they had made genuine friends who they could lean on during troubling times. Wondered if they had bridged the gap in their relationship and took care of one another. Wondered if they would get to live a life without war.

She hoped the Spirits wouldn’t curse her for this but she had prayed that misfortune would befall Ozai. To take his life and spare that of so many. To spare her the pain and fear of spending the rest of her life looking over her shoulder to ensure that he wasn’t going to find her. To give Zuko and Azula the chance to meet and know Kiyi. To give her the opportunity to make up for all the time she lost.

Realistically she knew that she should probably tell Ikem the reason why she had been so out of it. But she feared that he wouldn’t understand and that it would ruin the fragile peace that she had built here. There were many things that she didn’t speak to him about - the abuse she faced at the hands of Ozai, life in the palace, and the expanding chasm of agony whenever she missed her children.

She couldn’t tell him that there were moments where she thought she could convince herself that Ozai was capable of loving someone other than himself. Loving something other than his thirst for power and conquest. She couldn’t tell him that in the first few years of their marriage there were times where she thought Ozai was handsome - with the flickers of lightning gracing his fingertips and casting shadows across the contours of his face.

But those feelings were fleeting whenever he opened his mouth. Whenever he held her wrists with more force than necessary. When the bruises blossomed across her skin.

She couldn’t tell him that there were days she missed her garden. The garden with the turtleducks and an array of flowers. The garden where her children played and she read them stories and letters from their uncle.

As she rocked in her chair watching the moon cast shadows over her daughter's face she excruciatingly recognizes the similarities between Kiyi and Azula. Once again she wonders. Wonders if she is treating Kiyi as a replacement for the daughter she wanted in Azula. Wonders if Kiyi is who Azula would have been like if she had gotten the love and attention she deserved. Raised without competition or talks of forcing people into subjugation. 

The tears begin to pool in her eyes and she makes no effort to remove them. She will likely wake with a headache and puffy red eyes in the morning but she feels as if she deserves this punishment.

_You left them there. You left them there with him knowing that he couldn’t be trusted. Knowing that he was cruel._

Ursa bites her trembling lip as a sob makes its way from her throat and she feels her body cave as she falls to the floor in a heap. She drags herself closer to Kiyi’s bed and uses her remaining strength to climb in next to her. Clasping onto her little body as if she is salvation and forgiveness itself.

She has had trouble sleeping. Often waking in the middle of the night as her dreams repeat her reunion with Azula. There is a chill in her bones that she cannot usher away when she looks again into Azula’s glowing eyes.

There was animosity there, but also so much pain. Pain that she had indirectly caused and she wishes that there was another way. Wishes that there had been another way to protect Zuko from dying that night even if it meant she had to stay shackled in that gilded cage.

_I should have pleaded with Azulon to spare my son. Pleaded with Azulon to let Iroh claim Zuko as his heir and let that be Ozai’s loss. I should have found another way, I shouldn’t have left them there._

_Shouldn’t have left them there with a man who they would do anything to please. A man who taught them to be ready to lay down their lives for him._

She clings to her memory of her son, who is beautiful and kind. She tries to picture him as he is now - probably resembling his cousin Lu Ten in stature and posture. _He is twenty now, he must be handsome to the young ladies._

Then she remembers what Azula said about a scar and she desperately claws at her heart. She can almost imagine the wails that escaped her son - ones that she hadn’t been privy to and probably couldn’t stop. She can almost feel the burn against her own skin, can almost smell burning flesh, can almost hear as her son begs his father for forgiveness.

It hurts. 

The poison is burning her up from the inside and she doesn’t know how long she has left. 

Her tears have begun to leave wet patches on Kiyi’s nightgown and she chokes down another sob to spare herself from having to lie to the child in her arms. 

She cannot bring herself to face Ikem who is undoubtedly still awake and waiting for her in their bedroom. He had been asking her with increasing frequency these past few weeks what was bothering her so much. But he couldn’t fix this. He couldn’t get rid of the coiled rat-viper that was constricting her heart any more than she could bring herself to tell him the truth.

Ursa closes her eyes and rests her head atop of Kiyi’s hoping that sleep will claim her.

It is almost midnight and Ursa hears Ikem open Kiyi’s door and keeps her eyes shut. She hears him sigh and close the door once again and keeps her eyes closed until she hears his footsteps disappear.

She feels like a coward for not facing him.

Morning has come and despite her wishes, she received no rest.

_I failed them._

* * *

Aang had waited until all of the lights went out to make his way back inside the Ember Island house.

His body and soul felt tired while his mind was reeling at every corner.

There was a part of him that knew his friends hadn’t been lying to him and that they hadn’t told him what they had out of malice. But they just didn’t understand. Everything he thought he had known was now covered in a filter of sepia and he couldn’t tell what was true and what was false.

The older monks had always been a bit secretive. Even Gyatso was not exempt from this observation. There were days where he couldn’t find any of the masters and waited for hours in the bison care center for a sign that any of them were near.

Now that he has learned the truth he thinks about how he found Gyatso’s body. How it was surrounded by more than a handful of fire nation skeletons and fights the urge to vomit as he recalls one of the pages showing previous airbending techniques.

_Sokka and Suki found them hidden in a corridor._

How could he have been so stupid, so _naive_ , to not see that everything wasn’t what it seemed? How could he hurt his friends when all they had ever done was try to help him?

He tried to fight down the rising anger that was coursing through his body. He rubbed at his collarbone to try and soothe the ache to no avail. 

_Is this what it means to be swallowed by war? To lose the softness of your childhood and have your essence marred by battle?_

Aang choked on the sob that was making its way from his chest and slapped a hand over his mouth. He had made his way to his room and pushed his back up against the door. His body began to heave as he continued to force his sobs down.

“TwinkleToes?”

Even with his vision a blur, he could make out Toph’s silhouette against the moonlight. Brushing his fingertips across his eyes and face he watched as the light from the night sky made Toph’s milky green eyes glow. He had never taken the chance to admire her for something beyond her earthbending skills but looking at her now he could recognize the youthful beauty that she possessed. Even with her propensity to make fun of him and make grown men three times her size appear small.

“Toph, what are you doing here?”

“Well excuse me for staying up to make sure you were okay. I guess I’ll be on my way now to my healthy hill of dirt.”

If she was Katara she would have made a show of brushing the imaginary dirt off of her clothes as she stood. If she was Katara she would have wrapped him in a comforting embrace and rocked him to sleep. But right now he didn’t want softness; he wanted the rough reality that only Toph could provide. He didn’t want sugar-coated words he wanted a punch in the arm and truthful assurances.

His back was still pressed up against the door making no moves to allow her to pass him. She waited in front of him with her hands on her hips and a quirk in her brow.

“I don’t have all night TwinkleToes, are you going to move or what?”

“No.”

She juts out her hip and crosses her arms over her chest. The moonlight is a halo behind her and casts a long shadow.

“Will you stay with me? Just for tonight? I don’t want to be alone right now.”

He waited for the bite in her words. Waited for her to shoot him with a quip and then agree to his request. Imagine his surprise when he watched her brow soften and she offered him her hand.

Her hand wasn’t soft like Katara’s. There were calluses up and down her fingers that reminded him that he was in the present. Her touch was firm and gentle whereas Katara’s was fleeting and light. 

_Why am I pointing out the similarities between her and Katara? Toph is my friend, Katara is the love of my life._

She allows him to pull her into his bed and lays down by his side. They do not fall into an embrace. They keep a respective distance between their bodies but they are still holding hands. He watches as her breathing evens out as she falls asleep.

His eyes run over her face and admire how serene she looks. He thinks he likes the way she looks when she is asleep. During the daylight, her face is always pulled in to that of a smirk or a bored expression. But in the hours of the night, she has let down her guard and trusts him to see her this way.

He can’t fight the rising bitterness in him that wishes Katara would do this with him. That she would come to his room and lay beside him and help him fall asleep.

His eyes are still admiring Toph when they droop. They are all witnesses under the same moon and stars but navigate the night differently.

Sleep claims him and so does his past lives.

He feels as if he had just closed his eyes and opened them to end up back on Kyoshi Island. He is sitting before the statue that was erected in the Earth Avatar’s honor. He wonders if this is supposed to mean something.

“I was wondering when you would try to contact me again. I rather enjoyed our last merge.”

Still sitting he turns his head to look behind him to see Kyoshi and scrambles to stand.

“I actually don’t know how I did this. All I remember is going to sleep and poof now I’m here.”

She offers him no explanation of how he got here and begins walking into the village. He rushes to catch up to her but she takes such long strides that he has to break out into a light jog to stay in stride with her.

“Do you know why I’m here? I mean I know I should probably try speaking with my previous lives more but shouldn’t I just go to Roku for advice?”

Kyoshi stops abruptly causing Aang to nearly trip over his feet.

“That pansy? No, I think it would be more beneficial for you to get some advice from other Avatar’s beside your guide.”

He doesn’t think that anyone has ever called Roku a pansy. At least not to his knowledge. Kyoshi must not be happy with her reincarnation's actions during his life.

“Are you and Roku not friends? Weren’t you the one who was his Avatar guide?”

She sighs at that with such disappointment that it seeps into his bones and feels as if his limbs are coated with lead.

“You would think that with me as his guide, Roku would have followed my example in maintaining peace over his friendship with Sozin. But alas we all must deal with disappointments and the consequences of one another’s actions.”

She once again begins walking and when he looks back they are no longer on Kyoshi Island. He doesn’t know this village and is a little frightened of Kyoshi to ask her such questions. He racks his mind for things he should ask her like why is he here and why was she the one to meet him?

“Before I go I want to give you a piece of advice Aang. I know that you are soft and that you don’t want to consider violence as your only option to dethrone the Fire Lord, but being the Avatar requires sacrifice to ensure that peace reigns.”

He doesn’t get the chance to refute her advice when she disappears out of thin air. He spins and looks around him for anyone else but he is alone in this meadow. 

“Well, that wasn’t particularly helpful.”

“You will have to forgive Kyoshi, she is rather abrupt and concise with her advice.”

He turns once again to be met with grey eyes so much like his own. The woman in front of him bears the marks of an airbending master and he recognizes her as the previous air Avatar before him. He bows his head in reverence to her.

“ _Yangchen_ , it is an honor to meet you.”

She bows to him as well.

“Avatar Aang, it is a pleasure to finally speak with you. I am sure you have many questions and we have much to discuss with so little time.”

“Yes! I have so many questions. Is this visit about what my friends found? Are the writings they found even accurate? How could we do that? How could we hide those teachings?”

Yangchen moves to sit on the ground and Aang nearly collapses before her. Crossing their legs they sit across from each other and Aang waits eagerly to hear what she will tell him.

_Maybe there is an explanation for all of this. Maybe Yangchen will help me unlock my last chakra without having to give up Katara._

“In order to understand the present, we must understand the past. Let’s start from the beginning. To the time before I knew I was the Avatar.”

* * *

It was clear to Zuko that he should have picked a different room to stay in. 

Laying on the floor of his childhood room he tries to forget a time when his family had appeared to be happy. He tries to forget a time when his cousin Lu Ten was still alive and his sister wasn’t cunning and looking to fault him for a single mistake.

He also tries to forget the embarrassing things he used to be enamored with. It was part of the reason he had been so adamant about not letting anyone else stay in this room.

Katara had been the first person to attempt to open the door and he had nearly flown to throw himself in front of the door.

“I already picked this room!” He could almost imagine how he had looked in her eyes. He was out of breath and his hair was most likely sticking up at odd angles as the sweat allowed some strands to stick to his forehead.

He would embarrass himself a hundred times over if it meant seeing the glimmer in her eyes though. He had stared at her and watched as a smile graced her face as she took in his position in front of the door.

Staring at one another for a few more seconds she slowly turned to the door opposite of his and went to open it. If he looked closely he could almost make out the faded A that graced the wooden door.

Azula had always liked decorating her space but as they had gotten older that childhood delight was replaced by her desire to follow in their father’s footsteps.

Azula had often shipped off the old clothes that she no longer wore in the palace here for storage. So the closet in her old room is full of clothes. 

He had thrown his belongings in the room and quickly slammed the door shut so that no one could sneak a peek at his old room. He moved to stand in the doorframe of Azula’s old room. Unlike his room that still had all of 13-year-old Zuko’s belongings, Azula’s room was bare of any of her childhood interests. If he had to take a guess the majority of the stuff except for the clothes belonged to 16-year-old Azula.

He watched as Katara ran her fingers over the dresser and the paintings on the wall. A small smile graced his face when he saw her intake of breath after opening the closet. He hadn’t seen Katara in red yet but he thinks that it will look good on her.

He has to nearly slap himself now to stop picturing Katara in red. He feels his blood rushing in his veins and groans. He is snapped out of his fantasies as he hears thumping against his wall and soft groans. 

_Spirits_ , he really wished he had made Sokka pick a room that did not share a wall with his own. He did not like being an unwilling listener in Sokka and Suki’s nighttime activities. That is why he is sleeping on the floor, he can no longer take having to hear them so clearly through the wall.

If they get any louder he is going to end up sleeping outside. He has his ruined ear pressed to the ground and his other ear is covered with his pillow. Yet he can still hear them and if he were Toph he could probably feel the vibrations of the Earth trembling. 

Zuko shakes his head and closes his eyes to try and get some sleep.

He dreams about the sun and the moon wondering what it could mean.

Morning has come and Zuko is surprised to find that he feels rested. While his body does ache a bit after sleeping on the floor he doesn’t feel tired. He gets up to open the windows in his rooms to allow the sunlight to hit him while he is doing his morning meditation.

He is bathed in the early sunlight and feels the pleasant warmth of the sun’s rays on his skin. He relaxes his muscles and clears his head while practicing his breathing exercises. He still can’t believe that the younger version of himself had disregarded his uncle’s words about meditating. He wonders where he would have been or where life would have taken him if he had listened to his uncle earlier.

He hears a knock on his door and gets up to unlock it and greet the person on the other side. He suspects it may be Aang here to tell him he is ready to begin their firebending training lesson for the day. He hopes that the young air bender made it back to the house safely after he flew away yesterday.

When he opens the door he is face to face with the striking blue eyes and brown skin that he has come to associate with Katara. She is still in her Water Tribe blue clothes and he loves how it contrasts against her skin. He has to remind himself to focus on what she is trying to tell him or he will get lost in one of his most frequent daydreams.

“Hey, we’re running out of supplies and I was wondering if you would want to come to the market with me? It’s still pretty early and I don’t think that many people will be up yet to recognize who you are.”

He knows it is reckless of him, knows that he should probably say no in order to remain covert, but he cannot deny her anything. He reassures himself that he can just wear a cloak with a hood to cover his head.

He must have worried her with his lack of response because she began rambling, “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, I never want you to feel like I’m forcing you to spend time with me. I just don’t know how much I will be able to carry on my own and after last night I doubt that Sokka or Suki will be up soon.”

He lets out a breathy laugh. So she heard them too.

“I’ll go with you Katara, no worries. Just give me a few minutes to get ready.”

She beams up at him and he swears that the life in her eyes can rival the brightness of the sun. He wants to get on his knees and bow to her in reverence. Sometimes he has a hard time remembering that she is not a divine spirit and he makes hundreds of promises in his mind that after the war ends he will make sure she is honored.

The door of her claimed room is still open and he watches as she moves behind the door to close it. The smile on her face is soft and he feels so at peace just watching the rays of sunlight dance across her face.

“I’ll see you downstairs in a few minutes, Zuko.”

With that, she closes the door and he closes his own pressing his back against it to cool himself down. He scrambles to get ready to not make her wait. He speedily gets ready and is downstairs before she is. He is leaning against one of the walls watching the stairs that she will inevitably come down.

He is rolling his neck to ease a knot that formed after his night on the ground when he hears her gentle footsteps pressing on the floorboards of the stairs. Quickly snapping his eyes up to meet hers and she has taken his breath away.

She is in a two-piece outfit with her cropped top stopping just underneath her midriff and exposing the smooth planes of her stomach. The skirt that rests against her legs still leaves a quarter of her skin showing. She is adorned in a red choker and wears red and gold slippers. She looks beautiful but he wishes that she was still able to wear her mother's necklace here in public.

He had not told her that he had grown rather attached to the old betrothal necklace when she had lost it on the floating prison harboring the earthbenders she helped free. He can still feel the press of the cold blue leather against his wrist. Can still smell the ocean that was stained to his skin after weeks of wearing it during his search for the Avatar.

When he had been back at the palace he had missed the sea. It had been his home for nearly seven years and he had been surprised by how quickly he had gained his sea legs. As if it was his destiny to voyage across the sea for years in his search for the Avatar. Maybe it was because it reminded him so much of himself. Where externally it could look peacefully but hold terrifying horrors; where externally it could rage and claim everything and anything.

Katara’s eyes remind him of the sea he had made his home and he thinks that maybe it is the reason why he felt so drawn to her. She is a lighthouse in the middle of a raging storm; she is the sun and he is the Earth in her orbit.

She softly reaches for his hand and pulls him out of the house towards the road leading to the market and he is content in her presence. He feels safe with her and knows that when the war ends that is what he wants his home to be - somewhere he feels safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween from your favorite insomniac! I'm sorry for not updating sooner, but this semester has been kicking my ass. I have come to the conclusion that I absolutely hate behavioral statistics. I hope that this filler chapter was enjoyable and I apologize that it is shorter than normal. But no worries more is coming and much sooner than you think.
> 
> Question of the chapter: What do you think of Kiyi?  
> My answer: Truthfully, I haven't read any of the comics but I have read up about some things that happen in them. The fact that they gave Zuko another sister that he instantly takes too while his other sister who was traumatized by their father was locked up. It kind of makes it seem that they were just trying to replace Azula with Kiyi and it's just not something I like. But I might be wrong, as I said I am not entirely up to date with that whole dynamic. Considering what I have learned so far I think it is nice that Zuko and Azula have another sibling but they shouldn't just try to write off Zuko and Azula's relationship in favor of Kiyi's relationship with Zuko. Big sister Azula has potential and I want to see it.
> 
> Feel free to answer the question with your own hot take. As always xoxo baddies and thanks to KingMegz who reminded me to update.


	10. Making Acquaintances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> light tw// occurs about halfway in the chapter; reference of men considering abusing their authority over someone in their custody.

Katara likes the way Zuko’s hand fits in hers. She likes how Zuko’s hand feels against her own. It is warm against hers, but not uncomfortably so; and in the cool air of the morning, she finds herself leaning more into his side. 

If he notices he pretends not to. Just like she pretends not to notice how he allows her to stay leaned up against his side.

As they were walking through the market and picking out as many supplies as they could carry they were stuck in their own bubble. Only a few people were wandering around that morning and Katara believed that they would not pay too much attention to herself and Zuko.

She was right in a sense, however, the people that did watch them move from vendor to vendor had a singular thought on their minds.

_They make a beautiful couple._

An older woman with pale grey eyes had told them so when they were ready to leave the market and Katara could feel the heat in her cheeks. Zuko seemed to burn hotter at the idea of them being together and she didn’t know if it was out of embarrassment or if it was something he had considered before.

Katara internally shook her head. He had _Mai_.

Her brother had told her all he knew about Zuko’s relationship with Mai but had sworn her to secrecy because he promised Zuko that he wouldn’t tell anybody. Her brother had also spared no detail about how Mai made the sacrifice of betraying Azula so that they could escape the Boiling Rock prison.

_She must love him or at least care about him deeply._

Yet she isn’t sure about Zuko’s feelings concerning the gloomy girl with the array of knives.

He didn’t talk about her and Katara thinks that is because he doesn’t want to remind himself that she is currently in prison for saving his life. 

The walk back to the beach house is full of awkward silence and a thick blanket of tension.

“I’m sorry if that lady made you uncomfortable by insinuating that I was your girlfriend. I know that you’re probably worried about your actual girlfriend.” 

If her hands hadn’t been full of supplies she probably would have rubbed them together and cast her eyes onto the ground in front of her. 

She also couldn’t bring herself to say Mai’s name out loud in fear that her rising bitterness would show in her tone of voice.

_Is it bitterness or is it jealousy? I thought we were on the path of not lying to ourselves young lady, are you really going to break your newfound streak?_

Katara told her consciousness to shut up; she had no reason to be jealous. Mai had saved not only her brother’s life but also her father’s, Suki’s, and Zuko’s. She was grateful to the bored Fire Nation noblewoman, or so she claimed. She keeps her eyes off of Zuko to ensure that she doesn’t say anything to further complicate the situation they found themselves in.

“Um, I mean I am worried about Mai, but I kind of dumped her the day of the eclipse - through a letter. Then re-dumped her in person before she saved us at Boiling Rock.”

_My, my, my did your heart just skip little miss? Why are you finding joy in the fact that he probably broke her heart?_

Her consciousness was seriously getting on her nerves.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you break up with her?”

Zuko lets out a shaky breath as if what he is about to say will shake the foundations of the house he has built for himself.

“She reminded me of the person I was before my banishment. I couldn’t reconcile any potential relationship I had with her in light of what I had learned and suffered. I craved the feeling of being understood and when I did try to broach any subject that could lead to any form of thoughtful discussion she would avoid it.”

Katara feels herself nod her head, both in agreement and as encouragement for him to continue.

“She had no qualms against ordering the servants around and after what I had been through all that luxury just felt,” he smacks his lips together as if tasting his next word, “wrong. It felt wrong to receive such care and to watch everyone around me accept her behavior towards hard-working people.”

“Before my banishment, I knew that she had a crush on me, and if I hadn’t been banished maybe we could have been together, but we are too different. Our differences wouldn't compliment each other and it wouldn't make either of us better. It would be like running around in circles knowing how to break the cycle of confusion and pain but purposely not doing what needs to be done. I’m also not sure whether or not we would have pursued a relationship because we actually liked each other or because we were united in our distaste for Azula’s schemes.”

“I don’t think I could make her happy either. She has had politics forced down her throat since she was a child, and a part of her may enjoy it, but I don’t think it would be something she would want to spend her life doing.”

Katara thinks she understands both Mai and Zuko a bit better. She can’t help feeling bad for them. She calls upon all of the things she had known about the knife thrower before this conversation. She thinks about the bored expression that graced her pale face and the smile that transformed it when she was throwing her knives. Mai who is currently sitting in a prison cell wondering if she will ever get out. A woman who was probably taught to sit still and be silent; to be seen but not heard.

She feels bad for Zuko who undoubtedly feels guilty that his ex-girlfriend is locked away because of him. Zuko who struggled to feel at home in a place he had once belonged; who struggled to feel safe with the one person he thought would understand him.

They are on the steps of their current residence before he starts up again.

“Truthfully, I don’t think I could make anyone happy, and it scares me.”

Katara fights the urge to let the things in her hands fall to the ground, settling for making a sound resembling Sokka’s rumbling stomach. She offers him no reassurances until they have made their way into the house and spread their purchases out on the countertop.

He looks dejected as he leans against the counter space that has not been taken up by one thing or another. She is in his orbit when she rests a hand on his shoulder to get him to look at her, and when he does she recognizes the shine of unshed tears glossing his irises. 

“I think that one day you will make someone happy, and they will be the luckiest person in the world. The question is, do you think _you_ can be happy?”

 _‘I’m never happy,’_ is what Zuko had told Sokka before their expedition to rescue her father. She hopes that when the war ends he does find happiness, even if she isn’t there to see it.

Her heart hurts at the idea of not being a part of Zuko’s happiness.

They pass the next few moments in silence but it is a comfortable one, unlike the one they shared earlier.

“This is the happiest I’ve ever been in a really long time.”

They share a private smile that cannot be defined even if there were other people in the room with them. She removes the hand that she had on his shoulder and snakes it down to squeeze his hand.

In the early hours of the morning, it is just them and she likes these moments of peace that they share.

He slowly lets go of her hand and she finds herself missing his warmth despite them standing so close to one another. His back is turned to her as he begins putting away supplies that they will not need for breakfast.

_Breakfast! She needs to get started._

They fall into the same rhythm they always do when making meals for the rest of their makeshift family. They pile a larger amount of fruits on Aang’s breakfast plate as a ‘we’re sorry’ message and hope that he will speak to them after yesterday’s events.

As usual, Sokka is the first one to make his way down for his first meal of the day. Suki is the next one to appear only moments after her brother. Katara has a quirk in her brow in suspicion and shifts her eyes between the two of them as they purposely avoid her gaze. She fights the desire to roll her eyes and is just about to go upstairs to get the other two members of their group when she sees them walking side by side into the kitchen.

The words that want to make their way out of her throat die on the tip of her tongue and silence fills the occupied space. She wants to run away from the tension that was now pressing on her chest and suffocating her. She hadn’t even realized Zuko was next to her until she felt the brush of fingertips against her arm that could belong to no one other than him.

The silence breaks with a squeak from Momo and everyone lets out an audible sigh.

“I owe you all an apology, I know that it must have been hard for you all to tell me about what you found and I appreciate your honesty. I think it would be best if I work this out on my own. But no worries I can call on the previous air Avatar’s before me to clarify some things.”

Aang shoots them all a smile but Katara can see the murkiness in his eyes and the pressure on her chest is weighing her down. He is just a kid and he has so much on his shoulders, she hopes that the weight of his responsibilities does not swallow his capacity for kindness. When the war is over they will need his kindness.

They have less than two months to get him prepared to fight the Fire Lord and she wonders if his lessons will be enough.

The day passes quickly and Katara is still worrying if their efforts to speed up Aang’s lessons will prove fruitful. A small part of her is also worrying about how to broach the subject of her nonexistent romantic feelings towards him. She doesn’t want to distract him but she also doesn’t want him to go into any fight thinking that he is entitled to her love or a relationship.

Her friends are inside chatting amongst themselves after dinner and Katara is sitting on the dock of the private beach behind the Fire Lord’s property. She tilts her head back to bask in Yue’s light and tries to clear her mind. She thinks she will ask Zuko for some tips about meditation and modifying his technique to fit her needs.

Her bare feet are skimming the water below her when she hears the soft padding of footsteps behind her. She twists slightly to make out her brother’s features and moves to make space for him to sit next to her. She is watching his face as he stares longingly at the moon then shakes his head.

“Are you feeling okay? You’ve been out of it since breakfast.”

Sometimes Katara forgets how observant her brother actually is. It was so easy to do so because of his propensity to engage in incredibly foolish activities. Even then he still rivals some of the greatest inventors in his ability to design and create.

She could lie to him but it feels wrong to do so under the light of his lost love.

“Do you think we’re doing enough? That our efforts to help Aang are going to help end the war?”

“We’re all doing as much as we can to help him Katara. When the day comes for him to fight Ozai it is up to him to see it through.”

“I just feel like I’m not doing enough. Maybe I should teach him how to heal so that way he can do it when I’m not there. But I doubt he would want or even consider learning bloodbending.”

“Katara no offense but Aang would actually have to pay attention to what you are trying to teach him. During his private lessons with you, he is too distracted and only does things to impress you. I’m not trying to discourage you from teaching him healing but you have to address the problems before you can implement the solution.”

She sighs and tries to let go of the heaviness that coats the lengths of her shoulders but it does not disappear. She gently rests her head against her brother’s shoulder and they both look out at the vastness of the sea.

“How are you holding up?”

He nearly jumps up at the question and is squirming in his allotted space next to her. He had knocked her head off his shoulder so hard that she had to wait several moments for her vision to return to normal.

“I’m fine. Just peachy. Why are you asking?”

“I can tell you miss her.”

He rests his back on the dock so that he is now staring up at the celestial body in the sky. Following his example, she lays down next to him.

“Yeah I miss her, but I think I just miss the life she could have lived for herself. I cared for her, there is no doubt in my mind that I did, but I don’t think I can say I loved her. Not in the way I could have seen a future with her even if she wasn’t supposed to marry Hahn. But with Suki, I can and that makes me feel guilty. Like I’m disrespecting Yue’s memory.”

He falls silent and quietly says, “I don’t want to fail anyone else the way I failed her.”

Katara can feel the tears falling from Sokka’s eyes so she sits up and pulls him up into a hug. She lets him cry into the crook of her neck without saying a word. When he pulls away she can barely see the red underneath his eyes.

“You did the best you could Sokka and no one can fault you for that or say that you failed. It’s okay for you to fall in love with someone else too so long as you’re honest with them. I think you feel guilty because you haven’t told Suki about what you felt with Yue, and that’s important if the two of you are going to try pursuing a relationship.”

“When did you get so smart?”

“I started listening to my big brother.”

“Well, what do you know? I bet you could have avoided lots of issues if you had only listened to me sooner.”

He looks a bit too smug for her liking so she does what any little sister would do.

She pushes him into the ocean and laughs.

She allows herself to forget about the heaviness that lingers and enjoys her time with her brother. For so long it has been them against the world and even if they are a part of something bigger than them they will always be a unit.

She goes to sleep drafting different ways to gently break a boy’s heart.

* * *

Jet can’t fight the adrenaline rushing through his veins as he waits in the ground underneath the Boiling Rock prison; courtesy of his new earthbender friend Haru.

Out of all of the earthbenders he has met in his life he can without a doubt say that Haru is the kindest. That stubbornness that is one of the defining characteristics for the rest of his bending brothers and sisters is not something he shares with them.

The only thing they were working off of to successfully break out this _Mai_ was the information provided to them by the original team Avatar, Zuko, and the escapees. Suki was incredibly thorough in describing the layout of the prison and ways they could get from one place to another without being detected. She had told them that according to Zuko, Mai’s uncle was the warden and even if she was a prisoner there she would still be getting better treatment.

_It will be difficult to get to her because she is probably being held in the cells on the top floor of the prison. You’ll have to wait until the guards are doing their nightly sweeps to get in and out undetected._

Not getting caught was going to be hard but this covert operation was something that he was more than capable of seeing through. He just wonders if this woman is going to give him trouble when he is trying to break her out.

_She’s fond of her knives and tends to have more than one type on her person. Those were definitely taken from her when she was admitted as a prisoner._

“We’ll need to make a pitstop to grab something else before we get to her. A peace offering of a sort.”

If her uncle was the warden he is likely keeping all of her valuables in his room. Let’s just hope he isn’t in there when Jet intends to swipe her knives and the keys to her cell.

His team consists of Smellerbee, Longshot, Haru, and himself. Smellerbee is the lightest on her feet and is probably going to be the one he asks to enter the warden’s room. Longshot is the quietest of them all and knows how to hide in the shadows around him. His two non-bender friends compliment one another in their capabilities and nostalgia courses through him.

They had been the ones to stick by his side through everything and if it came down to it he would lay his life down for them. He doesn’t pray anymore but he hopes that whatever spirits are out there will look out for them tonight.

They wait for an hour more before they make their way to the lowest floor of the prison. Their steps are in sync as they move from floor to floor, they have had to knock out only two guards on their way up before they reach the warden’s room.

He looks to Smellerbee and offers her a nod before she heads inside. The door is unlocked which could only mean that the warden must have suspected that no one would enter his chambers without asking for permission.

_He just lost the record for this prison having no escapee’s and he still feels comfortable enough to sleep with his door open? That’s stupid._

In minutes Smellerbee appears before them with a singular key clutched in her hand and a box under one of her arms.

“The knives are in the box.”

“How did you know which key to get?”

“I didn’t. The key was resting on top of the box. He must have visited her before going to sleep and forgot to put the key back.”

It is hard for them to see one another but the sense of foreboding is stifling all around them.

_Please don’t be a trap._

There is no room for hesitance in this rescue mission so they push down their worries and begin the next stage of their operation. His team will make their way back to the lowest level and wait for him and the knife thrower. If he is not back within a half hour they will leave him and try again in a few days to avoid suspicion.

He waits until he can no longer see their silhouettes before he navigates his way around the top floor. He almost misses it but there is only one cell that has light shining out of the slot. When he peers in he sees a small desk with books piled on top and a woman with her back turned to him.

As quietly as he can he turns the key to her cell and opens the door leaving a sliver of an opening so that they can get out. If she senses someone else in the cell with her she does not give herself away. 

“As much as I would love this game where you pretend not to know someone else is in here with you, we have to go.”

He is still waiting for her to acknowledge him as she reads from the book in her hands. He fights the urge to pull at the roots of his hair and moves to stand beside her desk. He places the box with her knives in front of him and tries his best to be patient.

She slowly puts her book down but does not move to meet his eyes. She runs her fingers along the top of the box and opens it. Based on the twitch in her fingers she fights the need to hold her weapons, and only then does she look at him directly.

In this light, he cannot tell whether her eyes are grey or if they are just pale gold. Her face is narrow and her hair is black resembling the night sky. He skims his eyes over her body to notice that she is not wearing prison garb but rather a dress that sets her apart from the lowly peasants that are also here.

“Who sent you? I doubt it was Azula.”

“Look you can ask me questions later right now we need to focus on getting out of here without getting caught.”

She doesn’t fight him on this. Instead, she stands and blows out the reading light that her uncle must have given her. He doesn’t need any light to know that she is cradling the box containing her knives as if a missing piece of her has been returned. He knows how she feels - he has that same connection with his hook swords.

They are halfway to their destination when a group of guards appears. He quickly pushes her into a corner shrouded in darkness and puts his back to the guards. He doesn’t trust her yet and has no clue if she would use one of those senbons she stroked so carefully to stab him in a major artery.

She is a foot shorter than him and her slender body is pressed up against his but he avoids paying attention to this detail as he waits for the guards to move away from their hiding place. He is just about to step away to continue moving towards their exit when she grabs his arm and keeps him pushed up against her.

He would have questioned him but then he hears more footsteps and two guards joking with one another.

“The warden has been all mopey since those prisoners escaped.”

“Did you hear what Takeshi was saying? About how stupid he looked with those bindings around his mouth and hands.” 

He turns his head a bit to see both of the guards clutch their stomachs as their bodies shake with contained laughter.

“I heard his niece is here, I’ve considered visiting her. Just to see if she needs some comfort.”

“She’d probably need comfort from more than one person after that traitor Prince Zuko broke her heart. I bet she’ll take whatever she’s given.”

He feels her body shudder against his and he takes a small step away from her. As if to silently communicate to her that he isn’t here to take advantage of her. Her face betrays nothing and he can’t fight the rising pity that bubbles in his stomach along with the bile coating his throat at the words of those guards.

Their footsteps have disappeared by now but he has made no effort to move.

“For someone awfully adamant about leaving as quickly as possible, you are taking a long time to get going.”

He runs his eyes over her face one last time before moving out of their hiding place. The rest of their journey to the lowest level is uneventful and he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

His friends are waiting for them and they waste no time to welcome them and now they can finally put the last portion of their plan into action. Haru opens a hole in the ground that swallows them and creates a path underneath the boiling lake.

This time around their journey underneath the lake doesn’t feel as long but it has not taken away the urgency nor the desire to get away from the prison as quickly as possible. They are finally outside of the volcano and take a few moments to suck in the clean air that tastes like ocean spray.

They walk along the edge of the landmass surrounding the volcano to meet up with the rest of their group and he only releases the tension in his shoulders when he recognizes Chit Sang’s silhouette along with their airship. 

Chit Sang ushers them inside of the airship so that they can take off immediately. He offers Mai a nod of respect and says nothing as he makes his way to the engine room. In a flash, Hakoda is in front of them.

Haru, Smellerbee, and Longshot have already disappeared to their desired areas so it is only the three of them standing in this walkway.

Hakoda offers Mai a smile along with his hand. She tucks the box with her knives under her arm and moves her hand to shake Hakoda’s only for him to clutch her elbow and she returns the gesture. They release each other shortly after, and if the physical contact made her uncomfortable she hides it well.

_She could give Koh a run for his stolen faces._

“I want to thank you for your bravery. I wouldn’t be standing before you today if you hadn’t done what you had.”

She smiles, and he can't help but think that it is a good look for her.

“It was a risk I was willing to take, and I can’t deny that I enjoyed upsetting Azula.”

Hakoda laughs at that and he recognizes that fatherly like smile that graces his face. It’s the same one that he always has when he is with Sokka and Katara. Jet wonders if his father would have looked at him like that if he was still alive.

“Jet why don’t you show Mai to her room for the night. We’ll talk some more in the morning after you both get some rest.”

Mai doesn’t ask any questions and he is grateful, all of the pent up anxiety he had concerning getting her out of Boiling Rock has drained him. They walk in silence and stop in front of the room she will have to herself. It is no bigger than her cell was but he hopes she will feel more comfortable than she was there.

She has the knife box pressed up against her chest and is holding it so tightly that he thinks she might give herself a splinter.

“I’ll let you get some rest and in the morning if you still have questions I’ll answer them as best as I can.”

She moves past him to enter the room and uses the light from the hallway to find the spark rocks to light the candle in her room. Once she does he watches as she sets her knives down carefully on her bed spreading them out. Her back is to him but he is watching her as she moves her fingers tenderly up and down each blade.

“Thank you.”

She turns to look at him but offers him no smile as she did for Hakoda. But he sees the gratitude plainly in her eyes.

“You should get some sleep.”

He closes the door behind him and pretends that he does not hear the choked sob that has finally allowed itself to leave her throat. He wonders why she always wears a mask to hide. 

He wonders if she has ever felt the warmth of safety and understanding or if she has lived her life trying to chase out the cold of loneliness.

He wonders if she has ever felt seen beyond the physical standpoint.

He wonders why he is wondering about her, but that is a lie. He knows why. Her eyes were a mirror and he didn’t like that he saw so much of his past self in them.

_I see you._

* * *

Of all the stupid ideas Sokka has ever had, this takes the cake.

He has just finished training with Aang and is still trying to cool himself off when Sokka appears out of breath. He spent a few minutes with his hands on his knees, wheezing, clutching a poster in his hand.

“There’s a play about us! I know the actor playing me won’t have my charisma or my looks but this is the kind of shenanigans that we need to lift our spirits.”

“I don’t know Sokka, we should be trying to lay low here. We can’t get too comfortable here to the point where someone recognizes one of us and reports it back to the Fire Lord or Azula.”

“It will be dark out and we can wear disguises! It’s not like anyone will be paying attention to the real us, they will be too focused on the play.”

Sokka then goes on explaining the description of the play as if that will help his case.

“It features the Ember Island Players,”

Zuko blanches at that.

“They’re the worst! They butcher Love Amongst the Dragons every year they perform it.”

Sokka looks as if he is ready to get on his hands and knees to plead with him and Katara for them to agree with him.

Suki decides to play diplomat for the day and suggests that they vote on it.

It is four against two and it is decided that they will go to the stupid play.

“Opening night is tomorrow, which is most likely the best time to go because everyone will be trying to get a seat in the theater that they won’t focus on us.”

“That won’t be a problem, we can use the booth my family owns. It’s already paid for.”

“That means more money for snacks!”

Zuko can’t fight his exasperation that Sokka wants to see a poor rendition summing up the past year. The only thing making the situation better is that Katara seems as irritated with her brother’s antics as he is.

He excuses himself to take a shower before he prepares to help Katara cook lunch. He tries to soothe the aching knots in his neck and lower back after _another night_ of being an unwilling listener in Sokka and Suki playing tonsil tennis and whatever else they do.

One of these days he might actually end up sleeping outside or taking up one of the other guest rooms. He is not brave enough to even consider sleeping in his father’s room or his mother’s. It is the child in him that begs him not to. To not sully the only happy memories he has of his family here, even if some of them may not be what he remembers them to be.

The water does what it can but his body feels wound tight and his muscles are tense when he gets out. At this point, he’s about ready to fling himself on a bed of hot coals to get rid of the uncomfortable pinches. As he painstakingly makes his way to the kitchen he fights a grimace.

Tomorrow he’s making Aang practice on his own while he sits and watches.

“Why are you hobbling like a penguin-seal?”

Katara makes no effort to hide the laugh in her voice and even though he shoots her a mean look he knows she doesn’t take seriously.

_You take a girl to find her mother’s killer and now she laughs at you while you’re in pain. Low blow._

“I blame your brother and Suki. Their nighttime shenanigans are right against my wall so I end up sleeping on the floor.”

She has to hold on to her stomach as she laughs harder and he likes how her eyes crinkle. Tears are making their way to the rim of her eyes and he cracks a smile.

“I thought I had it bad. Yikes. You really are right next door,” her words are breathy and Zuko has to temper down his desire to make her breathy himself.

As gently as possible he sets himself down on one of the high chairs surrounding the island. Sure there were other chairs for him to sit in but this one gives him the best view of Katara.

“He manages to torture me in the middle of the night, and now he intends to torture me some more by going to see this play.”

If his body wasn’t in so much pain he would slap his forehead so he rolls his eyes instead.

“Are the Ember Island Players really that bad?”

“Horrific.”

She entertains him by listening intently as he thoroughly explains all of the times he had to watch one of their performances. There are moments where she can’t contain her laughter and interrupts him mid-sentence but he doesn’t mind, in fact, he looks forward to hearing it. 

He is amazed by her. By all of his newfound friends. They are running out of time to teach Aang what he needs to know so that he can defeat the Fire Lord, but they still manage to find happiness in the darkest of times. It has begun to rub off on him and he values the change. It makes him feel warm.

He remembers his willful ignorance after his mother’s disappearance. In her presence, she distracted him from how cold palace life was. Not in the temperature, but in regards to the atmosphere and the attitude of the inhabitants. He had ignored the chill that settled in his bones when he woke up the morning his father was crowned Fire Lord, but he couldn’t fight off the loneliness. 

He decides right then and there that this is something he never wants to go through again. Wherever he ends up after the war, he wants it to be a place where he feels warm. A place where he doesn’t feel alone.

He knows better than to make a home out of a person after having relied on his mother for the first half of his life. So instead he will make a home out of the qualities he wishes the palace had had. Even though he knows better he can’t stop wishing that Katara will be a part of this new home he will make for himself, not as a prisoner but as a mutual companion.

He spends the rest of the day soaking up the easy-going companionship that he has found for himself. Paying attention to the way each person interacts with one another.

Toph with her tough love and her habit of being the smartest person in the room. Aang with his immense kindness and willingness to help. Suki who knows how to balance ferocity and benevolence. Sokka who acts as the glue to this family of traumatized adults.

He studies Katara lastly after realizing that she is not just one thing to this family. No. She is like her element that bends and changes as needed. While everyone else seems to contribute something specific to the group she exceeds those limitations. 

She is the healer, and the helper, and the counselor. She is the mother figure to everyone except him and he is her counterpart.

_I love them. I love them and I don’t want them to leave me, but I don’t want to trap them._

He will lock away these contemplations for another time, maybe when the war is over and he is sure of his place in the world. For now, he will enjoy the warmth and he will enjoy the safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not amaris updating so soon. LMAO, I love trashing myself. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Sokka and Katara are the best sibling duo hands down, they have no competition.
> 
> Question of the chapter: Who do you think would win in a fight between Ty Lee and Ozai?  
> My answer: Okay, so maybe this is incredibly biased of me but I want to say, Ty Lee. From what little we know about Ozai's personality I don't think he has the same amount of respect for non-benders as Azula and Zuko do. So if Ty Lee were to fight Ozai I think he would underestimate her to the max. He'd probably just be thinking 'this ditzy girl in pink really thinks she's going to beat me?' and then proceed to get his ass beat. He'd have to get peeled off the concrete after she drops his ass and momentarily takes away his bending. I have to laugh, I love that circus freak.
> 
> Feel free to answer with your own hot takes. I love discussion and being indulged in random things that pop into my head after writing these chapters. Thank you so much to KingMegz, Greystreak98, and supergirrl for all the comments that you give me. xoxo


	11. War

Her heart hadn’t stopped racing. Not since she had told him that she watched Zuko fall to his death.

It was a lie of course, but she didn’t feel like chasing her brother around the world again. The first time around it had felt like her opportunity to humiliate him further. To prove that she was the more skilled one who could track down and retrieve her target quickly and efficiently. This time it reminded her too much of his terms of banishment. She wonders what would have happened if she hadn’t returned with her false news of Zuko’s death. Would she have been allowed to come back home? Or would she be damned to wander aimlessly in her search for him?

It had been so easy to track him down the first time when the only ally he had was Uncle. She would have counted himself as his ally but more often than not Zuko proved that he was his own worst enemy and had been since he was a child. But now it was different. He was more sure of himself, that fact had been made apparent when they faced each other at the Boiling Rock and at the Western Air Temple. He had blown through her attacks as if they were nothing. He had never been able to do that.

It scared her.

How was he able to come so far so quickly when he had struggled all of his life to perfect his forms? It wasn’t fair. She had always been strategic, hardly paying attention to the things that could go wrong with her own plans, but now she feels as if she is second-guessing her every decision. As if one bristle in the wind could be her undoing.

Ty Lee was still absent and in the dark hours of the night, her mind ran wild.

If their positions had been switched if Zuko had been the better bender and she had been weaker, what would her life look like? Would her father have wanted to cast her into the sea the day she was born? Would he have taken every opportunity to humiliate her for not being a better bender? Would he sit her in the sun for long hours throughout the day in an effort to make her stronger? Would her relationship with her brother be better?

_ Her relationship with her brother.  _ The one she had ruined for the sake of her father’s love, admiration, and attention.

Zuko who had let her name one of the baby turtleducks. Zuko who had caught her when she jumped from the cherry blossom tree after she had climbed too high to find a way back down. Her brother Zuko who had always made sure she got the first helping of dumplings at dinner.

She feels like she is drowning as each memory of her brother showing her kindness resurfaces. She had taken it all for granted and she was afraid that she was too grown, too damaged, too monstrous to ever get that back.

_ Had they ever truly been children?  _

After all, they had been bred for war. 

She remembers the days in her childhood where she would go without seeing her father. The countless amounts of times that Zuko had steered her clear of going anywhere near their father’s chambers. The ones separate from their mother’s. She had been 7 the first time she had found out. Her father had canceled their training session and instead called for her tutors. She remembers being angry that he wasn’t there the day she had completely bested her masters. She had just begun to walk in the direction of his chambers when she had come upon a scantily dressed woman in red. Her eyes were green but her black hair was in a bun that she suspects had once been much neater. There were bruises up and down her arms and the one along her neck looked like a handprint had been burned into it.

The woman had paid her no mind as she moved through the hallways of her home. She had been frozen there until she had seen her father making his way towards her. She had a brief understanding then but after her mother’s disappearance, she had a better idea of her father’s activities. 

_ Love is a weakness.  _ He had told her that day.  _ Value nothing but the power you have and you cannot fail.  _

Azula doesn’t think she has ever pitied her mother but her nights of loneliness have caused her to reevaluate. Her mother had been trapped in a loveless marriage with a man who was incapable of loving her.

_ She still got to leave. She left us here - she left me here - with him.  _

There was no point in asking why she left anymore, not when she knew the answer. But all she feels is the pain of being unloved. Did Ty Lee even love her or was she just pretending because Azula was royalty and what she said goes? Azula had bitten into her tongue so harshly the metallic taste of her blood was the only thing keeping her centered. She prays to Agni that Ty Lee does not think that way and wastes time wishing for her to come back sooner. If she stares long enough at the darkness in the corner of her room she might think that it's Ty Lee finally back from wherever she is now.

Azula had heard stories of soldiers who dreamed with their eyes open because they were too afraid to close their eyes. One soldier had said that the dreams he had when he didn’t close his eyes were always easier to shoulder. “ _ I can pass them off as a figment of my imagination, if my eyes are closed I have to accept that as the reality, and sometimes reality is too cruel to bear.”  _ She had been doing it unknowingly since after the invasion when one of her Dai Li agents had dutifully reported to her that her father and brother had spoken about her mother.

She hates them both - Zuko and Ursa. They left her, again and again, without even looking back.

_ Would you have gone with either of them if they asked? No. You know you wouldn’t have. You’re too afraid of him, of what he would do, especially after you had brought back Ty Lee from the circus. If you left and Ty Lee stayed behind he would have taken it out on her. If both you and Ty Lee left he would have taken it out on her family. Do you think she would let you hold her if her family suffered because of your actions?  _

She has recently begun to wish that her father was dead. It would make things so much easier if he were gone. The crushing weight on her chest, the feeling of always being watched, her fear of the consequences of failure would all dissipate with him gone. But she can’t do it.

_ He loves me. He has to love me. _

He was supposed to love her mother too, but that didn’t stop him from hurting her or stop him from sleeping with other women. He was supposed to love her brother, but that did not stop him from humiliating him and carefully burning off nearly half of his face. He was supposed to love her but she has had long debates with herself on whether he really does or not.

_ Love is a weakness. _

She had done and was capable of horrible things but she had still loved in her own way. She had loved her grandfather but not in the way that she would mourn him after his death. She had loved her Uncle but had felt agitated by the glimmer in his eye that kept unknown secrets and his roundabout way of answering questions. She had loved her cousin before his death and had been angry that her Uncle had not burned Ba Sing Se to the ground after it had taken his life. She had loved her mother and her brother but feared that attaching herself to them would result in disappointing her father. She had loved them quietly and privately. She loves Ty Lee, or at least she thinks she does.

She wonders if that is what has made Zuko so strong now. Having people openly and unabashedly care for him. She had seen the way the waterbender girl had caught him when he was falling. She had reached out with no hesitation and pulled him into her. The Avatar and his pesky friends had gone back to catch him when he fell while she had no one. She had to rely on her quick thinking to save herself. She had smirked at his disappearing form but internally she had felt hollow. People were always ready to save and protect Zuzu but she always had to save herself by herself.

Even her mother had looked better. Her eyes were not sunken into her face as they had been the last few years before her disappearance. Her golden eyes were brighter in the light of the sun than they had been within the confines of life in the palace. Most likely the result of building herself a new life without having to worry that her actions would lead to consequences. She had probably gotten herself a brand new family too.

Mother and son both banished, yet happier because of it.

Father and daughter united in their goal of conquest, yet poisoned with paranoia because of it.

She wishes she had the strength to understand. Understand why there were those who were loved and those who were unloved. For once in her life she wants someone to pick her. Not because of her title or out of fear but because they wanted to spend a life with her and she wanted to spend a life with them. For someone to pick her and her faults and for her to pick them and their faults.

_ Love is a weakness.  _

Is it really?

_ There is strength in kindness and compassion _ .

But could she trust it?

She is trying to fight a war for the Fire Nation to conquer the world. She cannot afford to fight a war with herself and with the conflicting views and ideologies of her parents. Which one is she supposed to listen to? 

_ Why should you abandon your father’s teachings when he hasn’t abandoned you? Your mother and brother left without putting up a fight. Did they look back and offer you a way out? Your father gave you everything, how could you want to throw his words aside? How could you want him dead? _

Her consciousness sounds like the condescending voice she speaks to her brother in and she feels the burn of tears forming in her eyes. She wishes she had answers to her questions or someone to offer her guidance that does not leave her empty and burnt out.

For the second time that night, she wishes Ty Lee were here. If only just to hold her.

As she lets a tear stray down her cheek she allows her vulnerability its fleeting opportunity of acknowledgment and asks aloud  _ or have you left me too? _

* * *

This is the third night he has dreamed like this. Dreamed of conversations with his past lives.

He has begun to get good at calling forth particular Avatar’s to ask them for wisdom and guidance. The majority of them being air benders themselves, in an attempt to rectify his feelings about the recent information that has been brought to his attention. They have all told him familiar things and he is unsure if that is supposed to make him feel better or worse.

It is the third night he has woken up feeling like he is short of air, evident by the harsh rise and fall of his chest. It is the third night he wishes Katara had more interest in what he was learning about his people. It is the third night he is bitter that she is not here. It is the third night Toph sleeps beside him and for that he is grateful.

_ “What do I do?”  _ He had asked them.

He needed help. He needed to know how he can achieve his destiny without compromising what he grew up to understand. He needed an answer to give his friends when they asked him once again how he planned on defeating the Fire Lord.

_ “Being the Avatar requires sacrifice.”  _

Hadn’t he sacrificed enough?

_ “It may not be what you want but it is necessary.”  _

But what if he couldn’t do what was necessary? What would happen to his friends if he failed?

He lays flat on his back looking up at the ceiling thinking about what the Sun Warriors had told him. He had remembered thinking that what they had said regarding his responsibility in failing the dragons was incorrect. But now he realizes that he is to blame, if only partially, along with Roku.

Even though he is loath to admit it, he is also partially responsible for many of the bad things that have happened to people because he ran away. He thinks he understands Kyoshi’s frustration with her reincarnation. More recently he has frequently wished that Roku had made the hard decisions instead of leaving him with the aftermath. Sure, Aang was destined to be the Avatar but what did Roku expect him to be able to do so young?

The firebender in him can feel the sun beginning to rise. Zuko will be expecting him soon to begin training but Aang feels drained as if all this talking with his previous lives is sucking the youthfulness from his body. He feels old.

_ Technically speaking you’re already an old man because you’re a reincarnation of a bunch of old people.  _ The voice in his head (that had a striking resemblance to Bumi’s voice) pointed out. Despite the lingering discontentment and tiredness that has settled in his bones, he lets out a huffing laugh. Casting a side-eyed glance at Toph, trying to be as quiet as possible with the intention of not waking her up. The first night after their impromptu arrangement he had woken her up and she had punched him so hard he thought she broke all the bones in his body. It turned out that his arm was actually asleep and the tingling sensation was it trying to wake back up.

He has come to appreciate Toph a great deal more than he did at the start of their friendship. Before they go to sleep later today they will talk about what he learned in his prior dream. Letting him attempt to work his way through what he has been told by his previous lives. He has yet to mention all the debating that has been done concerning what he has to do when the time comes to fight Ozai.

As he slowly rolls himself off of his shared bed he does his best to keep his eyes on her face. Trying to detect whether or not she is actually awake and just humoring him before she unleashes hell on him. As he reaches the edge and his toes brush the cool floor her eyes remain closed and the rise and fall of her chest is still even. Unconsciously he smiles at her sleeping form and how serene she looks, her dark hair unkempt and falling at odd angles over the pillow she is using. He reaches out a hand as if to brush her hair back behind her ear but stops himself looking down at it as if a stranger is in his body. As if he had no control over his own movements.

He swiftly exits the room, nearly slamming the door closed behind him, and speeding down the hall before Toph wakes up because of his erratic heartbeat. That would not do him any good. He feels confused.

Even while training with Zuko it’s like he isn’t there. His fire doesn’t burn as bright nor is there much effort in the blasts he sends toward his sifu. If Zuko notices that something is amiss (which he definitely does) he doesn’t say anything about it. Not even the sight of Katara in the glow of the morning sun shakes him out of his stupor. He doubts his confusion would have mattered much to her anyway, given how much she now dotes on Zuko rather than him.

“You guys! Today is supposed to be a day for relaxation and shenanigans! Why are you still hard at work sparring?” Sokka bursts out of the house with much more enthusiasm than normal.

“It’s necessary to continue trai-” Zuko begins but is quickly cut off.

“What do you have in mind Snoozles?” 

Aang hadn’t even realized that Toph had joined them outside until her voice pipes up from behind Suki. The grin on her face is familiar and Aang feels the pressure on his chest ease. He pushes aside his strange actions from this morning in favor of reminding himself that she is one of his closest friends. That it is only natural for him to care for her.

Sokka rips his tunic off and starts running to the beach. Twisting his body to look behind him and shout “BEACH PARTY!”

Toph and Suki take off running after him, laughing and shouting. From the corner of his eye, he sees Zuko and Katara shake their heads with smiles on their faces staring at one another like exhausted parents watching their children.

Running from the sharpness that pinches his heart he chases after his friends. Nearly missing the way Toph manipulated the sand Sokka was currently trying to use to build a sandcastle making it fall every time he manages to create a pile.

It feels like minutes but it could have been hours before he sees Katara and Zuko appear. They both have their hands full with brunch but with no place to put it down other than the sandy ground they stand on.

_ Maybe that’s why she dotes on him. Because he is constantly helping her with the menial tasks that keep their group running. _

Wanting to do nothing more than please the girl of his dreams he attempts to create a table out of the sand. It is not perfect but it should hold. Despite his help, Katara only offers him a small smile as she sets up the table with their food and drinks. The sharpness is crawling up his throat and doesn’t dissipate as he attempts to beat it back. As they eat he sits in silence taking bite after bite of his food so that he has an excuse for not speaking up.

After the food is all gone he decides that two can play at that game. So he pulls Toph away to the opposite side of where their friends currently are and is thoroughly surprised that she doesn’t stop him. He offers her no explanation either and is once again grateful that she knows when to press him and when not to.

“Hey, Twinkle Toes check this out!” She stomps once and flattens out her hands so that they are parallel to the sand in front of her. He watches in awe and amazement as the sand shifts and changes into something new.

Toph is an artisan of a bender. She has created a small replica of Ba Sing Se including a mini King Kuei and Bosco. His eyes run over the tiny houses and shops, the walls and gates that separate one tier from another.

“Toph,” he begins breathlessly, “it’s beautiful.”

Her pale cheeks are coated with red and he isn’t sure if that is because of the compliment he has given her or if the sun is burning her.

He doesn’t think anyone has ever described her bending as beautiful. Perhaps destructive and powerful but never beautiful. Perhaps because it relies on being unmovable and unshakeable rather than ever-changing and looking for alternatives.

If she was rattled before her face no longer bears any evidence of it.

“Alright Fancy Dancer, Snoozles may be okay with taking the day off but I’m not. Let’s play with some sand.”

That is how they spend the rest of the afternoon, learning how to manipulate different amounts of sand. He thinks back to the Si Wong Desert and how cruel he had been to her when she had been nearly helpless. He had never personally apologized for what he had said to her, never truly apologized to any of them for the way he lashed out. At least not an apology where he didn’t bring up his own misfortune. He is starting to learn that while his feelings are valid they are not an excuse to belittle others. Perhaps that had been what had driven Katara so far from him. Maybe if he starts to make amends the proper way she’ll come back to him.

Clearing his throat of any hesitations that may stop the words from coming out he prepares himself to apologize to Toph.

“I’m sorry for what I said to you back in the desert Toph.”

She tilts her head to the side if only slightly as if waiting for him to continue.

“I was out of line for how cruel I was to you, especially after you had saved all of our lives.” He stops himself before he can bring up his own personal grievances.

His friends had known how important Appa was to him; he didn’t need to explain it.

“I already forgave you for that.”

A small smile graces his lip and he reaches for her hand giving it a gentle squeeze. They stand there in silence with the sun on their backs and the wind blowing through their beach attire. The peacefulness is broken as Sokka comes running up to them and slaps his hands on his knees out of breath. 

“Why is it so hard to run in sand? Absolutely ridiculous if you ask me.”

“Chump.” Toph snickers as she hears Sokka sputter.

“Young lady!” He goes to lecture her but she bursts out into a fit of giggles.

“Leave the parenting to our resident gloomy man and overbearing lady.”

The jealousy he had been ignoring for the last few hours emerges once again like a wolf-bat. He swallows it down and focuses on the hill of sand just behind Sokka’s right shoulder counting to ten to center himself.

With his hands on his hips, Sokka rolls his eyes, “I just came to tell you both that it's about time to get ready for the play.” He drags out the end of the word and shimmies his shoulders.

“Race you back to the house!” Toph takes off running using her bending to smoothen out the sand she uses as a path to the house. Rising to the challenge both boys take off after her no doubt tracking lingering grains of sand into the house Katara had most likely cleaned earlier.

His thoughts always manage to go back to her. As he goes up to his room to freshen up he considers making a move on her tonight. Hoping that he will secure his future if destiny treats him kindly.

_ Please _ , he whispers,  _ please just let me have this. _

He could have sworn he heard someone else say  _ she isn’t yours to have. _

* * *

Katara is bone-deep tired. After a day in the sun and several friendly sparring matches with Zuko, she considers staying home from the play in favor of getting some rest.

She knows that she can’t do that though. She wouldn’t dare leave Zuko alone to take care of their group, especially not when Sokka has managed to nab a full coin purse that she knows he intends to spend on snacks. Also, she wanted to see how factual the play would actually be. They had come a long way from the beginning of their journey at the South Pole not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.

For so long the Fire Nation had been the villain in her story. Faceless men in red uniforms plagued the nightmares of her people. Black soot mixing with the bloody red snow had been one of the only consistent things she held on to. This no doubt would have never changed if her rage had not cracked the ice Aang had been asleep in.

She would have been damned to a life of solitude and rage never knowing peace or the truth behind the warmongering. She would have never seen that villains can come from any place and wear any face. The men of the North had been villains when they had refused her the right to learn combative bending. Jet had been her villain with his honeyed words and betrayal, later becoming someone she considers a friend after rectifying his own internal issues. The Dai Li had been villains when they held Appa captive and tried to do away with them. Under their service of Azula, they are villains - turning on their own people.

She had thought that the entire Fire Nation had been united in their pride for the war they had started. But when she had looked into the faces of men, women, and children from the very nation she had grown up to despise she saw their despair. Their discontent with the crown and the aristocracy of their country that stole their eligible children from them and poisoned their land and water supply.

Katara had always believed that she would never turn her back on people that needed her. That would be true until the day she no longer had breath in her lungs. Until the war ended, her place would be fighting those who would let the world burn so long as they reigned supreme. She had told Zuko as much earlier after they had gone through several rounds of sparring.

“It’s too late for my father. Nothing anyone says will change his mind. I-” He trails off worrying his lip with his teeth. He snaps back to attention as she freezes his feet to the sand.

He offered her a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. They had been sparring for a while so she decided that maybe it was time for a break. She plopped down in the sand and looked up at him waiting for him to join her. When his arm brushed hers as he situated himself she shivered at the proximity despite the sun being high in the sky.

“What were you going to say?” She looks at him with what she hopes he understands as patience and a lack of judgment.

He gapes like a fish for a moment or two and she has to tell herself not to smile at how impossibly adorable he looks doing so.

“I just hope it isn’t too late for my sister,” he had told her quietly. As if thinking that if he had said it any louder it would have caused her to question him.

Zuko rarely talks about his family unless it is necessary with the exception of Iroh. The stories and facts he has shared with them are not things she wants to force him to speak about. This is the first time he has opened up - if only a little bit - in a willingness to talk about his thoughts and concerns with his family.

He had been about to justify his hopes but she had rested her palm against his forearm and looked him in the eyes. Finding something there he placed his own hand on top of hers, closing his eyes and letting out a shaky breath.

“It’s all she knows. I can’t help but think that maybe if I have a chance to reason with her she’ll change her mind.”

She rubbed her thumb up and down in a soothing gesture as he continued speaking.

“I’ve never seen her as unkempt as she had been at the Western Air Temple. To anyone else, she would have looked put together but I know her well enough to know she was faking it.” With his eyes still closed he takes pauses to keep his breathing even.

She had pressed herself closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. He had stiffened for a partial second before registering that it was still her at his side he relaxed them placing his own head on top of hers.

“Does that make me a bad person? For still wanting to save her, after all, she’s done?”

She could not find the words to give him for the first few minutes. Cautiously picking out the words that could affect their friendship.

“I can’t even begin to understand what it feels like to be in this situation Zuko. I’ve always had Sokka on my side. But I don’t think you’re a bad person for wanting to be merciful. Maybe if she’s given the chance to prosper without your father breathing down her neck she’ll get better.”

She had been afraid to look him in the eyes as he pulled away from her. Keeping her eyes on the horizon as the hand on top of hers danced up her arm and to the apple of her exposed cheek. His fingers lightly grazing her face until she looked up at him.

There has always been something about his eyes that makes them so captivating. Not in the way where she feels like he is a predator and she is his prey. She feels seen in the pools of gold he has for irises and since she has forgiven him the way he looks at her feels indescribable but she will try.

It’s like he’s seeing her again for the first time in a long time. Like their souls have waited so long to find one another after centuries of waiting. It leaves her breathless and warm filled with a light that no darkness could snuff out. It also makes her incredibly shy.

He had said nothing more about his family after that and they had sat there in silence sometimes fleetingly glancing at one another to find the other already staring. They would share a smile and say nothing about the increasing redness that settled on both of their faces out of embarrassment that they had been caught.

Katara has grown to love moments alone with Zuko. Where she does not have to run around doing a million things at once. There is a peace she has not known for a long time that has returned to her - the one where someone else takes care of her. Sokka and Gran-Gran had taken care of her (in their own unique ways) for the sake of being her family. Zuko truly had no reason to go out of his way to do the things he does for her but he does it anyway.

Even when they had been enemies he had never been too rough with her. In fact, when she recalls the night with the pirates he had put himself directly in front of her body. Covering her from the leering gazes of men three times her age. When it came down to physicalities he could have killed her plenty of times or let other members of his nation harm her.

It was the bare minimum of humanity and it had hurt her a bit when other men expected something out of their kindness. He has always acted out of instinct first rather than for personal gain, even to his own detriment.

As she dresses for their night out she picks something that is both comfortable and that might grab his attention. Praying to Tui and La that she does not look ridiculous or make a fool out of herself, she smooths her hands over her body. Grabbing a cloak and fastening it to her person she makes her way downstairs and finds Aang spread out on one of the sofas.

She is not proud when she thinks about how she has been avoiding being alone with him. He had apologized to them already and she had forgiven him but their friendship didn’t feel the same anymore. It hadn’t felt the same since Ba Sing Se.

She cannot afford to lose his friendship but she also doesn’t want to give him the wrong idea. She had spent nearly a week thinking of ways to put things lightly and her heart hammers and an acrid taste burns the back of her throat.

She prays that tonight is not the night she breaks her friend's heart, but deep down she knows that when the glow of the moon lights up the night sky, only three people will know the end to that conversation. Given Aang’s recent moodiness and attitude, she isn’t hopeful for the outcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays to all who celebrate! It's me, amaris, back at it again with my shenanigans. Please forgive me for updating so late I was really struggling with inspiration for this chapter. The next chapter is nearly halfway done so I expect to have that up sometime this week :). 
> 
> Question of the chapter: If Iroh had fought Ozai on the day of Sozin's comet (taking Aang's place) who do you think would have won?   
> My answer: I think it would end in a draw. Both Iroh and Ozai are powerful and capable benders but they've never had a one-on-one fight in the show, so it makes it difficult to determine who would win. Ozai is ruthless but Iroh is strategic and cunning. Ozai has control of his fire but is incredibly reckless with it and doesn't care who gets hurt in the process while Iroh has control of his fire and has learned from the first masters of fire. Neither brother would spare the other if it came down to it either.
> 
> Let me know your opinion on the question! 
> 
> xoxo - saintamaris


	12. Severance

**_Severance_ **

_The act of severing or the state of being severed._

_A breaking off, as of friendship._

* * *

Almost everyone she comes across has one perception of her. Robed in her pink outfit she doesn’t blame them. Her talk of auras and friendly nature has them thinking strangely of her.

They underestimate her.

For a long time, she had been a passive observer in the palace. Gathering information and cordial friendships with other members of the nobility. In the beginning, she had been unsure of why her parents had asked her certain questions about the people within the palace. Things that she would hear them say in passing down to the very last detail that she could remember and the types of moods former Fire Lord Azulon and then Fire Prince Ozai had been in.

When Fire Lord Azulon had passed their questioning died down and they were hesitant to allow her to remain friends with Mai, Azula, and Zuko. But they had let her continue going anyway. It hadn’t been until Zuko’s banishment that her parents’ worry spiked and for the first time she felt it too. The looming danger that was present in the nation she grew up in.

She wrote them a letter telling them that she was leaving the palace and not to send or worry about her. She’d told Mai that she was leaving as well but had given her explicit instructions to not tell Azula where she was going.

The thing about a traveling circus is that people from all over let things slip - sometimes things that they shouldn’t let slip.

On her 15th birthday, one of her older sisters showed up unexpectedly along with another stranger. Ty Lin had waited until the moon was at its peak to appear to her. With her appearance, she was given answers to questions she hadn’t bothered asking as a child.

Her parents belonged to the secret society known as the White Lotus, and while their father was a nobleman he didn’t have enough reason to be in Caldera all the time to gather intel. It had been suspected that Ozai was going to make a move for the throne and that had been proven true when he was crowned after his father’s death. The organization needed tabs on the types of people his children were becoming. They thought Zuko was a headstrong boy but one that would prove to be a wise and efficient leader if given the opportunity. Only a few people had the same opinion of Azula.

For all of Azula’s faults, Ty Lee cared for her deeply. She agreed that she would help the organization look for the Avatar and attempt to stop the war but that she would have no part in harming Azula. 

Staring at her still form from the corner of her room becoming one with the darkness she realizes that she already has. She will wait for hours until Azula’s eyes close and finally goes to sleep before she slips out of her hiding spot. She will leave the letter on her vanity and hope that one day Azula will forgive her.

Azula never counted on anyone to save her, even if she were drowning, or falling from the sky. Mostly because she had never had someone to save her. This time will be different. Ty Lee is doing this to save her.

Azula had been left alone to endure her father’s teachings and lessons. Abandoned by her cousin, uncle, mother, brother, Ty Lee, and Mai. Even though for the most part their absence was not intentional. She had been left alone and groomed into believing that things are to be done a certain way.

But there are different ways to love someone, and there are different ways to show that love. Ty Lee had originally thought that by going with Azula to search for Zuko was a show of her love. But that had done her more harm than good. She had thought that by asking Azula to spare Mai that it was also a show of love. Reminding her that Mai had been her friend for a long time and that she wouldn’t forgive herself if Mai was hurt.

This is her major declaration. The bag full of reports from the Fire Lord’s desk rests against her back and centers her focus on the task at hand. After she escapes from the palace she will meet up with White Lotus contacts on the docks and they will take her as far as they can.

Eyes still on Azula she allows herself to mouth the words she desperately wishes she could say aloud.

_I love you, my sun._

* * *

Zuko was bracing himself for the inevitable bad that he was being forced to watch. At least he would have an excuse to sit next to Katara and share a snack with her.

He is grateful that he had enough foresight to wear a cloak that now covers the blush coating his cheeks at the idea of accidentally touching her hand as they both reach for the snack at the same time.

Toph snickers beside him and he knows it’s at his expense and groans quietly at his accelerated heartbeat.

“Whatcha thinking about over there Hotman?” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

They are at the back of the group and their friends are a bit farther forward than them. He takes a deep breath and prays that no one else heard her remark. The last thing he needs now is Sokka trying to offer him relationship advice. He nearly shudders at the thought.

“Um, well, I was thinking about, um.”

“There’s no point in lying to me Sparky, I’ll know.” The smirk on her face seems permanent as it tends to be the expression he sees her wear most.

Crossing his arms over his chest he keeps walking leaving her in silence.

“Come on Sparky! Don’t do me like that! Tell me what’s got your tunic in a twist?” He once again ignores her.

“So I’m just going to go out on a limb here and guess that it has something to do with Katara.” He stops suddenly while his friends continue their journey to the theater, leaving him and Toph behind without looking back.

He spins to face her and sputters out an excuse when he should have just kept his mouth shut and kept going. Toph lets out a howling laugh and clutches her stomach as if she is watching the funniest spectacle of a lifetime. He tries to shush her but that only makes her laugh louder, her pale face turning red as she forgets to let the oxygen in.

Her laugh leads to coughing and she thumps her fist against her chest as if that will make it any better. She wipes the tears that have accumulated at the sides of her eyes and continues walking.

“You’ve got it bad,” she punctuates between words and he lets out a huff at the fact that his feelings have been exposed to their resident gambler. How much is it going to cost him to keep her from telling anyone anything? He suspects Suki already has an inclination given that she is incredibly bright (although he questions her relationship skills, but admires her bravery for putting up with Sokka’s creature killing socks). Sokka probably has no clue about it yet given that he most likely doesn’t want to think about his sister becoming romantically involved with anyone. Aang would be the one to deny it for the sake of his own feelings for Katara, and Katara well she is too focused on helping everyone else to prioritize herself.

He kicks at the dirt path in front of him and bows his head. He doesn’t think she cares about him in that way anyway. For the rest of the way, he and Toph walk in silence and Katara is the only person waiting for them outside. When she sees them her face brightens and she smiles and his heart does a funny little dance upon seeing her.

Toph snickers once again and he fights the urge to punch _her_ in the arm just this once but decides to not do that in front of Katara. 

“I’ll get you for that someday, Bei Fong,” he whispers menacingly and she offers him a smile of delight walking off into the theater leaving him along with Katara.

They share one of those private smiles that have become more common since they became friends and head in after her. He gives Toph directions until they reach the box and are met with the sight of Sokka having nearly an entire row full of snacks leaving little room for anyone to sit down there.

“I didn’t know which ones to choose from! I’ll give you Fire nationals some credit, you’ve got really good snacks.” They all pick out the different things they plan on enjoying during the play and get settled. He lightly pushes Aang away with his hip so that he can sit on the other side of Katara as Toph has taken up her other side.

“Actually, I was going to sit there.”

“Just sit by me.”

He is glad when Aang doesn’t bother arguing with him, not that it would have helped because Zuko was not going to move. He doesn’t care if his body goes numb, if he had to come to this play he is going to at least get to enjoy sitting by Katara without having to fully babysit anyone tonight. As the theater goes dark and the crowd is silent he keeps his eyes forward and tries to be optimistic. 

Maybe they won’t be terrible this time around.

\- 

The first act was complete shit.

Not only because it throws all of his terrible decisions in his face but also for its poor characterizations of him and his friends. They make Katara out to be this weepy damsel in distress who constantly needs to be saved when that is quite literally the opposite. They make Sokka out to be this dumb idiot who can’t tell his right from his left when Sokka is a bonafide genius. A woman with a bald cap plays Aang, but truthfully it is an accurate depiction of the way the boy behaves. And apparently, Suki doesn’t exist which is complete bullshit because she’s sitting behind him and could easily harm a third of the audience single-handedly.

They are not even halfway through the play and he already wants to rip out his hair. But Toph’s eagerness to see the play once she is introduced is making up for his agitation. 

He has to fight a stunned gaze when a burly man easily twice her size is introduced as the Blind Bandit. She looks overjoyed at the characterization and the happy smug smile on her face is proof of it. He thinks the reason why she is being played by a man is that the people she’s beaten up don’t want to admit they were bested by someone so tiny. His fingers accidentally graze Katara’s as he settles back into his seat, he shoots her a panicked glance but she softly smiles at him.

Her eyes seem dimmer and he knows it isn’t only because of the lights but rather because she is upset about her representation. He cups her hand in his and rubs his thumb back and forth over her knuckles. She rests her head on his shoulder and continues watching the play and he does the same, wishing that this time around it’s better for them.

When the play gets up to the catacombs under Ba Sing Se the both of them stiffen against one another. Their friends are beginning to side-eye them and the position they are currently in is not helping their case. The play version of him has ridiculous hair and keeps shaking it and is wooing the play version of Katara much better than he could have ever done so.

 _At least they let me have the ability to talk to women_. Albeit they totally missed the part where he went on a date with Jin.

When it gets to the part where he betrays his Uncle she raises her head to look at him.

“You didn’t really say that to him did you?”

He feels embarrassment and shame creep up his neck and something bitter is sitting in the back of his throat, “I might as well have, I was awful to him.”

She closes her eyes for a few seconds and then opens them to look back at him, “I’m glad you’ve made your amends.” Then she returns to her previous position with her head on his shoulder but closes her eyes so that she doesn’t have to relive his betrayal all over again.

He keeps watching as a form of punishment and as a reminder.

_I could have had a home earlier if I had just listened._

-

The play is intermission and he has followed Toph to sit outside of the bathrooms saving spots for both Suki and Sokka who went on a stealth mission beforehand. He feels the need to explain himself to her; to explain the person he used to be at the start of Aang’s awakening from the ice. But it’s as if she knows where his mind is headed and she shakes her head.

“We aren’t the same people we were nearly half a year ago, and we’re better off because of it.”

“Was the thing about your parents true?”

She lets out a breath of hot air that pushes her bands to the side only for them to go back to where they were before.

“They put it mildly in there. My parents didn’t even want people to know I existed, not necessarily out of shame but because they thought I was too incompetent to do anything on my own. When I first joined the group I took my anger out on Katara because I thought she was bossy. I didn’t even pay attention to the fact that she treated me like I was capable until I wasn’t when we lost Appa in the dessert.”

“When I first met your uncle he told me that it was okay to let people take care of me, and it's okay to want to let people look out for you. He said that was something we had in common - our reluctance to let people do that. So, I’m rooting for you and Sugar Queen, you both are already good at taking care of one another.”

He ruffled her hair and they shared a laugh. They are cut off as a little kid with a bald cap comes running towards them.

“That’s a nice Zuko costume, but your scar’s on the wrong side!” Without waiting for any comment he takes off down the rest of the hallway.

“The scar is not on the wrong side!” He finds himself yelling after the kid and flicks the hood of his cloak up. Toph is once again laughing at his expense. Before he has to bear any more humiliation, Sokka and Suki appear.

Sokka offers them no greeting before speedily walking into the bathroom. Suki gives them a little wave of acknowledgment before she walks into the women’s restroom. He is about to resume a conversation with Toph when he thinks he makes out Katara’s voice.

“I’ll be back, Champ. Think you can make fun of Sokka’s small bladder enough for the two of us if I’m not back in time?” Her evil little grin is plastered to her face and he takes that as a yes.

The door to the balcony is open and he is nearly there when he hears the sound of a smack. 

“I just told you I was confused!” She doesn’t sound physically hurt but she is definitely upset. He is full-on ready to help her handle the assailant when Aang comes stomping out of the alcove. 

“Oh great you’re here,” he says bitterly and with a glare as cold as ice, passing Zuko to go off who knows where.

Zuko pays him no mind. Aang might be his friend but his passive-aggressive nature is not something Zuko can put up with at the moment. He knocks on the door to the balcony and Katara turns around to face him. The firelight from the lanterns shows him the tears that are streaking down her face and he feels the anger in his stomach rise. She buries her face in her hands and her body shakes as she lets out a few more tears. 

He takes careful steps towards her in an attempt to not startle her.

“Do you need me to do anything for you?” He asks and finds that he means it. She could ask him to go hunt Aang down and he would if only to please her. She uses the heel of her hands to wipe any remaining tears from her eyes.

“Can you take me home? _Please._ “ It is the please that gets him. He offers her his hand and guides her out from the privacy of the balcony. They will have to pass by the bathrooms to make their way out of the theater, which will save them time in having to track down one of their friends to tell them that they are leaving. Nor would they have to return to the booth to get any belongings as both he and Katara kept their cloaks on during the play.

They are nearing the bathrooms when Sokka makes an appearance. He is stretching out his hips and doing a few squats before his attention is drawn to them. He takes one look at Katara’s face and in turn, his own goes dark.

Zuko has seldom seen Sokka angry and never like this. When they are angry both Katara and Sokka’s eyes burn a dark blue and it is impossible to not get lost in them. It consumes anything it wants too, and he isn’t sure what deductions her brother has made for that look to stay on his face. He is visibly angry and with the clench of his hands looks ready to tear something apart.

“Not now Sokka. I’ll tell you later, just not now. Zuko’s going to take me back to the house, you go enjoy the rest of the play.”

The silence is tense as four out of the five people huddled together stand waiting for Sokka’s response. Suki and Toph have offered no interjections and their faces are as still as stone. Sokka puts his hands on his sister's arms and presses a kiss to her forehead.

“Get home safe.”

Katara raises her available hand to press on the vein popping out of Sokka’s forehead.

“I’m okay, I promise.” Her words soothe her brother and the vein disappears as he lets out a shaky breath. Sokka is 19 and looks like he wears the weight of the world on his shoulders as he looks at his sister. He presses one last kiss to her brow and shoots Zuko a sharp look that he understands completely. It’s the same look he wore when he asked him to make sure Katara came back safe after tracking down Yon Rha.

With his hands hanging limply by his side, Suki moves closer to Sokka’s side grabbing one of his hands and rubbing her other one over his arm. He looks at her so lovingly it’s almost sickening but given what he’s learned and knows about the Water Prince’s previously failed relationship he is happy for him. Sokka shakes his hand out of hers and puts that arm around her shoulder.

“We’ll see you two at home,” and with that, they make their way back to the play.

“Say the word Sugar Queen and I will end whoever it is.”

Something he has observed in Toph is that if anyone hurts Katara she is fully prepared to take drastic measures to make sure they suffer in turn. It’s evident that she has a soft spot for the Water Princess and who is he, to blame her? Katara made her feel seen and treated her like she was capable before ever truly understanding the complexities of Toph’s relationship with her parents. They’ll fight one another but the bond they share is unbreakable.

“I think I hurt him enough tonight,” Katara sounds sad at that and he fights the urge to tell Toph that it’s Aang’s fault. 

“Don’t worry, his lessons tomorrow will be dreadful.” They might as well call Toph the _All-Seeing._ Katara lets out a watery laugh and allows Zuko to usher her down the hall and further until they reach the doors to exit the theater.

It is just the two of them on this path with only the moonlight to guide them.

Zuko had always been told that he was a poor liar so he focused on being honest. But it wasn’t until he wanted to get on his knees and repent to her that the light of the moon made him all the more honest.

* * *

Katara doesn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. Mostly out of frustration and anger. But she was also so tired. Tired of always being the one to give her mind, body, and soul to have that still not be enough.

He’d asked her if she could ever find it in herself to love him, and she had told him the truth. _Not in the way you want me to._ She had been planning on avoiding this discussion for as long as possible, which may have been the problem. Perhaps if she had tried earlier before Ba Sing Se or sometime in between, he would have been more understanding.

“Is there someone else? Is that why?” He had questioned, and she had told them the truth. That yes there was someone else, that someone being her.

“We’re in the middle of a war,” she had tried to explain to him and he shot her down just as quickly using her brother and Suki as the reasoning behind her failure of an excuse.

“I’m choosing myself, just this once Aang. Have you not been watching the play? Since you woke up I have done nothing but put you first, and when the war ends I’m going to have to put my tribe first. But I won’t force myself into something I know I can’t do.”

He had kissed her _again_ without her consent and when she slapped him he acted as if that was a surprise. It had been a surprise to her. She didn’t think she was angry enough to do such a thing. To slap the boy savior who was infatuated with her and called it love. She thinks that by doing so she has ruined their friendship as something seemed to break during their heated argument on the balcony.

When Zuko had appeared she tried to hide from him so that he wouldn’t see the tears making tracks down her face. He let the anger dissipate from his muscles and the clench of his jaw but it was still in his eyes. The anger is not towards her though and she wonders just how much of the conversation he heard. She had been relieved when they had gotten past her brother and friends without seeing Aang again. She doesn’t think she can take seeing him again tonight.

The walk back to the beach house seems shorter than it normally does even though they walk in silence. Zuko is a pillar of strength beside her and she knows that if she were to stumble or collapse at all that he will pick her right back up or carry her if need be. When they reach the house he diverts and leads the both of them further - the crashing of the waves and the sand beneath her sandals make her let out a soft sigh. He offers her his arm as she stops and bends to remove the sandals allowing her feet to sink into the ground.

She does not let his arm go as he sits them down in the space just before the ocean water kisses the sand. He waits for her to speak, knowing that when she is ready she will bring herself to include him in her troubles. They could have been sitting there for a minute or an hour before she is ready to tell him anything.

“He kissed me. Again.” Her voice is no louder than a whisper but from the way his body tenses next to her own it might have convinced her that she had shouted it.

“Is that not something you wanted?” She is not strong enough to keep his gaze and that is enough of an answer for him. His body is trembling with barely contained anger beside her and it affects his ability to ask anything else.

She tells him everything. He listens intently and the clench in his jaw tightens every time something upsets him. She feels exhausted after doing so. They had started the day happily content with enjoying one another’s company only for it to end like this. He is vehemently shaking his head when she finishes catching him up to speed.

“I know I shouldn’t be the one telling you this, but I’m sorry Katara. You didn’t deserve that.” She opens her mouth to refute him, to tell him maybe she does, but he stares at her and she finds herself forgetting any argument she was about, to begin with, him.

“No one deserves to have someone overstep their boundaries. Especially if that person is supposed to be your friend.” She melts against him and presses her head into his chest and he rests one of his hands on her mid-back. Soothingly rubbing circles into it. With his free hand, he grabs hers and presses it against his heart.

They sit listening to the crashing of waves to settle themselves. She takes in the slow steady beating of his heart and how their hands move every time he breathes. It steadies her and keeps her in the present instead of going back and thinking about the ways she could have handled her situation with Aang better.

“You were right, those Ember Island Players really suck.” He looks down into her eyes and laughs with her as they reminisce about the horrible acting they watched tonight. As their laughter dies down they are still looking at one another and she wishes that they could stay in this moment. To make it permanent. The moonlight rests gently on the left side of his face and she thinks he looks beautiful like this. However, she won’t deny how her heart races when she watches him bend as the sun comes up from behind him.

He removes their clasped hands from his chest and brings them to his lips. He closes his eyes and presses a soft kiss to the back of her hand and she is enamored at the sight of him. She thinks about the love stories she has read about during her travels. She thinks that this is the making of a beautiful one. There is a private sort of intimacy in the way he has his head bowed to her while his lips baptize her hand. 

When he removes them from her hand she tries to not pay attention to how cold it feels without him there. He waits to see what she will do. In the back of her mind, Katara recognizes the striking differences in how Aang and Zuko give and take affection. Aang, the boy who was undoubtedly cared about by his fellow monks and looked after. Zuko, the man whose shoulders show the struggle of being told he is undeserving of that love and care, yet gives it readily to anyone he thinks is worthy. Upon the realization, she acts on impulse. Reminiscent of the first time she has done this, Katara raises her hand to brush her fingertips across the edge of his scar but this time around he keeps his eyes open. Unsure of the intimacy she is giving him in return. She cups his cheek and he leans his face into her palm and lifts it only to press a kiss to it and returns his face back into her palm. She straightens her back so that they are now more at eye level and she brings his head down to press a kiss to his forehead.

Her lips are still on his forehead when he lets out a shaky exhale and once more closes his eyes. When she decides to remove her lips from his face she presses her forehead against his. 

In this moment they are one and there is no place she would rather be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Chrysler! I had realized that I hadn't written in Ty Lee's pov yet, so I hope it was enjoyable. I have another multi-chapter fic I'm working on at the moment called "Honey, I Shrunk Our Friends!" If anyone is interested in reading that. As always, thank you all for reading and commenting.
> 
> Question of the chapter: If Katara was the Avatar, what element do you think she would have the hardest time learning, and why?  
> My answer: I think that she would struggle to learn air. It's the element of freedom and she's been burdened with responsibility since her mother's death. I think it would be hard for her to let go of particular things that are necessary for her to learn how to air bend, much like how Korra struggled. I think earth and fire would come easier to her because she's incredibly stubborn and grounded in her responsibility and what is expected of her. She knows how to adapt as a water bender but she also knows when to be unyielding and uncompromising.
> 
> Let me know what you think :). xoxo - saintamaris

**Author's Note:**

> xoxo saintamaris  
> \- follow me on tumblr @saintamaris


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